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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

I've not commited a crime. I try to help "The Sheep' at times.

Yet, often I feel like I must have done something wrong. I pray and
sometimes that helps, but sometimes not.
My Sweetheart was only 55 when she died from Cancer. It wasn't fair to her
or to me.
We didn't have children so life has gone from warm, loving, and full of care
and joy to alone-ness, self doubt at times, and sometimes worry and fear about the future.

Even if I was to meet a new Sweetheart, (which seems so so so remote of a chance) ,
how do you make up for years of familiarity that evolved in your relationship with your spouse?

I joined this site as hopefully a direction from God. But after reading the forums and profiles, it doesn't seem like success will hit me in the face.
Most people seem so exciting in their profiles. They travel the world, they climb Mount Everest, and they mingle with High Society.
I'm just a simple Bozo who is boring compared to these people.

And yet, these exciting people on the site are " ON THE SITE" !!! So maybe they aren't Mr. Excitement or Ms. Excitement after-all. They are Mr. Searching and Ms. Searching too...

I'm just venting, please forgive me. I, like many of you, put my everything into my marriage and well, you know what I mean.
I don't know how or where to meet a new Sweetheart and I'd feel like a teenager worrying about rejection and if I measure up..
I thought I would die before my wife, but God had other plans.


My heart goes out to all widows/widowers....It will be 5 years for me this August. I'm ready to move on, and have been for a while, but the selection of available Sweethearts at my age is pretty slim...
And from reading the forums, everyone seems scared to have a relationship..Maybe me too....

I had a wonderful bestest friend forever marriage. I should be happy for that and maybe not try to have it again with another Sweetheart.
But the taste was so wonderful and joyous that one hopes to find it again..I'd love to find love again. Who wouldn't...?

Does that make sense ????
Do you feel like you are in Widowhood Prison sometimes too ???

luv
Kenny
Jun 11th 2013 new
HI Kenny

Your post resonated with what I felt a few months ago - I too lost the love of my life to cancer and felt I would die a widow. I too had a wonderful relationship with my husband- we loved each other immensely and when he died part of me died and I just existed. However in prayer I felt led to seek to marry again. We were a real testimony of marriage to a lot of couples and I enjoyed being married, having someone to love and to be loved.

I too nearly gave up hope. At my age and in the country where I live, (there are limited number of CM members) would I find a man with kingdom values (not just a Catholic) who would accept me and my kids. Besides I come from an ethnic minority and have an accent.

But with God nothing is impossible. When I nearly gave up, I was surprised to get a message from a CM member who lived across the country -over 1500 kms from me. We are now in a relationship and we have met and he will come over again next week.

So do not give up hope. Our God is a God of surprises and he can do all things. You are not a simple Bozo. You are God's special loved child and he has someone special for you. in the meantime keep your eyes focused on him and delight in his presence and you will find favour in the Lord.

God bless
Jun 11th 2013 new
Hi Kenny

I don't think you are a bozo at all. I think you are a kind, gentle man and like many others, simply have not had an easy time with online dating. I think there are many here--myself included--who want the same things you do. As a widow myself, I know the pain you feel, and the desire to have that close, special relationship with someone again. I'm not looking for Mr Flashy, or Mr Wealthy, or Mr Knockout Looks--just someone to care about and take care of. So please don't give up--whether you meet them here or somewhere else, never look down on what you have to offer a lady. To me, it seems you have quite a bit..
Jun 11th 2013 new
Kenny,

All I have to say is wow--you get it. Try being a military widow. I don't feel old, but in my world, I am old and I am the visible reminder of what could happen. It is as if the fun has been sucked out of my life. It is lonely and it is hard. I believe in chapter twos, but I don't know how to play the games and I certainly do not know how to do the online dating games. I was always enough. Now I feel substandard and like I am an option.

I am a mom of five grown children. I wonder if anyone will ever see beyond my story, the successes of my children, my faith, etc.

Good luck and know that there is a female version of how you feel.
L
Jun 11th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said: I've not commited a crime. I try to help "The Sheep' at times.

Yet, often I feel like I must have done something wrong. I pray and
sometimes that helps, but sometimes not.
My Sweetheart was only 55 when she died from Cancer. It wasn't fair to her
or to me.
We didn't have children so life has gone from warm, loving, and full of care
and joy to alone-ness, self doubt at times, and sometimes worry and fear about the future.

Even if I was to meet a new Sweetheart, (which seems so so so remote of a chance) ,
how do you make up for years of familiarity that evolved in your relationship with your spouse?

I joined this site as hopefully a direction from God. But after reading the forums and profiles, it doesn't seem like success will hit me in the face.
Most people seem so exciting in their profiles. They travel the world, they climb Mount Everest, and they mingle with High Society.
I'm just a simple Bozo who is boring compared to these people.

And yet, these exciting people on the site are " ON THE SITE" !!! So maybe they aren't Mr. Excitement or Ms. Excitement after-all. They are Mr. Searching and Ms. Searching too...

I'm just venting, please forgive me. I, like many of you, put my everything into my marriage and well, you know what I mean.
I don't know how or where to meet a new Sweetheart and I'd feel like a teenager worrying about rejection and if I measure up..
I thought I would die before my wife, but God had other plans.


My heart goes out to all widows/widowers....It will be 5 years for me this August. I'm ready to move on, and have been for a while, but the selection of available Sweethearts at my age is pretty slim...
And from reading the forums, everyone seems scared to have a relationship..Maybe me too....

I had a wonderful bestest friend forever marriage. I should be happy for that and maybe not try to have it again with another Sweetheart.
But the taste was so wonderful and joyous that one hopes to find it again..I'd love to find love again. Who wouldn't...?

Does that make sense ????
Do you feel like you are in Widowhood Prison sometimes too ???

luv
Kenny
I don't understand Kenny, after 613 messages and including invitations for dinner, it's up to you to get out of prison.
You know that nobody will replace your dear wife. You will always have a special love for her.
I also, am sorry about the loss of your wife. she sure was young to die of cancer. It's a terrible disease to get, it seems like it's everywhere. They are working hard are curing it, many times it works for some. The hope is there.
A few days ago, we went up to the cemetery, at the mausoleum, to have a final prayer service and blessing for my dear aunt who died. We got there about 40 minutes early and when we walked in the chapel, there was a man sitting there in the front row, we went up to him, not knowing who he was, and while introducing ourselves, he told us he comes there everyday, for the past 7 years, his wife died and is entombed right in the chapel in front of him. He said he comes everyday and prays and asks his wife what is he suppose to do today. I felt sad for him, he is still grieving, and hasn't moved on at all. He is a good catholic man, but is loss. Praying

Jun 11th 2013 new
Kenny I don't think we are in a prison. The problem is people don't know how to handle a widow/ widowers in a relationship. We all get it, but many don't get what life is all about. How precious love is and how hard to let go.After 41 years of marriage it was hard to get back in the dating game. It is so easy to give up, because we look back and say will God ever let me love again in marriage. I also question this. I pray each day for hope and faith , so God can reveal my future mate. Others who haven't lost a spouse don't understand the yearning we have for love and be loved. I feel God does have a plan, but I feel either I or my future spouse is not ready . Don't loose faith or hope, but pray to The Lord.
Jun 19th 2013 new
I just peeked my head into this section of the forums, I didn't want to intrude along potentially such a sensitive section of the board and potentially cause any remote degree of ill will. I will send you my prayers, and with the OP, from what I've seen you post here, you are an amazing man that I respect and look up to. Your heart is in the right place, and you have God with you, it's not if, but when. Don't give up, you are a rare gem, all of you here are!
Jun 19th 2013 new
Prison sentence? My gosh, yes, it feels like that, most days.

Where to find someone? Ummm...how about right under your nose? mischievous There are lots of good people here, widowed or not. Most of the widowed have got over their loss, as you have, and are ready to move on. How about contacting one? Or two? Or three?

As for Mr/Ms Exciting...Marketing 101 brudda: sell the sizzle.

GIVE THE GALS A CHANCE!
Jul 19th 2013 new
Hi everyone, lots of good wisdom here, but I just thought I'd add something my (divorced) friend said to me the other day. She suggested that widows/widowers have an advantage over those who are divorced because - we know what "right" looks like. Although I know I can never replace my precious husband, and would never want to, I am comforted by knowing that I have built a successful relationship in the past and can do so again, if God wills it.

Just wanted to throw that thought out there, in the hopes that it might resonate.
Geri
Jul 20th 2013 new
Great point.
I would add: there is great comfort in knowing that your spouse did not leave you by choice.
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