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A couple of years ago my diocesan Marriage and Family Life minister told me that 85% of couples in Pre-Cana classes are having sex eyepopping. He said it very matter of factly, like it should be of no surprise. He also said that of the 85%, over half of them were living together. Again, he said it should be of no surprise, since our culture is a culture of "immediate gratification in everything".
I have had a couple of years to come to grips with this information and to do my own "research" and have found that CM is a very good data sampling that supports these statistics, especially from the numbers of members that answer "no" under premarital sex (way more men than women check "no" in this category).
Now, I know where I stand in this category (check my profile if you are interested) and I know where my exhusband stands (he is currently unmarried, living with his "sex slave"), but I am concerned where this leaves my four twenty-something year old children.
What is the Catholic church doing to reduce the percentages? Well, the marriage and family life minister said he is setting up households for the couples to live, seperately, so that they are no longer living together. Not a bad idea, but I think that is just treating the symptoms and not getting to the root of the problem.
I would like to hear suggestions from CM members, whether you checked yes or no for the premarital sex question or not, as to whether or not the Church should "do" anything in regards to the high percentages of members engaging in sex before marriage. AND if the church should "do" something, what should it be? Keep in mind that statistics show couples who cohabitate/engage in premarital sex have a higher divorce rate than couples that don't.
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Jun 15th 2013 new
Maybe if you allowed someone to "help" the couple ;-) be honest to God in any situation. I think in any I believe the root cause could be if you live to please God or yourself. Also if you do an action ask yourself if it would not put you in a state of grace.
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Jun 15th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-865578 said: Maybe if you allowed someone to "help" the couple ;-) be honest to God in any situation. I think in any I believe the root cause could be if you live to please God or yourself. Also if you do an action ask yourself if it would not put you in a state of grace.
Sorry I seem to not be able to spell. Here are some bullet points. -Ask someone or persons to keep you both accountable. -Do you live to pleasure yourself or God. -If in any situation ask yourself if it removes you from a state of grace.
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Jun 15th 2013 new
Joan,

I am sorry I have not yet attended Pre-Cana, so I have no estimates or ideas about these percentages. However, Im curious what do you think is the cause of the culture of immediate gratification of everything? What the church should do depends on what you think the problem is in the first place.


This is a topic I think I disagree with many people esp. Catholics. I personally think the problem is with Capitalism and its associated mechanized morality in our political system. When you reduce human beings to simply resources (i.e. Human Resources), when you talk about a certain action being legal instead of moral, you lead to the situation you have today.

I think this is a difficult problem that the Church cannot tackle overnight. I would prefer Capitalism be substituted by the Catholic idea of Distributism, and our political system at least incorporate the Catholic principle of Subsidiarity (which is not merely states rights preached by Republicans).
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Jun 15th 2013 new

This is a very delicate subject for most....to be sure...Even those that won't admit it...

I'm old now and have learned to leave the judging to God. I'm not smart enough nor do I have answers for man things in life....

To me,,,,,,having "Advanced Intimacy" was blessed for me by The Church because I was married. ...
Now I'm a widower,,,but still alive...with feelings, emotions,,etc..etc...

I may let God answer you on your question.....I know the Church Law.....That is why I seek marriage so intimacy can be shared under God's approval....

But don't go by what I say,,,I'm on God's team thankfully,,,,but I'm only the waterboy on the team......
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Jun 15th 2013 new
What should the Church do?

How about: addressing the issue from the pulpit?

I would be that most of these couples have never actually heard that cohabitation and fornication are wrong, and why.
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Jun 15th 2013 new
I suspect some people just want a pretty backdrop for their wedding photos, but they have to sit through the classes to get it. Beyond that, they don't give a hoot.
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Jun 15th 2013 new
(quote) Chris-906154 said: I suspect some people just want a pretty backdrop for their wedding photos, but they have to sit through the classes to get it. Beyond that, they don't give a hoot.
Chris, I think you have something here scratchchin. They could have a pretty backdrop on the beach in Hawaii. Why sit through the classes just to get that altar in the photos? Why don't they give a hoot?
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Jun 15th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: What should the Church do?

How about: addressing the issue from the pulpit?

I would be that most of these couples have never actually heard that cohabitation and fornication are wrong, and why.
Marge, Marge, Marge, You know why fornication and cohabitation can't be addressed from the pulpit; the people may never come back sad if the priest preaches that cohabitation and fornication are wrong, and why. Now we certainly don't want an empty church; that would mean an empty collection basket. Can't have that. embarassed
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Jun 15th 2013 new
(quote) Dave-915458 said: Joan,

I am sorry I have not yet attended Pre-Cana, so I have no estimates or ideas about these percentages. However, Im curious what do you think is the cause of the culture of immediate gratification of everything? What the church should do depends on what you think the problem is in the first place.


This is a topic I think I disagree with many people esp. Catholics. I personally think the problem is with Capitalism and its associated mechanized morality in our political system. When you reduce human beings to simply resources (i.e. Human Resources), when you talk about a certain action being legal instead of moral, you lead to the situation you have today.

I think this is a difficult problem that the Church cannot tackle overnight. I would prefer Capitalism be substituted by the Catholic idea of Distributism, and our political system at least incorporate the Catholic principle of Subsidiarity (which is not merely states rights preached by Republicans).
Dave, I read your post twice and am struggling with what you are trying to say. Could you please translate in lay-woman's terms? I do have a graduate degree but in "education", not in political science or the like. THANKS
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