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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Tired of the Games

Jun 23rd 2013 new
OK I know this will make some people Mad. But I am tired of the Games As a young child you were taught to say thank you if some one gave you something or did something for you even now my Nieces and Ne[phews take time to send a thank you for a gift I give them on their Birthdays or other Occasions. So why do we not do the same on this site when someone takes the time out to send emotigram or a message do you not say thank you if you are not interested in someone just say so this lets the person know that he or she shold look elsewhere. As my subject line says this is what I call games. Please feel free to vent or post your comments.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
I agree with you Bernard. If someone takes the time and effort to contact me, I feel it's only right to respond in a kind way. A person spends hours browsing profiles, sends a friendly note or emotigram and hopes for the best. The biggest slap in the face is when someone reads your profile and just ignores you.
I only signed up for a month, but am very discouraged.
Thanks for bringing this up.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
In my opinion, you are absolutely right... end of story.

My Rule of Thumb: treat a message on here the same as you would if you met the person in real life. (Communication is less than 10% content) It is standard in our culture to smile at and even say "hello" or "thank you" to strangers based on proximity our proximity as we pass them... so why do we offer so much less to our Catholic brothers and sisters? I would suggest that every time we act outside of this rule it is often out of fear or based on a false assumption; we don't know their hearts and we mustn't judge or act based on our own misperceptions. Love is an act of the will and every time we deliberately ignore, we are saying (like it or not) "You are not even worth my time."

If we are to "love our neighbor," then I would suggest we are morally obliged to show the most basic level of decency/acknowledgment to someone who is kind or polite (regardless of how attractive, talented, faithful, or compatible they may **appear** to be).

As I side-note: I don't always answer every interview response message as it really doesn't say anything (not even "Hi!"), but I try to reply with some form of "Thank you"

Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Steven-94269 said: OK I know this will make some people Mad. But I am tired of the Games As a young child you were taught to say thank you if some one gave you something or did something for you even now my Nieces and Ne[phews take time to send a thank you for a gift I give them on their Birthdays or other Occasions. So why do we not do the same on this site when someone takes the time out to send emotigram or a message do you not say thank you if you are not interested in someone just say so this lets the person know that he or she shold look elsewhere. As my subject line says this is what I call games. Please feel free to vent or post your comments.
AMEN!
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Matthew-928862 said: In my opinion, you are absolutely right... end of story.

My Rule of Thumb: treat a message on here the same as you would if you met the person in real life. (Communication is less than 10% content) It is standard in our culture to smile at and even say "hello" or "thank you" to strangers based on proximity our proximity as we pass them... so why do we offer so much less to our Catholic brothers and sisters? I would suggest that every time we act outside of this rule it is often out of fear or based on a false assumption; we don't know their hearts and we mustn't judge or act based on our own misperceptions. Love is an act of the will and every time we deliberately ignore, we are saying (like it or not) "You are not even worth my time."

If we are to "love our neighbor," then I would suggest we are morally obliged to show the most basic level of decency/acknowledgment to someone who is kind or polite (regardless of how attractive, talented, faithful, or compatible they may **appear** to be).

As I side-note: I don't always answer every interview response message as it really doesn't say anything (not even "Hi!"), but I try to reply with some form of "Thank you"

Matthew you put it very well. Better then I could ever do so. Thank you. You are a wise man.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Steven-94269 said: OK I know this will make some people Mad. But I am tired of the Games As a young child you were taught to say thank you if some one gave you something or did something for you even now my Nieces and Ne[phews take time to send a thank you for a gift I give them on their Birthdays or other Occasions. So why do we not do the same on this site when someone takes the time out to send emotigram or a message do you not say thank you if you are not interested in someone just say so this lets the person know that he or she shold look elsewhere. As my subject line says this is what I call games. Please feel free to vent or post your comments.
And maybe this will make some people mad too:

There is always a hesitation on what, if anything to respond. Women have responded with "no thank you, not interested" only to be met with a barrage of questions about "why" and a load of defensiveness.

Not responding is not playing games. Responding, stringing you along, and then blowing you off . . . THAT is playing games. We are all different people with different personalities and different ways of handling things. Not responding IS a response, especially if all is sent is an emotigram. This subject has come up many times and there are just as many people who would prefer no response than a rejection of "not interested."

I do not always respond. Just as I may meet someone in a social setting. If you smile at me, I may just smile back and then move on. The moving on is my visual clue that I am not interested in contact, you do not get that visual clue on a website. So it is a crap shoot.

On a side note, I too have made contact with men who have not responded and mine was not just an emotigram, but an actual email with a comment or question I do not take it personally, I move on.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
I agree-- not responding is rude, but I wouldn't call it "games" either.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
Hi Joanna,

I can understand your point. It does make sense. Nevertheless, you're forgeting who is the pursuer and who isn't. We as men are supposed to do all the work, and frankly after sending message after message, and not having any response, it does get tired. If roles were to be exchanged or at least more 50/50, maybe women would have a different perspective?!? It's just my insight on that. One should always evaluate both sides of an argument. I don't think we guys are whinners or not manly enough. it just gets tiresome.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
The only people I want writing back to me are those who have a genuine interest in getting to know me. I'm actually totally cool with a non response if they decide I'm not a good fit.

I've had a number of woman write back to me just to be nice. I can tell because the writing is so one dimensional that I don't even feel like writing back. The times I've given them the benefit of the doubt assuming maybe there are not good writers I've found that they had no intentions of actually meeting in person at all.

So yeah lack of response is fine by me.
Jun 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Carlos-977696 said: Hi Joanna,

I can understand your point. It does make sense. Nevertheless, you're forgeting who is the pursuer and who isn't. We as men are supposed to do all the work, and frankly after sending message after message, and not having any response, it does get tired. If roles were to be exchanged or at least more 50/50, maybe women would have a different perspective?!? It's just my insight on that. One should always evaluate both sides of an argument. I don't think we guys are whinners or not manly enough. it just gets tiresome.
I am not forgetting who the pursuer should be, but we read all the time how you guys like to receive first contact from an interested lady . . . or is that only when she fits your "perfect woman" picture?

When you contact a lady, be sure to actually send a message and not just the smiley face. We will respond more often than not to a message than to a smiley face.

And if some do not respond to that either, then maybe they are not full members which means they are unable to respond, or they don't know how to say "not interested" without feeling like they are hurting your feelings. Is her profile "shy?" That may give you a clue. But please, do not let a non-response affect your continuing search.

Blessings and good luck
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