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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 27th 2013 new
I agree with Margret,so many over 40 year olds just haven't found the right one-and through no fault of theirs.You can't just jump into Marriage for the sake of being married alone,people have to be cautious !
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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: What do you think?


I never thought so until I joined catholic match. There have been very cruel comments during heated threads by people who feel that never been married people are unable to sustain healthy relationships because they haven't lived with a spouse or haven't had long term relationships (never been married does not mean that there have not been long term relationships). To say there is something wrong if a person of a certain age has never been married is downright hurtful.

Sometimes the opportunity never presents itself. Sometimes a person is cautious and doesn't want to marry the wrong person and be stuck in a life long commitment. There are reasons why some of us have never been married that doesn't automatically translate to there being something wrong with us.



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Jun 27th 2013 new


To answer the question, I haven't experienced that discrimination in the off-line dating world, but in the on-line dating world, YES, being never married counts against us.
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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Anne-976912 said: I agree with Margret,so many over 40 year olds just haven't found the right one-and through no fault of theirs.You can't just jump into Marriage for the sake of being married alone,people have to be cautious !


Respectfully, in my opinion, humbly,,,when people have the mindset as you've shared,,,, they are already in "'the comfort zone"" of a single extreme caution life...

Many, not everyone,,,,will keep saying """You can't just jump into Marriage for the sake of being married""" as their safety net,,when they are 45,,at 55 and at 65...

One can be fairly accurate when reading many of the forum posts,,who will be single forever and those that may find meaningful relationships...It is so so so obvious..!!.

I'm just a singer in a rock n roll band,,and I'm not too smart,,,,but I agree we have to be cerebral at times and use caution...But caution is only one of the extended human senses...We may need to combine caution with desire and hope for GOD GIVEN needed companionship..

Personally,,,we can all find something in a potential mate to stop the relationship....Personally, again,,,,,,if I was as so so so so cautious,,,, as i see people here,,, when I met my late wife,,,I would not have had decades of shared wonderful joy....

Are you letting all the EXCUSES stop you from Sweetheart joy, contentment and inner peace..?????

This site may be classified as a dating site,,hopefully it is,,,but it may also be called the ""I'm not willing to REALLY REALLY REALLY take some risks"""" SITE... OR....the """I want a Sweetheart Handed to ME on a Silver platter Site """

Maybe i'm wrong...probably am....very disappointed at this site,,,,but I've tasted sweet warm compassionate shared wonderful love...I KNOW it can exist.....Once tasted,,,I'd love to experience,,, taste it again..But the window is closing,,and I'm old,,tired,,and maybe lazy,,and not too smart...


I'll check back in 20,,25,,and 30 years and I bet i see the same people talking about Extreme Caution,,and of course we have to say the obligatory...""IF AND WHEN IT IS GOD'S WILL""!!!

Of course that is true.....BUT Are YOU using your GIFTS to seek and attract a mate...God is not like Pizza Hut..He doesn't deliver Sweethearts to us.....He wants us to place the order with Him,,BUT we must go and ""PICK IT UP"",,,,,
luv
Herbert
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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: What do you think?
Ann,

I my own opinion, I don't think it does. Just like everything else, is divorced, height, nationality, etc. etc., a problem. I am sure they are to some. You will get the people that wonder why someone is not married at 40+. Then there are others that will think on the positive side and think, she/he is not just jumping in and is waiting for Mr/Ms right.

Food for thought....So, what would people be more against? Someone never married or someone that has been divorce/annulled?
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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said:

To answer the question, I haven't experienced that discrimination in the off-line dating world, but in the on-line dating world, YES, being never married counts against us.


Furthermore, I truly feel that the longer you have to wait for something, the more you appreciate it and fight to preserve it when it finally arrives. So no one should doubt the level of commitment of us never been marrieds.




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Jun 27th 2013 new
Yes and no is my answer.
I had hoped that never being married would not count against me in a catholic dating site but I suppose anything can count against you period! I agree with Carlos that being divorce is more acceptable in our society but again I think that it too (being divorved) can be seen as negative in the dating world. But having never been divorced but witnessing friends' divorce and the pain involved for both them and their children...most of the time I consider my own "never married" status as a blessing even if it makes me less desirable as a potential spouse.
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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:

Respectfully, in my opinion, humbly,,,when people have the mindset as you've shared,,,, they are already in "'the comfort zone"" of a single extreme caution life...

Many, not everyone,,,,will keep saying """You can't just jump into Marriage for the sake of being married""" as their safety net,,when they are 45,,at 55 and at 65...

One can be fairly accurate when reading many of the forum posts,,who will be single forever and those that may find meaningful relationships...It is so so so obvious..!!.

I'm just a singer in a rock n roll band,,and I'm not too smart,,,,but I agree we have to be cerebral at times and use caution...But caution is only one of the extended human senses...We may need to combine caution with desire and hope for GOD GIVEN needed companionship..

Personally,,,we can all find something in a potential mate to stop the relationship....Personally, again,,,,,,if I was as so so so so cautious,,,, as i see people here,,, when I met my late wife,,,I would not have had decades of shared wonderful joy....

Are you letting all the EXCUSES stop you from Sweetheart joy, contentment and inner peace..?????

This site may be classified as a dating site,,hopefully it is,,,but it may also be called the ""I'm not willing to REALLY REALLY REALLY take some risks"""" SITE... OR....the """I want a Sweetheart Handed to ME on a Silver platter Site """

Maybe i'm wrong...probably am....very disappointed at this site,,,,but I've tasted sweet warm compassionate shared wonderful love...I KNOW it can exist.....Once tasted,,,I'd love to experience,,, taste it again..But the window is closing,,and I'm old,,tired,,and maybe lazy,,and not too smart...


I'll check back in 20,,25,,and 30 years and I bet i see the same people talking about Extreme Caution,,and of course we have to say the obligatory...""IF AND WHEN IT IS GOD'S WILL""!!!

Of course that is true.....BUT Are YOU using your GIFTS to seek and attract a mate...God is not like Pizza Hut..He doesn't deliver Sweethearts to us.....He wants us to place the order with Him,,BUT we must go and ""PICK IT UP"",,,,,
luv
Herbert

Excuses Kenny. We can all find something in a potential mate to stop the relationship??

Fo me, I have been in two long term relationships. The "something in a potential mate to stop the relationship" was that he was emotionally abusive to me and I feared he was becoming physically abusive. He said after we broke up that "he purposely instilled feer in me to keep in line". After we broke up, he needed to go to therapy to deal with our break up and his jealousy and control issues. I didn't have to go to therapy because I was free and I felt I saved myself.

The second long term relationship was with someone who treated me well enough but didn't want to get married. His sole priority wa raising his daughter and there was nothing left for anyone else. Was I suppose to stay with him forever and wait for something that was not going to happen?

Your comments are inappropriate. No one knows another persons "mindset" of never been marrieds or the reasons we are not.


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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said:

Food for thought....So, what would people be more against? Someone never married or someone that has been divorce/annulled?


Oh, please don't go there.


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Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said:

Furthermore, I truly feel that the longer you have to wait for something, the more you appreciate it and fight to preserve it when it finally arrives. So no one should doubt the level of commitment of us never been marrieds.






Sounds like a clinical report from a textbook.....""The longer you have to wait"""""

EXACTLY...EXACTLY,,!!!!!!

One SHOULD NOT BE """"WAITING"""""" one should be pro-active....

Good luck on that waiting thing.....How long of A Wait is enough ?????

When one is 65,,75,,,,dancing with a potential mate at 88 years old...???

Thank you for posting this,,,,it speaks volumes...
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