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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Jun 27th 2013 new
When I finally got divorced, my kids were 8 & 10. That was 6 years after he left us. I went back to my maiden name for one reason. I was, am, will, always be my father's daughter! And I was no longer that man's wife! Very simple. Professionally, just as easy. Yes some folks stumbled over my log polish name, but it was worth it! And it tickled my dad to pieces!

Jun 28th 2013 new
I decided not to change my last name... hehe...
Jun 28th 2013 new
Interesting thread indeed. I think you should revert back to your maiden name. The kids will always be your kids. Blood is thicker than the last name.
Jun 29th 2013 new
(quote) Kate-806727 said:

My divorce is final and now I'm faced with the option to change my last name back to my maiden name. I'm unemployed and WHEN I start working again, I could have a clean start with a new last name.


The whole reason I changed my name when I got married was because I knew I wanted kids and I wanted to have the same last name they do. I remember growing up with a girl who's mom, for professional reasons, kept her maiden name. I thought it was so weird that you would not have the same name as your mom. So, part of me wants to keep my married name.


The other part of me knows that things have changed and it's not as strange to have a different last name than your mom. Where I live, a large number of kids have a mom with a different last name. (Apparently it's cultural) We are no longer a family and I'd like to, in more than one way, go back to being who I was most of my life (I changed my name about 6 years ago). But then there is the issue of what I do if/when I get married again.


I went to school with a woman who kept her 1st husband's name, even after she re-married, so I know that there are all kinds of options. What are other people's thoughts on this?

How about using your maiden name professionally and your married name everywhere else? But if your children are grown, you may want to consider your maiden name altogether. Ask your children what they think? Ultimately if you keep it, it would be because of them right?

I was married young, divorced young and went back to my maiden name before the ink was dry. My ex was not happy about it although I'm not sure why. Now I look back on that time of my life and it has caused me more problems to have changed my name to my ex's than to have kept my own.

Blessings on your discernment
Jun 30th 2013 new
I changed my name back to my maiden name when with my divorce and plan to keep my maiden name if I am blessed with finding a future husband. My lawyer told me I could change my name to anything I chose with the divorce so I considered using my father's original Italian name which was changed when he was a boy. I ultimately opted to use my maiden name but years later I told my dad of my original consideration and he said he wished I had changed to the Italian name to honor my heritage.
Jun 30th 2013 new
I kept my husband's last name after the divorce because I had accepted it as my name and I didn't want the divorce to change who I was. I had established myself professionally under that name. I had given my son that name and I liked the idea of having the same name as him. Plus I preferred that name over my maiden name. I totally understand women wanting to go back to their maiden name though. Had circumstances been different, I might have chosen that route also.
Jun 30th 2013 new
Pam, I am sure that my father is delighted that I took my family name back. My dad passed in 1998, but his final decline into the pit of Alzheimer's began in 1992. He missed my marital difficulties in those interim years, and the ten years after that he was my heavenly prayer warrior. When I write the French-Canadian name he was so proud of he must be smiling. Blessings to you!
Jul 1st 2013 new
I changed mine back because I didn't want to keep the name of an adulterer. My guess your on this site to find another husband in your future, so your gonna change your name anyways in the future if you remarry.
Jul 11th 2013 new
Personally, I would love to change my name. I am no longer "Mrs. ___". My kids are 22, 18 and 13 so the school issues are quickly going away. Two of my kids are girls and I imagine once they get married their last names will change. My decision rests with the Tribunal: if I receive an annulment, I will go back to my maiden name; if I do not, I will remain married in the eyes of the Church and keep his name. Pray, pray, pray...
Jul 12th 2013 new
I WILL ALWAYS BE MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER !!

I was no longer that man's wife!

very simple decision for me.....

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