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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jun 29th 2013 new
An email. Emotes don't really impress me. Maybe I've been here too long...lol
Jun 30th 2013 new
I think we gave up!!! irked So what is the answer!!!!! goldfish
Jun 30th 2013 new


I would prefer a message from the heart...All the other stuff is meaningless....Emotions make for endless joy and contentment,,,,analytical stuff is just to survive in this sometimes evil world and brings little or no inner peace and joy..
Jun 30th 2013 new
i never initiate but would prefer any positive input as long as it is honest. This does not necessarily mean that it would be appropriate to start out a relationship with an e-mail like to the scenario where the wife of an old married couple asked the husband to give her a romantic complement since she was, "so wrinkled and fat," where his reply is, "you still have good eyesight," (at least until the first year of dating is passed).

Jun 30th 2013 new
(quote) Alex-789274 said: Which method of first contact do you think is best: message, emoticon or chat?

Bonus points to whomever can answer for the other type of first contact.
Best? Definitely messages. I'm weary of chat requests especially if I don't know someone. I remember when a fellow CM member spammed me with chat requests even though I've never talked to them before. It was definitely annoying.
Jun 30th 2013 new
emoticon first
Jun 30th 2013 new
When I get a message, I know the person is a paid member and can read what I respond to. So that was my first preference. However I did not discount emoticons, for if the person was interested in my profile, this could lead them to a paid account. I see this in the blog in the story of Bill and Jeanne who had 13 emoticons before she became a paid member and now they are a couple.
Jun 30th 2013 new
This is a question that arises frequently in the Women's forum. The consensus seems to be that chat as a first contact is really creepy.
Of course, if you both interact in the forums a lot, having a chat probably would be okay, since it's not a "cold call" with a stranger.
Jun 30th 2013 new
Two more questions.

If something in their profile catches your eye, should you mention that? What would be an acceptable number of messages to send before assuming that the person is uninterested (or not a paying member) and you are getting creepy?

I am going to hold out on the bonus points question as I do not think enough time has passed; I might give a hint though.
Jun 30th 2013 new
(quote) Alex-789274 said: Two more questions.

If something in their profile catches your eye, should you mention that? What would be an acceptable number of messages to send before assuming that the person is uninterested (or not a paying member) and you are getting creepy?

I am going to hold out on the bonus points question as I do not think enough time has passed; I might give a hint though.
If you're sending messages that go unanswered, I would say stop after two. If she doesn't answer at all after two messages, you should consider her not interested and let it go. That said, if she is at least acknoweldging your messages with the Smiley emote, she might be showing interest, but she's not a paid member. I would say, send her 3-4 short messages, and if she is interested enough, she'll get a membership and answer you. If she doesn't become a paid member and answer you after 3-4 short messages, move on, as she's not as invested as you deserve for your efforts. And yes, if there's something specific in her profile that piques your interest, tell her and/or ask her about it. It shows that you've taken the time to read her profile.

I personally prefer someone answer my interview questions or send me a message if we've never interacted in any other way. If we've bounced messages in the chat rooms or forums, I'd be open to emote or chat, though, but most generally, I'm not fond of empty emotes.

If we're talking "Close Encounters" type of first contact, I would prefer just about anything over being an involuntary "guest"! LOL.
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