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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Relocating: near family (mine)

Jun 30th 2013 new
IS it just me or does anyone else think it is rather selfish to respond "near family (mine)" under the RELOCATING section of the profile? It reminds me of children when they are about 2.5 years old and their favorite suddenly becomes "MINE" (in addition to "no"). It appears to me if you respond with "near family (mine)" you are functioning at the emotional level of a 2.5 year old. Just sayin'.
Jun 30th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: IS it just me or does anyone else think it is rather selfish to respond "near family (mine)" under the RELOCATING section of the profile? It reminds me of children when they are about 2.5 years old and their favorite suddenly becomes "MINE" (in addition to "no"). It appears to me if you respond with "near family (mine)" you are functioning at the emotional level of a 2.5 year old. Just sayin'.
"their favorite WORD suddenly"
Jun 30th 2013 new
I like the idea of either yours or mine,flexible but still places value on family.
Jun 30th 2013 new
I was not willing to compromise (or so I thought) - when I wrote my profile. I was willing to go for a LDR but only if the person agreed to relocate. I did enter into a LDR but soon realised I was putting limits on a God who does work without limits. I realised I was selfish. My man was willing to relocate, however wanted to discern what is best for all of us; him, me, my kids and his kids (soon to be our kids). After being convicted in prayer, of my selfishness I was open to what is best for all of us. At the moment he has decided to move to where I live as I have an elderly father aged 94. I have decided that I would like to ultimately move to his state as his children are independent and have settled there with their own families. As my kids are still young, they will settle in a new place and all of us can be close to one another. So I think we need to let the Lord work in our situation, at least this is my experience. And by doing this, I am extremely happy in my new relationship and fill blessed.
Jun 30th 2013 new
just my .02.. I don't see it as being "selfish".. because there may be a good reason behind their answer. However i think it could limit your ability to meet someone, if the other person doesn't see themselves moving either due to a reason of their own. smile Praying
Jun 30th 2013 new
LDR is hard so I have 75 mile rule . If That person wants to relocate fine . . But Ct is the worst state because of Obamalloy . Who would want to come here . However in four years when my son is out of highs school that could change .
Jun 30th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: IS it just me or does anyone else think it is rather selfish to respond "near family (mine)" under the RELOCATING section of the profile? It reminds me of children when they are about 2.5 years old and their favorite suddenly becomes "MINE" (in addition to "no"). It appears to me if you respond with "near family (mine)" you are functioning at the emotional level of a 2.5 year old. Just sayin'.
It's not selfish, it's communication, and it's perfectly acceptable. People are in different stages of their lives, and the best thing that they can do is be upfront about their situation. Some of us on here have read about broken CM engagements because, lo and behold, neither party wanted to relocate (waaay long distance). That "romance" probably never should have started, if both were honest with themselves and each other from the git go.

If I wanted to live near all of my family, I would state that as a preference, and explain it in my profile (if I was looking for a specific area, only). That's why CM is a great tool, you can be very specific, or very vague in your searches.

As a side note, from many of your posts, it is "you", you seem to be finding fault. Let people "be", there is no "correct" way of going about this.
Jun 30th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: IS it just me or does anyone else think it is rather selfish to respond "near family (mine)" under the RELOCATING section of the profile? It reminds me of children when they are about 2.5 years old and their favorite suddenly becomes "MINE" (in addition to "no"). It appears to me if you respond with "near family (mine)" you are functioning at the emotional level of a 2.5 year old. Just sayin'.
Hi, Joan,
I actually said that in my profile & pondered whether it showed selfishness or truth. I decided to err on the side of caution and let it stand as is. I am highly adaptable & know that if I were in a LDR that moved toward a discussion of who moves where, that I would follow my heart in the matter..

Everyone has their own personal preferences as to being close to family. I become envious of those who are within arm's distance of their grandkids. Finally I am less than a mile away from my grandson--but he was 9 when I moved here & I missed a lot of his growing up. Now I have a soon-to-be-2-year-old granddaughter who is quite a distance away. How I long to spend time with her!

I don't know if this desire is more peculiar to women than men--I would hate to stereotype anyone. I'm simply stating my own preference & totally respect how others feel about this issue. theheart
Jun 30th 2013 new
Joan,

I'm with you; I don't think one should put limits on where one lives.

There might be an exigent or temporary situation that exists that requires it, but this should be the exception rather than the rule.

(it sounds as if the person is not willing to jump into the pool at the deep end, but would rather stay in the shallow end where it's much more "comfortable.")
Jun 30th 2013 new
The only reason I can think of for "insisting" on "near family (mine) would be in the case of a person who is caretaker or guardian for an elderly or handicapped loved one who cannot move.
Otherwise, I think it's a foolish question. How can I decide I'm willing to relocate near your family when I don't even know you yet?
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