TheMaker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all unitsmanufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a seriousdefect in the primary and central component of theheart.
Thisis due to a malfunction in the original prototype units codenamed Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of thesame defect in all subsequent units.
Thisdefect has been identified as "Subsequential InternalNon-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it isprimarily expressed.
Some of the symptomsinclude:
1. Loss ofdirection
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia oforigin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish orviolent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
TheManufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for thisdefect, is providing factory-authorized repair and servicefree of charge to correct this defect.
TheRepair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offeredto bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of theserepairs. There is no additional fee required.
Thenumber to call for repair in all areas is:P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Onceconnected, please upload your burden of SIN throughthe REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, downloadATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus,into the heart component.
Nomatter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus willreplace it with:
Please see the operating manual,the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before LeavingEarth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operatethe human being unit without correction voids anymanufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers andproblems too numerous to list, and will result in the humanunit being permanently impounded. For free emergencyservice, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding tothis recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so asto
prevent contaminationof that facility. Thank you for your attention!
P.S. Please assist where possible bynotifying others of this important recall notice, and youmay contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!