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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Jun 24th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: http://www.catholicmatch.com/blog/2013/06/seek-an-annulment-before-you-start-dating/
Great! I didn't date until my annulment was granted. I think that was a very important step for me but more importantly it caused me to focus on my children and their well being immediately after my divorce. Going through the annulment process and having a good therapist at that time helped me process what went wrong in my marriage, and develop a fresh, healthier perspective on relationships.
Jun 26th 2013 new
I don't even know that I want to re marry so why not seek male companionship without an annulment
Jun 27th 2013 new
Oh Cindy, what a can of worms, are u ready for it. I'm here for you if you need a friend. God bless you!
Jun 27th 2013 new
(quote) Cindy-681844 said: I don't even know that I want to re marry so why not seek male companionship without an annulment
Cindy, Did you read the blog? A deacon I knew said it very well, "unless you have a Decree of Nulity you are still married in God's eyes which means your choices should reflect that...would you have dated during your marriage?" He comfirmed for me what I already knew but shocked some of the others in the room. Good luck and God Bless.
Jul 1st 2013 new
Hi Cindy,

After my separation and divorce I did wait to seek out any sort of male friendship or attention (aside from the guys I studied with in my masters program) and several men whom I had know for years in Al-Anon (for families/ friends of alcoholics).

Even though though Holy Mother Church recognized my legal separation (still married and living apart from my husband) and the civil aspects of my divorce the "sacramental" status of my marriage was (and yours is) unclear until the tribunal reviews it and makes a decision.

When we profess our Faith and the teachings of the Church we are acknowledging the Sacraments, and Holy Matrimony is one of them. A Sacrament can not be "undone." We can't undo Baptism, an absolution after Reconcilliation, the Eucharist after the consecration, nor a Confirmation after the Bishop has imposed his hands. Marriage is the same. No one can "undo" the sacrament of marriage, only determine (through the Tribunal) if there was a sacrament there in the first place. If it's determined that there never was a sacrament there is a "Declaration of Nullity." In other words, the church recognizes the legal/ civil aspect of your marriage, and acknowledges that there was never a sacrament.

So, if one finds themself in a divorced situation or state they are presumed married. I would not have sought out male friends to go to dinner with, movies, an afternoon activity or an evening out when I was married because it was inappropriate. Those sorts of activities a married woman does with her husband. I had so many people question me why I wasn't going out with men, and many offers from co-workers to "fix me up" with a lone brother, brother-in-law, divorced male friend, etc. I was so tired of saying "no," "No," and "NO!"

It's a lonely time when you want male attention, someone to attend an activity with, go to mass with, etc. I was fortunate to have a variety of female friends, including some 20 years older than myself and able to attend a concert, a garden walk, etc. It was a blessing during that time.

I pray that you get charitable responses to your question here in the forum. Glad you posed the question.


Jul 2nd 2013 new
I waited until my annullment was granted to start dating and I don't regret it. I have witnessed others who waited until they were engaged to someone before they decided to seek annullment to get remarried. Some of these people could not get annullments and had their heart broken or married outside of the church. I wouldn't want my heart to be attached to someone I couldn't be with.
Jul 4th 2013 new
after the experiences I've had, having an annulment before dating is absolute! Without one, I've earned the hard way that men who say they'll get one IF they decide they've found the "one" are NOT truly wanting to be married & have lots of baggage. One gentleman even said "it's in process." Later I discovered that meant he was writing it, not that it was actually submitted. Ouch!
Jul 4th 2013 new
(quote) Jean-450782 said: after the experiences I've had, having an annulment before dating is absolute! Without one, I've earned the hard way that men who say they'll get one IF they decide they've found the "one" are NOT truly wanting to be married & have lots of baggage. One gentleman even said "it's in process." Later I discovered that meant he was writing it, not that it was actually submitted. Ouch!
How about this I have one . some on this site and another said I did not have one . On this site you have to send proof of it . I do have my opinions of it but you should never lie about it . Truth will never hurt you . Lying does.
Jul 5th 2013 new
(quote) Michael-556947 said: How about this I have one . some on this site and another said I did not have one . On this site you have to send proof of it . I do have my opinions of it but you should never lie about it . Truth will never hurt you . Lying does.
Michael, I do not remember having to send proof of my annulment to Catholic Match. Would that be the date the annulment was approved? The diocese where the annulment occurred? Perhaps that is what you mean. Please clarify. Thanks!
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