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Saint Anthony is the patron of lost things and missing persons.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Brian-278516 said: The discussions concerning divorced Catholic by members who are not divorced themselves have never gone well and have often ended it a lack of charity towards members who have gone through a divorce. Thus we created a separate room for those discussions. We publish a number of blog articles on the topic which clearly articulate the Church's teaching and have those authors occasionally comment in the divorce room as well. As of now we feel that separation does the most good for all involved.
It is not uncommon for those who have never been married to be contacted by those who are not free to marry in the Church with the intention of discerning a dating relationship. While it is true this topic is covered in various blog posts and in the Divorced forum, the s never-married members may not know to go searching these out; if they do readt he posts in the divorced forum, they may, depending on exactly what they read, may be left with a very incomplete understanding of the issues involved. Even in the best possible case, where they do find information that covers the most important concerns, they are not afforded the opportunity to ask questions or participate in the discussion.

While I agree that such discussions may become heated, the assertion that they never go well is quite over-reaching. There are many topics discussed in the forums that have a tendency to become uncharitable: the best way to deal with such behavior is to correct it if and when it occurs. Hopefully the members involved will learn charity and self-control int he process. Preemptively restricting conversation to avoid conflicts teaches no one anything.

As a final note, I will note that the lack of charity in the forum discussions being addressed here is not exclusively, nor even primarily, directed toward the divorced members, as suggested above. It is also worth noting that many of the claims of lack of charity in these discussions are not so, but rather the accuser reacting defensively to a difficult message they would rather not hear. Withholding the truth in such cases is not charitable -- in fact, it is quite the opposite.

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Jul 05 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: It is not uncommon for those who have never been married to be contacted by those who are not free to marry in the Church with the intention of discerning a dating relationship. While it is true this topic is covered in various blog posts and in the Divorced forum, the s never-married members may not know to go searching these out; if they do readt he posts in the divorced forum, they may, depending on exactly what they read, may be left with a very incomplete understanding of the issues involved. Even in the best possible case, where they do find information that covers the most important concerns, they are not afforded the opportunity to ask questions or participate in the discussion.

While I agree that such discussions may become heated, the assertion that they never go well is quite over-reaching. There are many topics discussed in the forums that have a tendency to become uncharitable: the best way to deal with such behavior is to correct it if and when it occurs. Hopefully the members involved will learn charity and self-control int he process. Preemptively restricting conversation to avoid conflicts teaches no one anything.

As a final note, I will note that the lack of charity in the forum discussions being addressed here is not exclusively, nor even primarily, directed toward the divorced members, as suggested above. It is also worth noting that many of the claims of lack of charity in these discussions are not so, but rather the accuser reacting defensively to a difficult message they would rather not hear. Withholding the truth in such cases is not charitable -- in fact, it is quite the opposite.

VERY Well stated.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Ann-69118 said: A never married forum would be great and be a fair.
While I understand your concerns, this is unlikely to happen we would like to have less rooms rather than more. We want more activity per room than less and further segregation creates less activity. A never married room simply does not add to the discussion given the singles room we already have. While it is possible for someone who is widowed or divorced to be insensitive to someone who is never married, it rarely happens and when it does we can enforce the existing rules. However when issues of divorce were discussed among never marrieds and divorced members the thread would typically blow up and become unproductive to everyone. Based on this history of these discussions we think it is best to follow the current model we have in place. One suggestion is that if you are interested in questions about divorce from the perspective of a never married Catholic, please feel free to email our editor with your suggestions and maybe she can have some of our writers address them. media@catholicmatch.com
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Jul 05 new
So if I am not divorced then I can't post in that room? I paid to be on this sight so I do not get why I would not be able to post there.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Bernadette-363720 said: So if I am not divorced then I can't post in that room? I paid to be on this sight so I do not get why I would not be able to post there.
Because on the day they opened that room, persons who were never married became uncharitable and made that forum a miserable place and probably hurt other people because of the uncharitable things they posted. I was online that day but did not see it until it was over and the posts had been deleted. The room became closed to never marrieds at that point in time due to those posters. That is why we can't go in to that room and post. .............................My whole reason for bringing this up was because I was pursued by a divorced man this week who even talked about flying to my town before he had ever asked me even one question, and who is in rebellion about the issue of divorce and annulments. He happens to have been married 2 times and I told him from the beginning after his long song and dance- "have you applied for your annulment ?"and he gave me the song and dance on that and said he did not believe in it. I think that for people like that person- we should be able to bring it up. .........Lots of unmarried or never married members have to encounter this very often here.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: Because on the day they opened that room, persons who were never married became uncharitable and made that forum a miserable place and probably hurt other people because of the uncharitable things they posted. I was online that day but did not see it until it was over and the posts had been deleted. The room became closed to never marrieds at that point in time due to those posters. That is why we can't go in to that room and post. .............................My whole reason for bringing this up was because I was pursued by a divorced man this week who even talked about flying to my town before he had ever asked me even one question, and who is in rebellion about the issue of divorce and annulments. He happens to have been married 2 times and I told him from the beginning after his long song and dance- "have you applied for your annulment ?"and he gave me the song and dance on that and said he did not believe in it. I think that for people like that person- we should be able to bring it up. .........Lots of unmarried or never married members have to encounter this very often here.
Which is why I believe the best course of action when you run across someone who is divorced and either does not want to see an annulment or does not know why they should direct them to the divorced section of our site which has more than enough information to get them informed. You can also remind them in a kind way that they probably consider the terms of use as they agreed to not use the site for romantic purposes. If they have any questions they can always contact customer service.
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Jul 05 new
The blind leading the blind?
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: The blind leading the blind?
ashamed Something is not quite right.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Marian-83994 said: .Lots of unmarried or never married members have to encounter this very often here.
That should include annulled and widowed, who are considered single and able to marry in the Catholic Church. They belong in the group of the unmarried. They have just as much problem being contacted by the divorced.
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Jul 05 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: The blind leading the blind?
I don't think those that have gone through divorce and annulment are the blind leading the blind. Ask some of them about the process. A lot can be learned from them.
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