Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
The total security then leads to inner contentment which then ALLOWS bestest friend Sweetheart chemistry...
This can take much time or little time to accomplish and can cease to exist at any of the steps as listed above....All the steps must be finished,,,,but the end result is security,,,,inner joy,,peace and contentment which can then be SHARED........GIVEN and RECEIVED !!!!
If not SHARED,,,,it really does NOT exist......
Our messages were often long and easy to write, and when that wasn't possible there was constant courtesy to let the other know if we weren't able to to get back with a more appropriate response due to whatever reasons. We quickly moved onto texting one another often, wishing one another a good morning or night, or simply checking up on the other to make sure they were doing ok. It came natural for the two of us, we wanted to do these things, and in an instance where she was sick, I asked if she could text me that she made it back home safe from work, despite the fact that it'd wake up me when I'd need to sleep for work. I worried about her, even though I didn't know her extremely well, perhaps it was simply infatuation, but the feeling was mutual.
Soon after that we skyped, and the first one or two times really went well, but then on the third, she was feeling a bit sick, and tired, and despite trying to carry the conversation it didn't hold up too great. At this point she said she felt the "chemistry" was gone after that last conversation, but convinced her to give it another go, as I didn't believe that. After that the next couple conversations on skype went great, and she took back what she said. Long story short she ended up meeting someone much closer, which I was fine with since I was at least 11 hours away, and while I'm sure it would have been manageable, I knew I wouldn't be capable of offering her the same degree of attention someone who was probably within a half an hour of her could. In the end we still talk as good friends, and there aren't any hard feelings or anything.
It's a rough situation Carlos, and in your instance I don't know if it's a case of the person dating other people at the same, finding a closer connection with one of those other people, then deciding to break things off, or if they're just arbitrarily deciding that something feels slightly different, therefore the "chemistry" must be gone. While it sounds like you have more experience than I do in terms of the degree and number of contacts you've made with members, what I have gleaned from my experience on here is that some people are more mature than others. I've had plenty of people just randomly stop messaging, despite having good conversations with them, but I've had a small handful of people (the one I mentioned earlier as well), who've been wonderful, and considerate about how they approach things, as well as how they maintain contact.
Ultimately the person you'll end up with either through here, or outside of it, will be those things I described and not the kind of person who arbitrarily gives up on things. To give a point to women, and men as well, this site's purpose is to find the best possible person for us. Unfortunately as a result, we may lose some that we otherwise thought held a good connection with us. Continue to pray for God to help you find the right person for you, and hopefully someone will see something that others may not have appreciated. My final piece of advice, and the reason I stay on this site, is that it only takes one person to change your entire life, and if you're looking for a good catholic, this is one of the best places you can look. Good luck Carlos.
I hate that word.
I truly believe that when people say, "there's no chemistry", what they mean is, "I don't find him/her sexually attractive".
You don't need that kind of "chemistry". Sexual attraction grows once you have established a mental connection that can grow into an emotional connection which can grow into a spiritual connection which can then become a social/legal connection and finally a physical connection.
In fine, are you on the same wavelength? Talk the same lingo? Think in the same manner? Find the same things funny? Or do you wonder what he/she is all about and where they're coming from?
Most folks aren't patient. Most (esp. never-marrieds) seem to think the sky is going to open up and a Voice from Heaven is going to announce, "This is your Beloved in whom you will be well pleased".
Life and love don't work like that. It takes TIME and PATIENCE, as Kenny has already said.
Give the guy/gal a chance!
According to JPII in his book Love and Responsibility this chemical reaction is a metaphysical sexual attraction that urges the desire between a man and woman. It is truly a gift from God called Eros love (Theology of the Body). This biological gift allows the ability to procreate and bring new life into the world. What a blessing! The problem arises when this desire is translated into a utilitarian concept of egoism to please oneself. Literally, the opposite of Love is To Use.
The chemical reaction is only the beginning and to move toward a more authentic love as Emmanuel states it take two whole healthy mature individuals to take the responsibility of making a choice. Ethical love at its highest virtue is the supernatural gift of Charity. It is the spiritual reality of free will to die to oneself as a gift for the authentic commitment for one person.
The chemical charge has to be raised up to its highest value of Love as a virtue which is connected emotionally, sensually, morally, and spiritually. Love cannot be based on the body alone and has to affirm the entire value of the beloved.
Chemistry is a true gift from God that is an important element for marriage. Keep praying and God will surely bless you with your beloved.