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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael



I'd love to re-marry again,,but it seems like """ jumping through hoops """ to try and find a forever Sweetheart....

Every day that passes I'm getting more used to being single/independent...

I think,,,and I'm not too smart,,but it takes compromise,,,,..It seems people on this CM site are all experts on relationships,,and yet many are single and alone,,so where is the expertise...????

Everyone has their opinions and checklists,,but they are still here ,,and alone and lonely...

How are those check-lists working out for you..??????

Maybe because I had a successful ,,,beautiful,,love filled marriage,,I find it hard to see where all the roadblocks of other people come from...

For divorced/annuled people,,,my heart goes out to you,,,but didn't you see that abuse,,cheating..violence,,etc,,etc,,was on the horizon....????

I just want simple,,a bestest friend forever Sweetheart..to share all of life...and to laugh..and laugh..and laugh....

How about you..????
Are you so entrenched in your checklists that you will always be alone and never share intimacy in a husband/wife setting..????

Are you/////// we running out of time,,,??? and save the """I want to be sure Baloney,,,no one is ever sure,,

we return now to normal programming...



Jul 13th 2013 new



I guess no one wants a Sweetheart,..........,and you are just here for the popcorn and the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...Which are very good by the way...they use Strawberry jam,,,as per Jerry....
Jul 13th 2013 new

Honestly, after being on this site, I no longer am convicted about remarriage. It was a number of bad reasons that got me married in the first place. And whether I saw things "on the horizon", Kenny, I glossed over them because of those bad reasons. Our marriage failing was both our faults, and a big reason was that we were horribly mismatched. My 16-yr-old son has said he is glad his dad and I did not stay married; he sees how different his mom & dad are from each other, and he can see how we all would have been miserable. That being said, I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit works miracles in people's lives, if they are open to Him. Even supposedly mismatched people could become a good marriage if they were open to change, recognized that sacrifices and compromises need to be made, and shared the supreme goal of growing deeper in their relationship with God. I think this happens rarely because many people are focused on "I" rather than "we" or "he/she". They want to find someone who pleases them, rather than whom they could please.

I was blessed to find a ministry, Beginning Experience, through which was I able to be healed a great deal from a number of emotional wounds, and to grow in my relationship with God. I still keep working at things, too. I have dated a couple of men since my annulment, but those matchings didn't work out for the long run. However, especially in the last relationship, I experienced the thrill of maturely talking out differences and healthily reaching understandings. Aspects of that relationship showed me the possibilities of how awesome a good marriage could be. It's like having a piece of gold or platinum jewelry, and knowing you'll never settle for cheap imitation again.

I've been on this site this time for over a year. I have online friends, I have met new friends in person through the CM weekends I organized. But no man has been interested enough to get to know me better, to want to date me. So my singleness, in relation to this site, is not due to my being unwilling to meet people or get to know them. Do I want to remain single the rest of my days? No. But I do have to be prepared for that scenario. And I refuse to be an unhappy person--that would be self-betrayal, and a rejection of the God Who provides for all my needs.

And it was the caramel mochachinos and raspberry-kiwi tarts that kept me hanging around, not the pb&j's. wink

Jul 13th 2013 new
I seriously doubt it. And sometimes I'm not sure if I'd even care if I didn't. Go back and forth a lot; had a nice, peaceful 10 years where I wanted nothing to do with it, then it pops back into my head.
Jul 13th 2013 new
Me? Evidenlly not, when I can't even get someone to meet me halfway. laughing laughing

PS - We have "regular" programming? wide eyed Who knew?
Jul 13th 2013 new
Yes, I fully expect to re-marry.

Let's not categorize people and "statuses" - you can find broken Never Marrieds, Divorced, Annulled or Widowed, who have had bad relationships in their lives with their Sweethearts, and you can find healed Never Marrieds, Divorced, Annulled or Widowed who healed from the bumps in the road (which EVERYONE has). I'm one of the healed.

It takes the right time and the right place. Without writing a book on it, in the last year, I was in major transition: medically, financially, geographically, etc. Now I am "normal" again, and have been for most of 2013. I am now a two-time survivor, which translates to me still having my sense of humor as I look at you like you're full of baloney! laughing

I leave it all up to God, quite frankly. As I multi-task, finding a husband isn't my first priority, but I can certainly look while I am working on other things, and figuring out where the best place for me and my daughter should be for at least the next two years.

So, Mr. Adorable, how many CM women have you met so far? scratchchin For all of your threads, you might as well set up an event in your area, which is VERY centrally located. I'm one of those who likes to meet immediately, which could be the same day as initial contact if schedules permitted. People don't use their common sense: meet in a public place (even fast food if that's all that's available). I've had some interesting CM dates due to men being close to where I was, and had errands to run, etc. All of this typing will never replace eye to eye contact!

Oh, and quit saying that you're OLD! wide eyed You're as young as you feel, young man! wink

So, as they say, we can be our own worst enemy. When was the last time that you went to the Catholic church socials, or approached a woman in public? Maybe you need a matchmaker?! mischievous Seriously, check out the Get Together Room (or whatever it's called). CM Indy has a lot of gatherings and active folks in the Indy/KY area. Report back with some results! wink


Jul 13th 2013 new
It would be nice if the kettle would quit calling the pot black.

This is not a fast food restaurant where you order one spouse, your way, to go, in under 2 minutes. It takes time. It takes the right 2 people being ready at the same right time. Just because people haven't had immediate success does not mean they are doing anything wrong or will never find the one that will be their match. This culture seems to be so all about instant gratification and immediate results.
Chill. Grow. Mature in faith and love.

And please quit bashing on divorced people -- you seem to know little about the varied causes, contributing factors, hard decisions, lifetimes of effort, degree of faithfully trying, and degree of abuse some of us went through.
I'm sure, if put under the microscope you like to aim at others, your marriage actually would prove to be not so perfect, at least for your spouse if not both of you. I'm glad you remember her with joy and wonderful memories but there were tough times in there too -- it's the grit that polishes the gems.

Many of us are on here for friendship and learning and support, some as we wait on annulments, some as they recover from bad situations and become ready for a future good relationship. No one should be made to feel bad for where they are and why they are here.

I am very hopeful about a budding relationship I'm in now which, after annulment,may move on to the beautiful life I pray for for myself and all of us.
Let's pray for each other and help each other.
Jul 13th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said: ,..It seems people on this CM site are all experts on relationships,,and yet many are single and alone,,so where is the expertise...???? 

Everyone has their opinions and checklists,,but they are still here ,,and alone and lonely...

How are those check-lists working out for you..??????

For divorced/annuled people,,,my heart goes out to you,,,but didn't you see that abuse,,cheating..violence,,etc,,etc,,was on the horizon....????

I just want simple,,a bestest friend forever Sweetheart..to share all of life...and to laugh..and laugh..and laugh....


I am no expert on relationships yet I do have a special needs son and due to this I think a lot of men have a difficult time imagining a relationship me. Yes I am divorced, although I won't go in to the reasons for the divorce, I am confident that it nothing to do with our son.
Yes, we all have our opinions and checklists and I want someone who can see the loving, positive, 'bestest friend forever Sweetheart' that I know I can be and who cherishes me and accepts my son as a remarkable gift and blessing from God and as a beautiful extension of me.

You say..."I just want simple,,a bestest friend forever Sweetheart..to share all of life...and to laugh..and laugh..and laugh...." but what is on your checklist and how is that working for you? What if she has children or one with special needs or an aging parent she is caring for? I would hope that those of us in these situations would be viewed as having deep love and devotion that we could offer to a forever sweetheart.
Jul 13th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said: I'd love to re-marry again,,but it seems like """ jumping through hoops """ to try and find a forever Sweetheart....
Every day that passes I'm getting more used to being single/independent...
How are those check-lists working out for you..??????

For divorced/annuled people,,,my heart goes out to you,,,but didn't you see that abuse,,cheating..violence,,etc,,etc,,was on the horizon....????

I just want simple,,a bestest friend forever Sweetheart..to share all of life...and to laugh..and laugh..and laugh....

First of all, having a checklist isn't all that bad. It helps "develop a clear mental image of your ideal spouse" (Source: Neil Clark Warren, Finding the Love of Your Life) But keep in mind that the checklist should include qualities of character, not superficial things like "must like sci-fi movies, etc."

None of us here are experts. Since I like to analyze and research topics, I go to trusted experts for my resources such as the one mentioned above. By the way, an "expert" in the Indianapolis area is Amy Owens, The Singles Coach.

In re: your comment about divorced people seeing that abuse, etc. was on the horizon--No one goes into a marriage with the thought that it will come to a bad end. When sign & symptoms creep in & you become aware of them, you seek help in order to save the marriage. Sometimes the marriage is salvagable, other times it's not. Sometimes one spouse is willing but the other has made up his/her mind that it's over. Believe me, from having served in divorce ministry for over 10 years, I've heard all kinds of stories (mine included). Divorced people go through the grief stages just as widowed people do. It's all painful. But through the grace of God we grow & move on.

I have been single-again for 15 years. I always had it in the back of my mind that I would like to re-marry but I was ready to accept being single for the rest of my life if that's what God had in His will for me. I came on this site just out of curiousity. And guess what! At age 70, I did find my Sweetheart, someone with whom I look forward to spending the rest of my days. I trusted in God's timing & relied on constant prayer plus I had tons of patience.

In the June 28 devotional The Word Among Us, I found this statement: "Your Father has great things in store for you--even if you feel as old as Abraham!" theheart
Jul 13th 2013 new
boggled Where are you guys hiding on these gourmet goodies?
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