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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Jul 14th 2013 new
(quote) Jim-388330 said: Deb,

My thought on this is that it isn't the kids that scare people. It's the situation. That's my two cents.
I would be interested in knowing the difference between the children and the situation. scratchchin
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Jul 14th 2013 new
I agree...How does someone know the situation until they know me? My situation is quite stable and very happy. I am competently, confidently raising my kids. Lots of family and close friends for support...We have lived in the same parish for 16 years and all of us are actively involved. I think people are scared of ready made family, but fail to consider that families continue to evolve and a new persons presence(and perhaps their children or new children) will move with that evolution. Ready made families do not exist. God encourages challenge:)
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Jul 14th 2013 new
Joan, it pains me greatly to agree with you about men in general, and it's worse than that: in 2012, nearly half (47.5%) of children born in the US are born to unmarried mothers. So men in general are not only uninterested in raising another man's kids, they're not even interested in raising their own; granted some proportion of those unmarried fathers are raising their kids, but I couldn;t find that stat.

Since children are a gift from God, it seems to me that Catholic men, especially should regard EVERY child as a gift from God irrespective of a child's origin, biological parentage, age, and so forth. For my part, I would consider myself blessed indeed should God grant me the gift of more children to raise (I have one adult daughter by marriage, raised from the age of 7).
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Jul 14th 2013 new
Deb... I think a guy would be nuts to reject you and yours because of you and yours ... On the contrary, he should thank his lucky stars that he has a chance to become part of a quality family!!!
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Jul 14th 2013 new
Hey Deb;
You are a hero, hats off to you. Any man that don`t see it is a fool.We get views, and people move on because they either get wrong first impression, or chicken out. If they chicken out, that`s great, you don`t want a guy that is attracted to you in one way or another but have no guts to see the true beauty of your sacrifice, which as I understand happens to be the joy of your life.
If the man is attracted to you but chickens out, he is a double fool, because he does not realize that all this time you have been doing the whole job by yourself, so it cannot be too difficult to just lend you a hand, and at the same time enjoy the benefit of loving and being loved by a great woman.

I checked out you profile, I`m convinced that you presented youself beautifly and honestly. Reading you profile and watching you pictures, I don`t see how any sane man could resist your offer. Don`t you give up. There is a man who would be more than honored to be your husband. Just wait.

To answer you question about scared man: they are not man, they are chicken.

God bless you my dear

Bohdan
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Jul 14th 2013 new
I understand. I have seven kids; two adult daughters and five from 17 on down. I have a six-year-old and an eight-year-old. Many men believe the children will interfere in the martial relationship, and so do many women. Many women my age are "in a different place" than I am and don't want to bother with children, especially small ones. Don't worry about it. The right fellow is out there for you, and I hope you find him.
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Jul 14th 2013 new
I can't speak for other men, but I do know for myself and for some other guys I know additional children is not an issue. Other parts of the overall situation my be at play, so don't think it's just the children.
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Jul 15th 2013 new
(quote) Deb-926847 said: I am 42 and have 6 kids that I have full physical and legal custody of. I was married for 16 years and we had 4 biological kids and adopted 2 little girls before the marriage ended due to extreme difficulties. My kids are great children! I am a very competent single parent and have time to add dating and hopefully a serious relationship to my life. My children are comfortable with this. I'd welcome more children. But....I get lots of views and then folks move on. I am considering dropping my membership, even though it is difficult to meet faithful Catholic's locally. Any thoughts? Thanks!
WOW!!!

Six Children!!!!!!!!

How do you make ends meet?

How do you have time for anything else?

What makes you think you have room for a man in your life, and put him before the children?

Before reacting read my profile... laughing
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Jul 15th 2013 new
I have a bit of hope to share. On Saturday, I attended the wedding of a friend of mine. She has six children (5 boys and a girl - aged 21 to 5) and he has a 17 yr old girl. She had known the groom in high school and they reconnected after her divorce. She would not date him until she received an annulment and then, wild horses couldn't keep them apart! After several months of dating, and talking with their kids, they began to do "family things" - BBQs, trips to the zoo, etc. Finally, he asked the oldest son for his mother's hand in marriage (!) and then proposed. They attended pre-cana and spoke often with their priest. They had a small wedding in the church and a reception at my friend's house. It was absolutely perfect. I see a man who does not see her children as a burden, but as a precious part of his wife, body and soul.

"Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife for the child conceived in her womb is of the Holy Spirit."

Are not our children also children of God by adoption in Jesus Christ? Should not the angel's message to Joseph ring true for our suitors as well?

Peace, Deb. And patience.

Alice

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Jul 15th 2013 new
Ha! All the guys that are posting are in their fifties. Where are the guys in their early 40's?
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