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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Do you think there is a direct co-relation between an increase in the divorce rate and a decrease in the marriage rate? www.catholicmatch.com
Jul 16th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: Do you think there is a direct co-relation between an increase in the divorce rate and a decrease in the marriage rate? http://www.catholicmatch.com/blog/2013/07/its-time-to-stop-the-marriage-decline/
Yes, not at all surprisingly, it is inversely proportional by a factor
Jul 16th 2013 new
It has taken me 30+ years to consider marriage again. I need to be with someone who has the same depth of commitment as myself. And to find someone like that, will in itself, be very difficult. There are very few, if any, men out there who would even want to marry after 55 or 60.
Jul 16th 2013 new
Poor grammar! O crap! To find someone like that will, in itself, be very difficult.
Jul 16th 2013 new
Joan, I think the article that you extract your question from is a good one. Some of us may have heard others say, from time to time: before a man and a woman get married in the Church these days, they should be required to get a bachelors degree in matrimony first. Having said that, and I do not blame CM for it, but even here, I must say that the statistics are not encouraging at all, as so many persons seem to be looking for another marriage, or a new marriage, but so many impediments exist, profile after profile after profile. What I am saying is that more than 1/2 of all the profiles on this site indicate a clear impediment to sacramental marriage, simply on the basis of the information that is contained within it. Yet, those persons either don't know it, disagree with it or don't care. The first one is surmountable, the other two are a sheer pain in the behind. I think when one digs deeper and considers other matters, the number again plummets and I think it settles right around the 10% impediment free mark. It is just staggering to come to this realization here. Never mind that there are about twice as many male members as there are female. I would love to read a daily blog where some of the overall stats are published for members to read and then ponder.
Jul 17th 2013 new
So here is a question not related to this thread, but based on your comment about more men and fewer women on CM. If there are really that many more men why do we women have so few views, and even fewer inquiries? There is a strong code of exceptional, faithful, 7/7 women on CM and they go weeks and months without a nibble, let alone a bite.
Jul 17th 2013 new
(quote) Suzanne-930338 said: So here is a question not related to this thread, but based on your comment about more men and fewer women on CM. If there are really that many more men why do we women have so few views, and even fewer inquiries? There is a strong code of exceptional, faithful, 7/7 women on CM and they go weeks and months without a nibble, let alone a bite.
Well, purely for statistical/research reasons, as this site encourages in the article Joan sites... you can check for yourself. Go into search mode and then enter a 25 mile in most proximity to you. Do this for men first, then women, or vice versa. Keep the search to maximum "NO PREFERENCE" and don't check any boxes. Then push "SEARCH". After the search completes, go to the end of the list and note the total number of members of that sex, in the same age range and then compare the two, coming up with a ratio. Now it won't always be the same, as with time, members come and go, etc... Now if you think that is too small of a sample base (as I did) than you simply specify a different reference point for the 25 mile radii and repeat. Do it to your heart's content until you get the ballpark ratio. And there you are! BTW, one can do so many more things with that search engine!!!!! As long as you don't click on the same sex members individual profiles no same sex will know that you were checking out the "gals" or the "guys" if it be me or another man. I was interested in the ratio. I can't answer your question of why so many women get so few views. I don't think anybody can really, since I don't think the management of this site gets into that level of detail, but it could. It could set up a counter, then totalize all view hits and see what percentage of women get the bulk of them, and what percentage does not. Let me surmise WILDLY, so ladies please don't beat me up about it. The same could just as well apply to us men as well. So, there I go, out on thin ice again... maybe only 10% of the women who are truly impediment free for marriage (and I know I will still get slammed for this) are getting 90% of all the men's inquiries... and something similar on the men's side... Now my numbers and my reason could be way off,,,,,,OOOOOKKKKKAAAAAYYYY! I really, can't answer that one with any real accuracy, only the site research group could develop something to do so and only approximately... Another theory (actually more like a guess) could be that since the vast majority are full of impediments to marriage, especially on the men's side, those men are here specifically looking for those women who are not 7/7 thus have no problems with contraception and premarital sex (for example, as that seems to be the largest objection to Church teaching) that those 50 some percent are getting all the attention. I think this could well be likely. And if in fact true, one could argue that this site UNWITTINGLY, as much as they are not DIRECTLY encouraging and ARE actually DISCOURAGING sinful behavior, really are providing a vehicle for such persons to meet, even here. It's not even funny how the devil attacks Catholics, is it? I bet that there are plenty of women going after the virginity of young men, and vice versa. Then there are the pretenders for whatever be their fetish... etc.... So now, the most likely answer to you is probably a combination of both of the ones I describe and others... Maybe others have other guesses of why that is.
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) John-971967 said: Well, purely for statistical/research reasons, as this site encourages in the article Joan sites... you can check for yourself. Go into search mode and then enter a 25 mile in most proximity to you. Do this for men first, then women, or vice versa. Keep the search to maximum "NO PREFERENCE" and don't check any boxes. Then push "SEARCH". After the search completes, go to the end of the list and note the total number of members of that sex, in the same age range and then compare the two, coming up with a ratio. Now it won't always be the same, as with time, members come and go, etc... Now if you think that is too small of a sample base (as I did) than you simply specify a different reference point for the 25 mile radii and repeat. Do it to your heart's content until you get the ballpark ratio. And there you are! BTW, one can do so many more things with that search engine!!!!! As long as you don't click on the same sex members individual profiles no same sex will know that you were checking out the "gals" or the "guys" if it be me or another man. I was interested in the ratio. I can't answer your question of why so many women get so few views. I don't think anybody can really, since I don't think the management of this site gets into that level of detail, but it could. It could set up a counter, then totalize all view hits and see what percentage of women get the bulk of them, and what percentage does not. Let me surmise WILDLY, so ladies please don't beat me up about it. The same could just as well apply to us men as well. So, there I go, out on thin ice again... maybe only 10% of the women who are truly impediment free for marriage (and I know I will still get slammed for this) are getting 90% of all the men's inquiries... and something similar on the men's side... Now my numbers and my reason could be way off,,,,,,OOOOOKKKKKAAAAAYYYY! I really, can't answer that one with any real accuracy, only the site research group could develop something to do so and only approximately... Another theory (actually more like a guess) could be that since the vast majority are full of impediments to marriage, especially on the men's side, those men are here specifically looking for those women who are not 7/7 thus have no problems with contraception and premarital sex (for example, as that seems to be the largest objection to Church teaching) that those 50 some percent are getting all the attention. I think this could well be likely. And if in fact true, one could argue that this site UNWITTINGLY, as much as they are not DIRECTLY encouraging and ARE actually DISCOURAGING sinful behavior, really are providing a vehicle for such persons to meet, even here. It's not even funny how the devil attacks Catholics, is it? I bet that there are plenty of women going after the virginity of young men, and vice versa. Then there are the pretenders for whatever be their fetish... etc.... So now, the most likely answer to you is probably a combination of both of the ones I describe and others... Maybe others have other guesses of why that is.
John, when I use the CM default setting I get 529 men and 869 women on CM, so I don't think that your theory works. When I leave the CM default setting and ONLY change the setting to 7/7 I get 216 men and 356 women. Still more women than men. What is even more interesting is that 40% of men AND 40% of women are 7/7, so only 40% of either sex would be consider "marriage material" by the Catholic Church! Again, your theory doesn't hold true as there are still more women than men on CM. Of course this all changes depending on your demographics. I used my geographic area as a sample in this survey.
Jul 19th 2013 new
Joan, I just tried to redo a bit and I get similar result as you. I can't explain the change. I originally did that 2 months ago, but still... anyway I wouldn't mind digging deeper, but for the next week I don't have the time. I still need to pack for the trip to Seattle tonight, as I have to put in half a day at the office tomorrow. One thing I would suggest you can do is after nailing down the overall ratio, is first isolate each status group first. and remove the "Divorced" category right away, then do the 7/7 for each of the remaining three. After that, I looked at other criteria too. In a nutshell of some 275 women +/- 10 years within my age, 54% just now are divorced, which left some 128 without impediment, and of those only 27 were 7/7 after another check (which I will not disclose) the number fell to 15. So that is it here in Oregon, never mind the temperament comparison, which I think is relevant also. But, I am not discouraged. I don't think God thinks statistically. He can be full of surprises. So now, you can go and have some fun with this numbers thing...
Jul 19th 2013 new
Weddings are now extravaganzas... big business. Couples delay marriage in order to pay for the wedding, in some cases. Its all sooo hyped up, its not just the guy asks his girl , they talk to the parents,and they go get a ring and set a date. The proposal itself is a big event, like maybe on a cruise or something. So getting a ring, proposing and planning a wedding has become a huge expense, as well as an event that requires almost as much preplanning as D Day. Could the way engagements and weddings have become a commercialized 3 ring circus make some couples turn away from marriage?

Im not in favor of the mega wedding with bridezilla walking down the aisle, trailing debts behind her, but the standard of what a normal wedding is has really gotten higher.
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