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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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I'm just beginnig the annulment proceedings. On the forums I came across opinions, that we should not open our hearts to someone who doesn' have one. It may result in bitter dissapointment if two peopple find themslves attracted to each other, but one of them is refused the Annulment by the Church.

I find such statement very true. I don't want to fall in love, and experience the dissapointment of not being granted the annulment. I don't want to create false hopes for any woman that would consider me as potential husband (if that is possible, that is).

Does it really make any sense for someone like me to be a participant on Catholic dating site?





Jul 19th 2013 new
I'm also awaiting the tribunal's decision, but I'm comfortable being on here. It takes a while to get to know a person enough to marry him! I feel fine getting to know the good people on here and forming friendships. I hope to find the right man here, but I'm keeping things light and the men 'at arm's length' until the decision is given -- and then only if my marriage is declared null.
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: I'm also awaiting the tribunal's decision, but I'm comfortable being on here. It takes a while to get to know a person enough to marry him! I feel fine getting to know the good people on here and forming friendships. I hope to find the right man here, but I'm keeping things light and the men 'at arm's length' until the decision is given -- and then only if my marriage is declared null.

Thank you Rachel;
You know, in face of uncertainty like that, one wanders if he or she is setting a trap for yourself or for the other.

God bless you and grant you a chance to be happy again, if marriage is indeed what He has in mind for people like us.






Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: I'm just beginnig the annulment proceedings. On the forums I came across opinions, that we should not open our hearts to someone who doesn' have one. It may result in bitter dissapointment if two peopple find themslves attracted to each other, but one of them is refused the Annulment by the Church.

I find such statement very true. I don't want to fall in love, and experience the dissapointment of not being granted the annulment. I don't want to create false hopes for any woman that would consider me as potential husband (if that is possible, that is).

Does it really make any sense for someone like me to be a participant on Catholic dating site?





I've asked myself the same question, Bohdan, and the answer for me was "yes". When I first joined CM in March I was not clear about the statuses that I could take on this site. So initially I was totally Active and able to show up in searches but could not be sent to any other members as a possible 'match'. I did receive contacts and interacted online with several. My exclusion from matching was based on the fact that I am divorced without the benefit of annulment....yet!! angel

I began my annulment process in February 2013...one month before I signed on with CM. I hoped that while I waited and if I 'met' anyone I would have the strength and willpower to avoid experiences that would lead to disappointment or hurt. Turns out I'm not as tough as I thought I was. ashamed I discovered the Forums and have been more than happy with the education it has and continues to give me. I also discovered that I could make my status to be "Seeking Friendship Only", which I have done, and not show up in any other members' searches. Somebody has to run across me in a Forum or know my member ID in order to access my profile and ultimately contact me. This is a definite protection for me while I continue to wait for the annulment process to follow its course and I can continue to learn from the members on the Forums.

These forums have been an excellent opportunity for me to technically anonymously say what's on my mind among other Catholics and get feedback that has helped. Sometimes I've found that my thinking might be totally off base and other times...right on the mark. I find I have also been able to impart some things that I know may have benefited others!!

So I guess you have to decide exactly what you hope to accomplish by being on CM and then answer for yourself!
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Sheila-953093 said: I've asked myself the same question, Bohdan, and the answer for me was "yes". When I first joined CM in March I was not clear about the statuses that I could take on this site. So initially I was totally Active and able to show up in searches but could not be sent to any other members as a possible 'match'. I did receive contacts and interacted online with several. My exclusion from matching was based on the fact that I am divorced without the benefit of annulment....yet!!

I began my annulment process in February 2013...one month before I signed on with CM. I hoped that while I waited and if I 'met' anyone I would have the strength and willpower to avoid experiences that would lead to disappointment or hurt. Turns out I'm not as tough as I thought I was. I discovered the Forums and have been more than happy with the education it has and continues to give me. I also discovered that I could make my status to be "Seeking Friendship Only", which I have done, and not show up in any other members' searches. Somebody has to run across me in a Forum or know my member ID in order to access my profile and ultimately contact me. This is a definite protection for me while I continue to wait for the annulment process to follow its course and I can continue to learn from the members on the Forums.

These forums have been an excellent opportunity for me to technically anonymously say what's on my mind among other Catholics and get feedback that has helped. Sometimes I've found that my thinking might be totally off base and other times...right on the mark. I find I have also been able to impart some things that I know may have benefited others!!

So I guess you have to decide exactly what you hope to accomplish by being on CM and then answer for yourself!
Thank you Sheila, that is very helpful advice. I'm new to this site, no aware of all the futures available.
In my profile I have set my status a divorced and not available to marry. Is it enough to avoid misleading someone to believe that I'm available to marry, at the same time to let them know that this is my ultimate goal?
Jul 19th 2013 new
We would definitely miss you in the forums! God bless you! I pray it works out well for you!
Jul 19th 2013 new
Yes, you have every right to be here as well, just be very honest and clear, does your profile indicate 'in the midst of the annulment process, just seeking friendship/fellowship' etc....this site has served in so many ways, folks have learned more about their faith, have learned about themselves and what they want, have discerned vocations, have found love and marriage, and yes, hurt and disappointments as well, but....it's also a great place for friendship, fellowship, travel, companionship, entertainment (chat rooms, forums, etc) you get what you put into it, is my favorite philosophy, and always pray for God's will....blessings, hugs and prayers for all who are awaiting that final decree.
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: Thank you Sheila, that is very helpful advice. I'm new to this site, no aware of all the futures available.
In my profile I have set my status a divorced and not available to marry. Is it enough to avoid misleading someone to believe that I'm available to marry, at the same time to let them know that this is my ultimate goal?
Bohdan, I think you've made yourself clear in your profile! Your status is Divorced and you have marked In Process in the Free To Marry spot. That is not a misleading combination. From your profile I would expect that your ultimate goal is to find someone to marry.

I, personally, am not so brave and strong to be anything but Friendship Only until I am, indeed, Free To Marry. To some degree I believe I am unable to expect anything from a potential suitor unless I am Free. If he is Free and I am not, I feel too vulnerable. If he is not Free, either, I am still too vulnerable because what if neither of us receives our annulments and my heart is his?? or his mine?? I'm not judging but only making a judgement for myself. Hopefully, you know yourself enough to know whether you will be so vulnerable, too.
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Trish-977181 said: We would definitely miss you in the forums! God bless you! I pray it works out well for you!
Thank you Trish,
I'm not going anywhere, I'll wait for this bucket list item to happen for you
Jul 19th 2013 new
(quote) Sheila-953093 said: Bohdan, I think you've made yourself clear in your profile! Your status is Divorced and you have marked In Process in the Free To Marry spot. That is not a misleading combination. From your profile I would expect that your ultimate goal is to find someone to marry.

I, personally, am not so brave and strong to be anything but Friendship Only until I am, indeed, Free To Marry. To some degree I believe I am unable to expect anything from a potential suitor unless I am Free. If he is Free and I am not, I feel too vulnerable. If he is not Free, either, I am still too vulnerable because what if neither of us receives our annulments and my heart is his?? or his mine?? I'm not judging but only making a judgement for myself. Hopefully, you know yourself enough to know whether you will be so vulnerable, too.
Thank you Sheila;
I don't think you are not brave, you are a practical Woman, women tend to be this way. I'm a little bit of a dreamer, often hoping against all odds.
You know, in Genesis 2, it is said that "God created Man, Man and Woman he created them". To me this means He created a human being in two parts, man and woman. Therefore man without woman is incomplete, and woman without man is incomplete. Would you agree?

Sometimes I have a feeling God has other plans for me, but if he does, I would try to re-negotiate, so I can have my beloved Father, and my beloved Wife with me wink


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