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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:

When does the fun start..
LOL!
Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Debbie-514749 said: Hi Bodan...

I know I'm not the one you asked but when I joined CM three years ago I was just starting the annulment. It was a very difficult, yet healing process which was completed in nine months.

I was not so smart in my choices though, & briefly dated someone I met on here right away... Total disaster!!! The church is very wise when she asks us to not get involved before the marriage is declared null. I was in no way ready for such a thing & ended up in something even worse than what I had in my marriage.

But God is so very good. I learned an awful lot from that encounter. Thank goodness for confession & the grace to see things more clearly. I learned my lesson & waited till I had the church's nod before getting involved again. Since then, I've met many wonderful people on here... some as just friends and others as possible potentials. I continue to learn a ton of things about men, myself & the wondrous plan Our Lord has laid out for me... It's been quite the adventure.

There is so much on here I've grown from. I praise God for the managers who were inspired to develope the site, & the MANY great people I've met here....


Thank You Debbie, you are very kind.
Especially thank you for sharing your experience with us, it is a valuable lesson to me. It confirms my fears and doubts about participating here.
If you don't mind me asking this question here: when you dated this person, were you in love or were you just hoping that dating may eventually develop in to real love, and by this time the annulment issue will be resolved.

You see, I'm afraid that I could fall in love, simply by noticing someone here, who's personality strongly resonates in my heart, and I realize that she is the one, no one else will do. What do I do then?
Jul 21st 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: I'm just beginnig the annulment proceedings. On the forums I came across opinions, that we should not open our hearts to someone who doesn' have one. It may result in bitter dissapointment if two peopple find themslves attracted to each other, but one of them is refused the Annulment by the Church.

I find such statement very true. I don't want to fall in love, and experience the dissapointment of not being granted the annulment. I don't want to create false hopes for any woman that would consider me as potential husband (if that is possible, that is).

Does it really make any sense for someone like me to be a participant on Catholic dating site?





Yes ,it took about 6months.I got it throught the Ruthenian Catholic Tribunal which has a very small case load.It depends what Diocese you are in and other facts about your case that will determine how long it takes.
Jul 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Bohdan-989259 said: Thank You Debbie, you are very kind.
Especially thank you for sharing your experience with us, it is a valuable lesson to me. It confirms my fears and doubts about participating here.
If you don't mind me asking this question here: when you dated this person, were you in love or were you just hoping that dating may eventually develop in to real love, and by this time the annulment issue will be resolved.

You see, I'm afraid that I could fall in love, simply by noticing someone here, who's personality strongly resonates in my heart, and I realize that she is the one, no one else will do. What do I do then?
TKC!

I guess I'm of the adage that it's possible to "fall in love" with many different people. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that it's possible... but not always the best idea. Through a lot of introspection, study, consultation with my spiritual director, & others I've come to realize that when all consuming passion arises, it's often because that person reminds me in some way of dynamics from my birth family. My counselor friend warned... be aware of the familiar... for good or for ill...

My marriage initially provoked that full blown Hollywood sweep you off your feet romance. I gave it my all yet it still fell apart. This gives me real incentive to learn what motivates me & how to make better choices. Yes...I believe chemistry is VERY important... but reason, friendship, & especially Our Good Lord's guidance need to take precedence. I'm finding it hard... but not impossible to guard my heart & wait for the right person to fall in love with.

Hope this makes some kind of sense...
His Peace... theheart
Jul 23rd 2013 new
You need to heal and be human
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Debbie-514749 said: TKC!

I guess I'm of the adage that it's possible to "fall in love" with many different people. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that it's possible... but not always the best idea. Through a lot of introspection, study, consultation with my spiritual director, & others I've come to realize that when all consuming passion arises, it's often because that person reminds me in some way of dynamics from my birth family. My counselor friend warned... be aware of the familiar... for good or for ill...

My marriage initially provoked that full blown Hollywood sweep you off your feet romance. I gave it my all yet it still fell apart. This gives me real incentive to learn what motivates me & how to make better choices. Yes...I believe chemistry is VERY important... but reason, friendship, & especially Our Good Lord's guidance need to take precedence. I'm finding it hard... but not impossible to guard my heart & wait for the right person to fall in love with.

Hope this makes some kind of sense...
His Peace...
Thank you Debbie;
That is wise advice.
Falling in love is a process, I agree with you.
What if one falls in love with someone who doesn't resemble even remotely, anyone you have ever met.
I see it as a "seed" of true, mature and lasting relation yet to be build all through the life.
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Bernard-2709 said: Yes ,it took about 6months.I got it throught the Ruthenian Catholic Tribunal which has a very small case load.It depends what Diocese you are in and other facts about your case that will determine how long it takes.
Thank you Bernard.
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Bernard-2709 said: I got it through the Ruthenian Catholic Tribunal...
Bernard, is this an Eastern Rite? (Ruthenian)
Jul 26th 2013 new
(quote) Sandra-871852 said: Bernard, is this an Eastern Rite? (Ruthenian)
Hi Sandra.Yes it is Eastern Catholic.
Jul 27th 2013 new
I got my annulment in 1998 after starting it in 1995, a trip of about 3 years. It is painful to relive all of the memories of the "marriage" to complete the questions from the tribunal, but it is well worth it from a healing perspective.

Jesus said in Luke 16:18, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

That being said, from Jesus' perspective, it could be argued that if we divorce our spouse and do not get an annulment, even if we never remarry, do we not force our former spouses to commit adultery? I believe it is better to get an annulment if you have been previously married even if you never again find a match in this life so that you are not subjected to this judgment.

Peace
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