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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

1. You dont have a photo. Sorry if its shallow, but I want to know what you look like before I express interest. Now, if you have a profile that opens with a combination Calvin-Coolidge-Godzilla-Thomas-Aquinas joke, then Ill let the lack of a profile pic slide. The trouble is, without a profile photo I probably wont see it. Please, find a camera and use it; it shouldnt be that hard!

2. You have a photo, but I still have no idea what you look like. Giant sunglasses, pretty scenery, body-paint, ski-masks, and so on all have their place. Their place is not a profile picture on a dating site! Again, I want to know what you look like, not where you vacationed last fall. Im not looking for a date with Mt. Rainier. By all means have pictures showing the fact that youre into African Ceremonial Masks on your profile, but please have at least one photo that shows your undisguised face.

3. If your about me consists of about three sentences. I know, you want to be humble and talking about yourself feels weird. Believe me, I feel the same way. But look; I want to have some idea what kind of person you are before I decide to contact you. A single paragraph of which the only relevant information is Im nice and you can message me doesnt help much. Come on; this is one of the only times you can legitimately show off and talk about yourself without fear of being prideful. Go nuts!

4. If your three-sentence about me consists largely of any of the following information: Your name (I see it right up there under your picture), the fact that you are Catholic (its called CatholicMatch.com. Im going to assume youre Catholic unless you say otherwise, especially since I can also see the I accept all Church teachings icon right below your name), and/or the fact that you love your family (Im happy to hear it, but that doesnt tell me much about you). None of these things are bad to have, but if you have them youd better also have information on your interests, passions, dreams, personality, and so on. I.E. the stuff that isnt already assumed and that might give me an idea of what kind of person you are.

If you clear these hurdles, then were in good old fashioned any common interests/anything that really grabs me? territory.

Im not posting these to be mean or to make fun of anything, but because I really want all my Christian sisters to find the men they deserve and I worry that things like the above are probably hindering you in that regard, so I wanted you to see how things look from the masculine side of the equation. Hope this helps, and feel free to make your own lists!


Jul 31st 2013 new
Hi David,

I appreciate your post. In my profile I felt compelled to put "I am a practicing Catholic".
After all, we cannot assume anything on a Catholic site. And due to some recent experiences I've had with meeting some CM men in person, putting it there seems to be a necessity at this point.

Personally I like when a CM man introduces himself as a "white caucasian male".
smile

Sara









Jul 31st 2013 new
Welcome to the forums, David!

Frankly, I smiled a lot while reading your post. You aren't being mean at all. You found a funny, light-hearted way to remind women what's important to men.

And it works both ways. We see a lot of men in sunglasses and especially baseball caps.

I agree that we're we're on a Catholic site, so there's no need to use every single paragraph talking about being Catholic (like you said, this is Catholicmatch.com) and skipping over your other interests, hobbies, personality and hopes for the future. Then again, I have to say I agree with Sara. I've seen plenty of 7 of 7 profiles, but when I scroll down, it says they seldom attend Mass. It's important to know whether they're a practicing Catholic.

Great post, David! You have a flair for writing and a great sense of humor.
Jul 31st 2013 new
Great observations, David! I'm sure they will help fine tune some profiles!
Jul 31st 2013 new
I enjoyed reading your post too. I woud just add one thing. Men & Women please smile in your profile picture.
If I don't see a smile on a guy it's --- NEXT! biggrin
Jul 31st 2013 new
I enjoyed reading your post too. I woud just add one thing. Men & Women please smile in your profile picture.
If I don't see a smile on a guy it's --- NEXT! biggrin
Jul 31st 2013 new
Excellent post, David. I too like your style and writing voice. I see a match in your near future. biggrin

My personal list . . . I lose interest when...

1. You don't show interest in me.

2. You don't reveal a personal relationship with God and a prayer life.

3. You don't take a reasonable risk or initiate things in life.

4. When you complain, whine, or fail to see the positive in life.

Fortunately, most of these things don't apply to the men of CM that I have met. That means there's a lot around here that can snag my attention. wink


Aug 1st 2013 new
I dislike unexplained babies in pictures. I also dislike pictures that have males about the same age as the woman whose profile I am viewing with no explanation. This does not apply to group shots. There are a few others that I am disinclined to say here.
Aug 2nd 2013 new
Only receive one line emotes or emails telling me nothing about you.
Pictures with frowns or sour expressions or pictures obviously taken in the bathroom by the mirror.
A description that is long but doesn't really say anything about you.
Smoking, heavy drinking and engaging in an unhealthy lifestyle
Aug 2nd 2013 new
(quote) David-978346 said:

1. You dont have a photo. Sorry if its shallow, but I want to know what you look like before I express interest. Now, if you have a profile that opens with a combination Calvin-Coolidge-Godzilla-Thomas-Aquinas joke, then Ill let the lack of a profile pic slide. The trouble is, without a profile photo I probably wont see it. Please, find a camera and use it; it shouldnt be that hard!

2. You have a photo, but I still have no idea what you look like. Giant sunglasses, pretty scenery, body-paint, ski-masks, and so on all have their place. Their place is not a profile picture on a dating site! Again, I want to know what you look like, not where you vacationed last fall. Im not looking for a date with Mt. Rainier. By all means have pictures showing the fact that youre into African Ceremonial Masks on your profile, but please have at least one photo that shows your undisguised face.

3. If your about me consists of about three sentences. I know, you want to be humble and talking about yourself feels weird. Believe me, I feel the same way. But look; I want to have some idea what kind of person you are before I decide to contact you. A single paragraph of which the only relevant information is Im nice and you can message me doesnt help much. Come on; this is one of the only times you can legitimately show off and talk about yourself without fear of being prideful. Go nuts!

4. If your three-sentence about me consists largely of any of the following information: Your name (I see it right up there under your picture), the fact that you are Catholic (its called CatholicMatch.com. Im going to assume youre Catholic unless you say otherwise, especially since I can also see the I accept all Church teachings icon right below your name), and/or the fact that you love your family (Im happy to hear it, but that doesnt tell me much about you). None of these things are bad to have, but if you have them youd better also have information on your interests, passions, dreams, personality, and so on. I.E. the stuff that isnt already assumed and that might give me an idea of what kind of person you are.

If you clear these hurdles, then were in good old fashioned any common interests/anything that really grabs me? territory.

Im not posting these to be mean or to make fun of anything, but because I really want all my Christian sisters to find the men they deserve and I worry that things like the above are probably hindering you in that regard, so I wanted you to see how things look from the masculine side of the equation. Hope this helps, and feel free to make your own lists!


clap Well put, David! Not only are those informative, but humorous as well. 20-something CM ladies, he has a sense of humor and he's here at CM.

I might add that a lady might want to elaborate a little in her profile, especially in the interests area. Can't tell you how many profiles I've read that say only "I like dramas and comedies." Well, that certainly narrows it down. laughing Maybe you could list some specific examples. I was drawn to one CM lady's profile because one of her favorite movies was one of mine as well. We definitely bonded over that movie and some of our other common interests. Ladies that don't include examples in their profile don't give us guys much to work with, especially when sending that first contact e-mail. If you put in a tiny bit of extra effort in writing your profile, ladies, it might just pay off.

God Bless,
Steve
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