Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
I was stuck on that one question.. do you prefer kisses or gifts.. what? I can't have them both?!?!
What a great question! I've really had to learn to pay attention to my kids' needs so they know they are loved.
The book and the quiz was originally written by Chapman (a protestant minister and licensed counselor, if my memory serves me correctly) for married couples who were experiencing major relationship difficulties within their non-Catholic marriage. As such, the quiz gives some insight into where one spouse is on one or more tracks of physical/material/behavioral need and the other is on a complete or categorical set of needs but still limited only to physical/material/behavioral or sensitive aspects. The book and quiz are limited in scope and completely ignore two other major categories (intellectual and spiritual). Imagine: two ships in a fog, passing by one another, neither being satisfied by the material world yet only looking for solutions within it. Thus it reveals and can be useful to attempt to remedy the disparity or lack of material or sensitive needs between the two spouses, but that is it. Of course, this is of some help only if BOTH still want to make the marriage work through that restricted means.
Make no mistake, this test completely overlooks the intellectual and the spiritual aspects that are also each an essential part of a sacramental marriage instituted by Christ.
2. For this quiz to be more effective, it also really requires one to have a partner in mind and also expand into the intellectual and spiritual realm, because it depends how the other treats you AND whether God is also involved. Without that being the case (three to get married), the never before married person. the divorced or annulled or the widow(er) may reveal some personal desires (vanities), but those may change once in a relationship, depending on the other person and the reception or rejection of either or both as to God's will, and what they offer and what they are not aware of. Vanity can be extremely dangerous to the body, mind and soul where God is on the sideline.
3. The results tend to shift between three persons based on material/sensitive actions or lack thereof over time, specifically due to that which is lacking most.
Communicating to your partner what you need is critical. Neither should expect the other to read their mind. Neither should walk. Neither should brush God's will aside.
The imbalance manifests itself when one or more types clearly dominates over the others.
With a person who has no partner, the quiz outcome tends to reflect the deep and still unfulfilled desire idealized or which in limited cases the other spouse left deficient or let go neglected and it remains an area of need or desire.
So that's my take on that quiz and the book.