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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Hi all wave ,

I wanted to get some opinions about dating coworkers. My philosophy has always been, no. It can get complicated and weird if things don't work out. It can also be difficult for team members to adjust to the happy couple. Reputations can suffer.

Example: there is a couple (neither is Catholic) where I work who were married to other people when they met. Um, they met here and long (and sordid) story short...they are now divorced from their former spouses and living together. Awkward for many folk, especially her former sister-in-law who also works here. It's been a year now and I think that has helped ease some initial tensions. (However, fun fact: we keep a company Facebook page and you can see them with their former spouses at company events!)

They are both excellent professionals but it seems that, with few exceptions, this is all anyone can see when they think of them.

Conversely, there are several happily married couples here! I was very surprised to see that. Some met here, others elsewhere and then came to work here. The company has no policy prohibiting this and in fact definitely seems to encourage people to fraternize (not necessarily meaning to date but to develop relationships). Personally I've developed some great friendships already!

In any case, I am new to the area, and as I have begun to move in my environment and Catholic circles, talk about my faith at work etc. I have met some Christians and Catholics (in different stages of their faith) at work. There are a couple of gentlemen here who have circled so to speak but held back as I have mentioned my personal "don't date at work" philosophy.

What do you think? Am I missing opportunities? Or should I follow my philosophy and prevent, at the very least, awkward elevator moments later**?

In Christ,
Leyden

**Seriously, it's like the darn thing can't move slow enough when you are trapped in an uncomfortable situation.
Aug 9th 2013 new
(quote) Leyden-904885 said: Hi all ,
I wanted to get some opinions about dating coworkers. My philosophy has always been, no. It can get complicated and weird if things don't work out. It can also be difficult for team members to adjust to the happy couple. Reputations can suffer.
Example: there is a couple (neither is Catholic) where I work who were married to other people when they met. Um, they met here and long (and sordid) story short...they are now divorced from their former spouses and living together. Awkward for many folk, especially her former sister-in-law who also works here. It's been a year now and I think that has helped ease some initial tensions. (However, fun fact: we keep a company Facebook page and you can see them with their former spouses at company events!)
They are both excellent professionals but it seems that, with few exceptions, this is all anyone can see when they think of them.
Conversely, there are several happily married couples here! I was very surprised to see that. Some met here, others elsewhere and then came to work here. The company has no policy prohibiting this and in fact definitely seems to encourage people to fraternize (not necessarily meaning to date but to develop relationships). Personally I've developed some great friendships already!
In any case, I am new to the area, and as I have begun to move in my environment and Catholic circles, talk about my faith at work etc. I have met some Christians and Catholics (in different stages of their faith) at work. There are a couple of gentlemen here who have circled so to speak but held back as I have mentioned my personal "don't date at work" philosophy.
What do you think? Am I missing opportunities? Or should I follow my philosophy and prevent, at the very least, awkward elevator moments later**?
In Christ,Leyden
**Seriously, it's like the darn thing can't move slow enough when you are trapped in an uncomfortable situation.

Since my co-workers are mostly women and gay men- NO!!!

But my philosophy on dating a coworker is if you know him (or her) very well and knew you would be compatible, I would definitely take a chance on love. I wouldn't pass up an opportunity. I could always find another job...but a good man...not so easy.


Aug 9th 2013 new
NO! ! !
very unprofessional under every circumstance in my book!
Aug 9th 2013 new
The general rule of thumb is "Don't". Such a rule will certainly prevent awkward elevator moments. This is especially applicable where one of the parties may not have a fully-developed appreciation for moral conduct. And don't forget, companies appreciate trouble-free employees.

That said, I have seen fully-Catholic individuals meet, date, and marry while working for the same company. They had the advantage of a VERY strong (i.e., fully Catholic) moral framework, so they knew the appropriate way to conduct themselves, the appropriate dating boundaries, etc.

And having worked together for some time, they had the additional advantage of extended observation of each other in close quarters. They were able to assure themselves that latent problems would not be an issue before they began dating.



___________________
two cents - On a good day
Aug 9th 2013 new
I had a "no dating at work" policy for myself all of my work years. Now that I'm retired, I'm very happy I had that policy because some of my friends regret dating at work.
Aug 9th 2013 new
No dating coworkers...it is awkward after the breakup for not only the daters but the coworkers as well.

I am a nurse and married my patient. As you can see I am on CM, that didn't end well and it began with the dynamics not the hypodermics! It is something about the need to nurture but also the dependency.
Just my two cents....

Eileen
Aug 10th 2013 new
When I got out of the Navy my Mom told me about someone who worked in my workplace though in another department we started dating and after 7 months things ended. It was very awkward to say the least but I did not have to see her all that much as she worked in a different area. NO don't date a coworker.
Aug 10th 2013 new
No way! Unless you can get him to sign a pre-date contract that if it doesn't work out between us, he'd resign from the company. smile
Aug 10th 2013 new
No as I work with all women except on man. I guess not! scratchchin rolling eyes
I have worked at other places and I also would not work and date at the same place.
Aug 10th 2013 new
(quote) Laura-857740 said: No way! Unless you can get him to sign a pre-date contract that if it doesn't work out between us, he'd resign from the company.
lol......a hundred years ago when I took students at a local hospital,
I wanted to date my student....
[close to my age as I was young once...... believe it or not].....
it never happened but it was tempting as he would be gone
in four weeks so the coworker thingie wouldn't apply
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