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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Where's the picture?

Aug 14th 2013 new
Hi everyone, can someone explain why a person would choose not to put a picture on their profile, on a dating website? Many men and women have stated that there must be an attraction. Seems only fair to place a picture on your profile then. When I don't see one, the first things I feel are: 1. They must be very unattractive (according to their own self analysis), 2. Their hiding something...like they're really not divorced yet and they don't want to be seen by people who may recognize them. I do not buy into the fact you need to get to know my personality first, instead of judging me for my looks. Dating does not work that way...when you see someone for the first time, it is the initial attraction that brings you over to them and begin a conversation with them. I have talked with several men without profiles and have gotten along well with them, but once I finally see a picture, I find that I am not attracted to them. Attraction cannot be manufactured, it's there to its not. (With a few exceptions I'm sure). So why not have a profile picture? What's your thoughts?
Aug 14th 2013 new
I don't understand it either Laura. When I see a match with no picture - I just keep walking...
I think people are afraid to post a picture for the reasons you gave, but also because they could be shy.
On a dating site tho, no picture is a deal breaker for me and most others, I would think.
I think it should be a pre-requisite.
Aug 14th 2013 new

I know when I first started dabbling in internet dating sites, EH to be exact, I was very concerned about the security of my pictures. Our pictures are not secure by any means from being copied and kept by any sick individuals who can do whatever they want with them online. It's something to think about in this age where there are inappropriate pictures all over the internet. And lets not even think about facial recognition technology too much because if I do I'll take all my pictures down. My best friend checked a website (as a non member) specializing in finding people and when she searched her own name she found pictures of herself, AND HER CHILDREN, on it. They wanted her to subscribe, and of course pay a subscription fee, to take her own pictures down.

It took me a while to deal with my concerns, be more trusting, and post some pictures.

At this point, I keep myself from worrying by telling myself over and over "Jo, you don't have the youth or the body anyone shady would want to use for inappropriate purposes on line" laughing


Aug 14th 2013 new
(quote) Laura-857740 said: Hi everyone, can someone explain why a person would choose not to put a picture on their profile, on a dating website? Many men and women have stated that there must be an attraction. Seems only fair to place a picture on your profile then. When I don't see one, the first things I feel are: 1. They must be very unattractive (according to their own self analysis), 2. Their hiding something...like they're really not divorced yet and they don't want to be seen by people who may recognize them. I do not buy into the fact you need to get to know my personality first, instead of judging me for my looks. Dating does not work that way...when you see someone for the first time, it is the initial attraction that brings you over to them and begin a conversation with them. I have talked with several men without profiles and have gotten along well with them, but once I finally see a picture, I find that I am not attracted to them. Attraction cannot be manufactured, it's there to its not. (With a few exceptions I'm sure). So why not have a profile picture? What's your thoughts?
Laura , ido agree with your thoughts and its not good or fair at all! i think its high time CatholicMatch makes it a rule that your profile will not be approved if you dont have a photo.

I dont respond to such people or even view their profiles, i tend to think they are bad people and their motives are bad!
Aug 14th 2013 new
I understand Jo. I would be more worried about the security of having your credit card number out there when you paid for a subscription, than your picture. Financial info scares me the most.
Aug 14th 2013 new
(quote) Laura-857740 said: I understand Jo. I would be more worried about the security of having your credit card number out there when you paid for a subscription, than your picture. Financial info scares me the most.

Oh yeah. I worry about that also. I only buy from sites I trust. But who knows. Sometimes, I buy myself a bank gift card for a couple of hundred dollars and use that up for online purchases, so I don't have to give anyone my credit card information. I guess I won't go broke or have my credit affected if they steal the money from a gift card. I haven't had a problem with that yet.


Aug 14th 2013 new
Keep in mind that some credit card companies such as Citibank provide the ability for its members to use "virtual account numbers" that are generated on a per basis need. It will generate a number, exp date, and code for you for one time use, or multiple uses within a very short expiration window if you would like.

This can save you the often $5 service fee from buying a visa or amex gift card, and you get the security of it not being your real account number. There is the down side of all of the other pitfalls of credit cards, but if you're credit card provider already provides the virtual account number feature - it is something you may find useful.

As far as the no picture in their profile, if it shows up in a "match" i assume it is because they are a new user and want to check out the site before people check them out so to say. I mark the match as uncertain - assuming they might update the profile in a week or so - if not i just mark the match as a no.

If it is in a search as opposed to a match, well I set the profile/pictures option so no profiles without a picture show up in the search results.

Keep in mind, as i witnessed last week face to face, just because they have a picture does not mean it is current. The one I met - i would say the picture was taken about 10 years ago. Thankfully the person I was attempting to meet had a name tag on because with her one foot in front of me I could not recognize her from her photo that she posted here. I took it as an immediate "red flag" as people like to term it i guess, spent onlky a few minutes meeting the person, politely offered to allow her to get back to her work, and went my separate way.

Have not figured out a polite way as of yet to stop the person from messaging me each day since the face to face though last week.
Aug 14th 2013 new

Thanks for the "virtual account numbers" info. I don't bank with citibank, but I will open up an account with them if my bank doesn't offer this service.

I'm sorry you had that experience last week. I do prefer to skype at least once before a f2f so I can avoid just that situation. If they refuse it's also a kind of red flag. Skype is free, and if I can do it, anyone can. You can create an account without revealing your personal information.




Aug 14th 2013 new
Thanks - this meeting was literally a block away from my house, I walked through my back yard and across the street to get there. I approached thee whole thing as being neighborly, and had told her I would drop by to say hello after work which I did. So I went with really no expectations other than meeting a neighbor, it was the age difference between the photo and the person I actually met that was the surprise.
Aug 14th 2013 new
(quote) Dave-976637 said: Thanks - this meeting was literally a block away from my house, I walked through my back yard and across the street to get there. I approached thee whole thing as being neighborly, and had told her I would drop by to say hello after work which I did. So I went with really no expectations other than meeting a neighbor, it was the age difference between the photo and the person I actually met that was the surprise.

Oh. I hope she doesn't know where you live. laughing eyepopping shhh


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