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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

"BAGGAGE" children

Aug 13th 2013 new
I have read a lot comments on CM since I have joined about children being"BAGGAGE". Get a grip on life people, children are not baggage as if to put in the hold of an aircarf or the upper bin etc, they are a human being with a soul and want to be loved and cared for. Children are our byproduct of good life we once had, we the "PARENTS" failed them, they did not fail us. Jamie Lee Curtis had the perfect saying, " a child is like a camera becareful on what you do because the will try to imatate you" The quote may not be exact, but it is close. Don't get me wrong, I have looked at the issue of a future spouse's children, if still home. Would I be good enough for them to understand to I amnot their father but maybe a friend to help, could I deal with disabilities and still keep an open mind of what I am getting into. These are normal human feelings and thoughts that everybody needs to condsider. Believe it or not folks, their are the next generation. Something else to think about, when we get older and need their help, will they help you or just throw you away like we did to them. Something for everybody of every age on CM to consider.
Aug 13th 2013 new
Kevin

What a great thread. I aplaude you.

When I met My Wife Connie and married her in just 5 weeks, she brought 2 girls to the marriage. Connie was 11 years younger than I. I told her that I am not going to marry a Step-Wife therefore I will never have any Step-Children. They would be mine from the get-go.

They are my daughters and I will love them no less than those from my loin. We were married for 35 years before Cancer took her. You can see the photos of those beautiful girls in my album who always call me Dad unless they are not happy with me then it might be SOB. The point is they were integrated into our family unit as one with all. No division. That marriage brought my family to 7 daughters and 2 of the other kind.

When I married Valerie after 7 months she also gave me two more daughters and one of the other kind. That gives me a total of one dozen. Pretty nice I think.

Marriage takes work and most of all it takes LOVE and dedication. It is giving not taking.

I have been so very blessed, and as a side note Valerie 16 years my junior and myself talked of what our children might look like. We decided that we probably would have to adopt. .I have been there and done that. BTW both women Connie and Valerie pursued me I got smart and let them win.

Gods love to all

Philip








Aug 14th 2013 new
Beautifully stated, Kevin.
Aug 14th 2013 new
I agree! Children are certainly NOT baggage! I was so worried that another man would walk out of their lives, that I would not let any man near me, let alone my children! Thank goodness both of my kids had excellent role models in my Dad and 4 brothers! They taught my kids that parents should not treat them as "out of sight-out of mind" responsibilities. I would welcome the opportunity of becoming a female mentor and friend to some children. I would be a "mom" but not attempt to takeover the place of mother unless it was truly what was asked of me. I suppose that is because I never believed I needed to bear a child in order to love it!
Aug 14th 2013 new
I love children. I have my own dear son who is 13, who recently lost his dad (my late husband) to death, and two grown boys, and I would be welcome to anyone else with children as well. Those who see children as "baggage" or feel negatively towards them because they aren't "theirs", well, I can see it perhaps in very young couples, but once you are older and have a likelihood of previous relationships and children in the picture, it's wise to remain open minded.
Aug 14th 2013 new
Thanks. You get a Gold Star!

So sad to hear that potential Catholic parents are making those statements.Is there much difference from those who want to abort or clone because it's not the right time or not perfect? scratchchin

Children are gifts from God.There is no surety or perfect person.One might even react differently to the same circumstances .No one is perfect not even us adults.

We are called to work with God for his honour and glory. : theheart theheart theheart theheart
Aug 15th 2013 new
Kevin, thanks for this thread. When I think of these situations several thoughts come to my mind. First, scripture calls society to care for our widows and orphans. In today's society that means being willing to put aside our pursuits of happiness, success, sports, fitness, etc and be willing to be role models, mentors, and even step-parents to these children. Second, I have mentioned in a previous thread about JPII the Great's "Gospel Of Life," his 1985 encyclical. He speaks of the special charism of those that are willing and able to accept adopted and step- children into their lives. It is another way of laying one's life down for the other. Thanks again.
Aug 15th 2013 new
(quote) Kevin-975826 said: Something else to think about, when we get older and need their help, will they help you or just throw you away like we did to them. Something for everybody of every age on CM to consider.
Be kind to your child/ children because if you have to go there, they will select your nursing home.
Aug 15th 2013 new
Frankly it drives me crazy when I hear comments about children as if they were "a duty', not a blessing, like a couple having kids because they are nagged into, or when kids come with price tags, the complaining makes the children sound like they are a nuisance. Check I wish I had the opportunity to be a parent.
Aug 15th 2013 new
(quote) Bob-59786 said: Be kind to your child/ children because if you have to go there, they will select your nursing home.
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