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Singles discussion related to wedding planning, engagement, and married life should be posted in this room.

Saint Valentine is patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.
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Friends

Aug 13th 2013 new
Can I still have female friends?
I met the woman that I want to eventually settle down with, but she wants me to tell all my female friends good bye. Why?? I would never ask her to do that.Trust is the foundation for any relationship.They have been my friends and thats ALL from 2 to 15 years, some are even married or about to be married. I can't believe I am being put in this position. What do you think?
Aug 13th 2013 new
Joe, If the female friends were once romantic interests, then she has a point. It is not worth risking possibly re-lighting what has died out. However, if there was never more there just friendships before, then she is over-reacting. If she can't trust you in that regard, you are better off keeping your friends and moving on. There are few things worse that being with a woman that is not secure with herself and her man. But that also means that you better be treating other female friends as nothing more... not even flirting with them... because if you do, then the problem is your behavior.
Aug 13th 2013 new
Well Joe this is a touchy subject, depends on who you talk to. If you have female friends that are just friends ~ no romance past and as long as you don't confide in them more than your girlfriend - to be spouse, then I don't see anything wrong with that at all. I have had male friends all my life and have had no issues. As long as you are completely devoted to your spouse and put them first, then it shouldn't be a problem. Although, if there is more of a relationship with those women than your own girlfriend - to be spouse, then there is something wrong in your relationship. Your spouse always comes first. lovestruck! Blinded by love heart
Aug 13th 2013 new
If these women have only been your friends for 2 to 15 years, then yes, you will need to discontinue the relationships. IF they had been your friend for 50 years, then it would be different, as they would be closer to "childhood friends", which are in a completely different category.
Aug 13th 2013 new
I will go on a limb here as I have male friends
......associates really .......and our relationships
would never be any threat to my possible
marriage relationship.....it would obviously
be totally ''talked about'' and a trust relationship
would be essential to take that big step
Aug 13th 2013 new
Here's a great discussion about having private friends of the opposite gender when in a serious relationship/marriage

www.catholicmatch.com
Aug 14th 2013 new
That is a difficult question and the answer depends on how close you are to these female friends. Are they women you work with ? Casual friends? Or are they female friends you do things with, spend time with, or confide in? When you get married your wife comes first and she should be the one you confide in, spend time with, and do things with. So it all depends on how close these female friends are as to whether you should continue your relationship with them. That is something you will have to decide.
Aug 14th 2013 new
Joe, I know many men that I consider friends and I would never dream of "giving up" my friends, nor would I request or expect a potential mate to reciprocate with his female friends. I agreee with most of the thoughts and ideas expressed tonight on this thread. I agree that continuing relationships (even if "just friends") with women that you have had former romantic interests in are no-no's, and putting the energy, intimacy and confidences into other women is a big no-no if you ever plan to have a truly "mutually exclusive" relationship based on trust and honesty with a spouse or future spouse.

Honestly, I would be completely comfortable introducing any of my male friends to any potential spouse of mine. If my potential spouse became friends with any of those men it would be great. I would hope that you have the same level of transparency with this woman that you are interested in.
Aug 15th 2013 new
I think if a guy has a couple of close female friends and the lady he is dating doesn't seem to care or mind at all - she's just not that into him. My 2 pennies.
Aug 15th 2013 new
(quote) Julie-42315 said: I think if a guy has a couple of close female friends and the lady he is dating doesn't seem to care or mind at all - she's just not that into him. My 2 pennies.
Possibly, but not necessarily always true. Some have full knowledge, see no threat to the relationship and continue to trust the man to keep it that way.

As a relationship develops exclusively between a man and a woman, there needs to be a full unfolding of each individual's life to the other. It is up to each to decide how to proceed (hopefully with God, front and center).
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