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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah


I'm really not to sure,,,so I ask....

It seems that we have basically 3 types of folks here the way the site exists....
"" Never Marrieds"",,,,,,""Divorced/Annuled"",,,,,""Widow/Widower""........

I never knew before I had decided to possibly seek another Sweetheart,, that there even existed differences between the groups...
I see from reading the forums for a few months that ideas,,ideals,,feelings,, and perspectives on many topics do vary depending on which group you belong to...

And this isn't all the time on everything,,but it is visible at times..
I believe all 3 groups contain beautiful people inside and out and everyone's views and opinions are very valid ...Valid to many and very much to the one holding their own personal views...


To speak or address any of the groups may seem insensitive and harsh,,especially in printed word format,,so that is not the purpose...

Nothing is ever set in stone,,but for me,,,I feel the best possible potential Sweetheart would be from the widow/widower group since I too am a widower and can relate and their would be a comfort zone....

To those of you who are Never Marrieds,,,Divorced/Annuled,,,,,Widow/Widowers,,,,do you ever contemplate which group may be more suited for you to attempt to engage in a possible Sweetheart relationship..??
And Why please..??..Maybe differing views from you all would help educate all of us and possibly bring all of us closer to finding a forever bestest friend Sweetheart....
Thanks..
Aug 14th 2013 new
I was on this site before........and like now was only viewed by men as old as my dad
[except a handful of friendly folks like you folks in forums and chat this time]

this time.......I feel more ready with theology studies under my belt
[in my ''me time'' between mental health child emergencies]

I do feel I may be ''too busy'' for most men.......my feeling about
your 3 categories would have to include that I should be with
guys that have kids.
Aug 14th 2013 new
I look at it as Free to Marry in the Catholic Church, or not. I'm Free to Marry in the Catholic Church (Annulled), so I can consider Never Marrieds, Annulled, and Widowed, and vice versa. I've been Single much longer than I've been Married or in Long Term Relationships, though I have been in a relationship over ten years. I really don't want to categorize either the man or myself. My main criteria is to find a man who can talk about something other than his ex-wife, deceased wife, etc., one who has gone FORWARD, to be honest with you. He will definitely need to understand teenagers! wink laughing
Aug 15th 2013 new
I really don't feel status matters as long as they are free to marry in the church. That is the big one. Sure, the death of a spouse would be one thing in common and a very big thing at that but everyone by a certain age has experienced a significant loss by death. For some, death of a parent or child can have more impact than death of a spouse. Not everyone's marriage was a happy as your seems to have been. Also, in some cases like mine the spouse's death took place after divorce. That wouldn't show up on the profile. The impact of that situation would be less, sadness and grief for what might have been and never was, but not utter devastation. What I am trying to say is every case is different so please give people a chance.
Aug 16th 2013 new
Karen, Thanks for your input. You are right!
Aug 18th 2013 new
(quote) Kenny-949632 said:
I'm really not to sure,,,so I ask....

It seems that we have basically 3 types of folks here the way the site exists....
"" Never Marrieds"",,,,,,""Divorced/Annuled"",,,,,""Widow/Widower""........

I never knew before I had decided to possibly seek another Sweetheart,, that there even existed differences between the groups...
I see from reading the forums for a few months that ideas,,ideals,,feelings,, and perspectives on many topics do vary depending on which group you belong to...

And this isn't all the time on everything,,but it is visible at times..
I believe all 3 groups contain beautiful people inside and out and everyone's views and opinions are very valid ...Valid to many and very much to the one holding their own personal views...


To speak or address any of the groups may seem insensitive and harsh,,especially in printed word format,,so that is not the purpose...

Nothing is ever set in stone,,but for me,,,I feel the best possible potential Sweetheart would be from the widow/widower group since I too am a widower and can relate and their would be a comfort zone....

To those of you who are Never Marrieds,,,Divorced/Annuled,,,,,Widow/Widowers,,,,do you ever contemplate which group may be more suited for you to attempt to engage in a possible Sweetheart relationship..??
And Why please..??..Maybe differing views from you all would help educate all of us and possibly bring all of us closer to finding a forever bestest friend Sweetheart....
Thanks..
Thanks for the question Kenny. Wow this is a hard one.

My own father passed away in 1996 at the age of 63. He truly was the most decent, fun, wonderful, and gracious person I ever knew. My mom has never remarried. I think because she already had 'the best' and any other person simply could not live up to the love and wonderful life she had with him.

This would not be fair to who ever stepped into the 'role' of my father. That person would deserve to be valued for what they bring and who they are....they deserve MORE than to be just someone for my mom to pass time with until she dies to avoid loneliness. And so I think for all concerned she made this decision.

It sounds to me like your own situation is similar in that you had a beloved person and relationship. You and all other widow/ers have my profound sympathies. You were very blessed indeed.

I know all situations are different, however, and not all marriages were good ones. However, assuming it was a good marriage, I don't think I would want to be the replacement to a widower for the ressons above. I want to be someone's first or best choice, although that time has passed due to my age, and this is now unlikely to happen. I don't want to be what someone( unintentionally) picks because they don't want to be alone and 'Trish will do".

Someone who has been divorced;/,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,also hard. First ans foremost he needs to be annulled.

Was he the one that cheated on his wife; abuse her, verbally(just examples)? Don't call me. I know situaltions are not that clear cut and tend to be much more complicated, and it takes two to screw up the marriage, but I seem to secretly want the detail so I can make an informed choice to marry again with a divorced man, ( as I'm sure he would want those details from me ). I feel the worst thing that could happen is to marry another 'mistake' and TOTALLY waste my WHOLE life ( in terms of love to a spouse), instead of only half of it, t which is where i stand now. I need to be, and hope to be open to hearing the details, and feeling
God's call here.

Someone never married............by age 50.........hmmm..............I know not always fair, but begs the questions 'why not?" Could be a huge red flad, but again maybe not. Could be as simple as truly not meeting the right person. I would have to hear the details. I would be open......

I have been brutally honest here, saying what I feel many people think but would not mention because as you say, it may be unkind or not entirely PC. .I hope all you reading are equally kind in hearing what few might actually have the courage to say; unmentioned but (possibly) common thoughts.

I suspect this is what you were wondering when you asked the question, and the responders so far are kind and fair-minded people and so have answered in the politically correct way......and my intellectual answer would normally be the same : to be open to all people at God's leading...........and so the final answer to your question is that I am trying to allow for all the things I have not considered, all the presumptions I am making, and to allow God to work.




Aug 18th 2013 new


Tricia,,

you stated all and/or many of my thoughts and feelings,,,but you stated them in such kind warm words,,thank you....

My Dear,,,,have you not eliminated all groups due to the possible negativity that may accompany each group..?

So what is the alternative for the widow/widower,,,,,to not be loved because a potential Sweetheart may feel that he/she will never be as good as the deceased spouse..???

Should the divorced/annuled never trust again for fear that there may be a potential mate male/female that would want to cheat or be abusive again...??

Should the never married and over 50+ just give up and figure their selectivity will never come to a positive fruition of a Sweetheart..??

I don't have the answers either....That is why I affectionately say that I'm not smart enough to figure everything out and I just want/need/desire simple.....

When i met my wife we had no idea if it would work,,but we both had parents that were never divorced and we said that life can throw a lot of curve balls and would we accept them and keep loving,,,we both said yes,,,,

As part of our marriage vows we included The Beatitudes,,the blueprint of Jesus for life....Sure there were ups and downs,,thankfully mostly ups..

To quote an old song,,and I'm an old guy,,,,
"""" If you believe in forever,,,then life is just a one night stand """"...I'd love to meet St. Peter with all my Sweethearts arm in arm,,my wife,,my Mom,,my sisters,,and maybe a future wife if God allows a Bozo like me another blessing..
Aug 18th 2013 new
Aug 18th 2013 new
Kenny, you are absolutely right and in line with my own thinking........and therein lies my hope. Because what is the alternative? Life is full of risk.

But I cant tell you the anguish and the heartache that the 'fact' of this situation brings. My dream in life was to be someone's most perfect choice (for them). Don't we all desire this?

And to know I am relegated to being a loneliness fill in, a "next in line" , a "im 50 and better get on the stick' choice is a personal heartbreak for me as I really grew up feeling deserving of so much more. (can you believe the audacity of that!) I dont mean to be u=nhumble.....because we ALL do deserve this!

I was raised with 2 wonderful parents who were only (normally) disfunctional, loved each other and had a faith filled marriage. This was truly my blessing as a child, but also my curse. I expected to have a somewhat similar life experience. And it was not to be.

The fact is we live in a fallen word, and I am part of it.....and my dream is not my reality, and I have to continue in coming to grips with that fact.

Thank you for the kind, (and true ) response.


Aug 18th 2013 new



Tricia,,

There are some goog guys out there.....Not many,,but some......When you meet your kind Sweetheart,,,,, all of your words,,your doubts,,and your insecurities will just evaporate..That is what real love does...

It takes all the baloney and throws it out the window..Then groups,,words,,stereotypes,,,,they all don't mean squat....
As a society we are so used to analyzing everything...In love it is not analyzing,,but feelings,,emotions,,,,
SINGING IN THE RAIN type os love feelings in NOT analytical but EMOTIONAL....

Write down all the things you are seeking in a relationship,,then write down all your need/desires/wants.....Then write down all the possible things that can go wrong in the relationship because of this and that....

Fill up at least 10 pages with this information Tricia....
Then take the ten pages and fold them,,,then fold them again,,then ripp them into little pieces and flush them all down the toilet bowl,,,because my Dear Tricia,,when you heart fills with bestest friend forever Sweetheart love,,all those things you listed don't mean NUTTIN..!!!!
You-me-we will eventually need to trust..trust your Sweetheart..Trust God and even trust yourself...

Due to the length of this lecture my fee has increased to $8........
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