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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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seriously???

Aug 30th 2013 new
I was talking on facebook about going kayaking with my girls and invited anyone interested in my area that we are friends with to also rent a kayak this Sunday afternoon and come along.
A man who I know slightly from church and daily Mass and so is on my friend list (just recently he asked to be fb friends and I foolishly, it turns out, agreed) but seems to be very interested in me said he wants to go but wants me to do all the paddling for him. I told him no way, that's no fair! and that he would be in his own kayak so that just can't work. He then told me, no way, we would be going in a tandem kayak, and his 'wife-to-be' would do all the paddling!! I said, "Good luck with that! You are supposed to be the man!"
So, am I way off base with my thoughts??
What would you do or suggest I do?
Just treat it like he's joking?
Un-friend him??
Ever since he and I became fb friends he daily chats a bit every morning -- or leaves 'good morning, how is your day dear?' type messages for me to find when I get on.
I thought he was married and am not interested, but I guess I was wrong and he's thinking me friending him is more than I assumed!
Men -- your thoughts, please??
Aug 30th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: I thought he was married and am not interested, but I guess I was wrong and he's thinking me friending him is more than I assumed!
Men -- your thoughts, please??
Just my .02.. If you're not interested Romantically and just want to be friends.. i would just say it to him exactly like that...no need to beat around the bush. After that and depending on how things progress is whether i would remain friends on FB or not. scratchchin Praying
Aug 30th 2013 new
Other than calling me 'dear' which I thought was just his brand of friendliness, I never even thought he was anything other than being casually friendly, so I never had reason to 'define' our relationship as more than that in my mind much less outloud to him!
We have only exchanged 'hello' outside of fb -- I'm afraid he is one of those people who imagine much more to a relationship than there actually is, attaching big meanings to anything at all!
I don't really know how to do this!
Aug 30th 2013 new
oh, and when I said no to doing all the paddling for him, and that he was to be the man, he said that that was the proper way for the man to be treated and to do things his way. I responded that we were going to be renting kayaks from RnR and he could rent his own and come along if he wanted as it was up to each person to plan for themselves.
Aug 30th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: oh, and when I said no to doing all the paddling for him, and that he was to be the man, he said that that was the proper way for the man to be treated and to do things his way. I responded that we were going to be renting kayaks from RnR and he could rent his own and come along if he wanted as it was up to each person to plan for themselves.
Did these exchanges occur verbally or on via FB/email? Hopefully, he was just trying to be funny, although you should have known each other better before he tried something like this.

If not, you duck BIG time!

Aug 30th 2013 new
Only on fb by chat.
He went to school w/my oldest brother -- I thought he was a 'safe, godly' friend!
He is revealing his intentions quite suddenly and surprisingly!
Aug 30th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Only on fb by chat.
He went to school w/my oldest brother -- I thought he was a 'safe, godly' friend!
He is revealing his intentions quite suddenly and surprisingly!
It COULD be he was just trying to be funny by being over-the-top -- something that is difficult to pull off in writing unless the two people know each other well.
Aug 30th 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: It COULD be he was just trying to be funny by being over-the-top -- something that is difficult to pull off in writing unless the two people know each other well.
Another thought -- since he went to school with your brother, perhaps he is assuming a higher level of familiarity, based on the length of time he's known you, than would be appropriate.

If you are potentially interested, maybe it would be best to spend some time getting to know him in person, where it should be more obvious if exchanges like this are serious or an attempt at humor.

Aug 30th 2013 new
He sounds like a weirdo to me, first off with his comment about his "wife to be" and with the Facebook chats. I don't have a Facebook page so I don't know the culture but I would level with him saying you're not interested. I would rather hear it directly form the woman if she is not intersted in me and he might just keep messaging you if he doesn't know.

I don't think you overreacted at all on it. If you want to keep him as an acquaintance at church just keep the relationship to that level.
Aug 30th 2013 new
Rachel - It does not sound like you are off base with your thoughts, although as Jerry mentions it may very well be misinterpreted humour. I do not use Facebook - but rather than unfriend there is another option that you may want to consider: The following link shows how the chat feature can be turned on/off for individuals within Facebook.
www.facebook.com

As he goes to the same church, and you apparently run into him regularly at daily mass, I am sure that your decision on how to act is weighing heavily on you unfortunately. As Dave mentioned earlier - being honest up front and letting him know you see him as just a friend is probably a wise thing - though the actual process of doing that (and how to do it) is probably what is eating at you.

Have you gotten any responses from others on Facebook that they are definitely attending? Ensuring that you do not find yourself in a situation where it is only you, your daughters, and this particular person? If you have not gotten confirmation from at elast one other friend on Facebook that they will be meeting you there - I would think about posting that the outing is being postponed. You can use the fact that there is a chance of rain and thunderstorms in your area on Sunday it seems - and as such you have decided to make other plans with your daughter for the day that will not be possibly disrupted by the inclement weather. If you do have other friends that are meeting you there - are they a friend that you could ask them to get there early with you such that there will be others there prior to the particular friend showing up?

Regardless - hope you are able to relax and enjoy the day with your daughters and friends.

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