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Inactive accounts

Aug 31 new
Will CM ever decide not to include inactive accounts in Search results? It is frustrating to get a "no response" and not know if it's because an active/paying person is not interested, or if it's because an inactive/nonpaying person is not following their account. Why can't nonpaying members be removed from CM altogether, unless they pay again? Then we will know everyone currently on CM is active.

Kathleen
LOCKED
Aug 31 new
It'd be nice if they could at least remove dead accounts from search results, maybe a year without logging or something. If they want to come back, they still can, but don't throw off the numbers for people who are still around.
LOCKED
Aug 31 new
(quote) Kathleen-878558 said: Will CM ever decide not to include inactive accounts in Search results? It is frustrating to get a "no response" and not know if it's because an active/paying person is not interested, or if it's because an inactive/nonpaying person is not following their account. Why can't nonpaying members be removed from CM altogether, unless they pay again? Then we will know everyone currently on CM is active.

Kathleen
We already have the option to include the maximum period of inactivity in your search criteria (on the Miscellaneous tab).

Brian has explained many times that CM does not remove inactive/non-paying members because there are many known (and who knows how many unknown) cases of these members returning to the site and paying so they could respond to a contact. Will they all? No. But then it appears from various forum discussions that many active paying members don't respond to contact requests either.

While I understand your frustration, in the end it is something you have control over: the trigger is external (the behavior of others), but we each have the ability to control haw we respond to those external triggers.

If you think about it, what difference does it make why a person doesn't respond? Or, for that matter, whether they don't respond or they respond that they aren't interested? You make your contact and you keep searching. If someone responds positively, then you decide whether to continue contact with that person or not.

The problem is most people seem to spend more time lamenting (and complaining about) what they don't have than cherishing and nurturing what they do have.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.


LOCKED
Aug 31 new
(quote) Chris-906154 said: It'd be nice if they could at least remove dead accounts from search results, maybe a year without logging or something. If they want to come back, they still can, but don't throw off the numbers for people who are still around.
You can do this yourself now -- there is a filter in the search criteria, on the Miscellaneous tab.

LOCKED
Aug 31 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: We already have the option to include the maximum period of inactivity in your search criteria (on the Miscellaneous tab).

Brian has explained many times that CM does not remove inactive/non-paying members because there are many known (and who knows how many unknown) cases of these members returning to the site and paying so they could respond to a contact. Will they all? No. But then it appears from various forum discussions that many active paying members don't respond to contact requests either.

While I understand your frustration, in the end it is something you have control over: the trigger is external (the behavior of others), but we each have the ability to control haw we respond to those external triggers.

If you think about it, what difference does it make why a person doesn't respond? Or, for that matter, whether they don't respond or they respond that they aren't interested? You make your contact and you keep searching. If someone responds positively, then you decide whether to continue contact with that person or not.

The problem is most people seem to spend more time lamenting (and complaining about) what they don't have than cherishing and nurturing what they do have.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Thanks for the information Jerry. Your point about external triggers is a good one. Thanks for that tip. And thanks for telling me about the new feature in the Miscellaneous section of Searches. I had no idea that was there. It will indeed be quite useful.

I have to say, though, that I am disappointed with your additional condescending commentary. For instance:

You said, "Brian has explained many times that CM...." And I'm supposed to know what Brian has explained? I have been off the site for months. I do not know what Brian has explained recently, and even if he explained it last year when I was active, I still did not know that he explained it, because I am not always following his particular commentary. If there was a thread in which he was writing about this particular topic, it was not important to me then, so I would not have looked at it.

As for this notion that there are many known cases of inactive members returning to the site and paying so they could respond - Have you guys ever thought about how many matches are missed by active members because they are spending time sending emoticons or messages to inactive members who will never reply? It seems like those who are paying and are active are the ones that should be getting the benefit of whatever it takes to increase the likelihood of a match. Just a thought.

You said, "The problem is most people seem to spend more time lamenting (and complaining about) what they don't have than cherishing and nurturing what they do have." Excuse me? You have no idea what I am cherishing and nurturing, or complaining about besides this feature, so please don't make any assumptions that I am not appreciating the good things here. I would not keep returning if I didn't appreciate them. Besides, this forum is not for registering our gratitude lists. It's for asking for help.

We are not off to a good start. I hope you don't jump to conclusions like these very often.

Kathleen
LOCKED
Aug 31 new

in my case, though I've been here for a couple of days, won't deny that am frustrated and a bit confused, still lots of questions i have in mind, does active/paying members here do see my profile or at least see that am online? or those my favorite lists only can see after sending them a message that i added them as my favorite? confused too with primary search, i tried to edit for new search yet every time i log in i still see the same list? is there something wrong?

But then even i have frustrations and questions, just lift up to God all my concerns here on CM and wait for an answered prayer, as always thanked him for the responses i got ...
LOCKED
Aug 31 new
We all must understand that SOME PEOPLE are not on this site to find a match!
LOCKED
Aug 31 new
I cited Brian's posts because Brian, as the site owner, is a source of authority on the matter; the moderators and other non-staff members are not. That his responses have remained consistent over a span of years and many, many such requests would suggest it is not likely to change

LOCKED
Aug 31 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: I cited Brian's posts because Brian, as the site owner, is a source of authority on the matter; the moderators and other non-staff members are not. That his responses have remained consistent over a span of years and many, many such requests would suggest it is not likely to change

Dear Jerry,

My point wasn't about who you chose. It was about that you chose anyone. People are coming and going on this site all the time. The assumption that we (long timers, newcomers and returnees), know what Brian, or anyone else you would have chosen, has said or is saying, is errant and does not provide useful direction in terms of the question asked. In other, it does not matter if a question is asked 30 times. The assumption on your part should be that each person does not have the information and therefore you should supply it independently again.

It's unfortunate that you did not provide an apology to me for being presumptuous. Your snide responses, and lack of an apology, were akin to some of the reasons I left CM last time. I know I am not alone.

Kathleen
LOCKED
Aug 31 new
I think you are seeing things that are not there -- Jerry was giving credit to Brian for the info,not condemning anyone for not knowing it, I think. You are making assumptions about his intentions.
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