I would give anything for this not to be the case, but it is part of my life and part of who I am now. Any guy who can't handle some curveballs or crumbles under stress isn't for me. I can't be the only person who has an ex and ex issues that just won't go away. At what point do you let someone one know, "this is what a life with me will put you up against."?
I'm a pretty honest and open person anyway. I'd send it in a first message as far as I'm concerned, but that might be a little too honest for most people (not to mention its really the kind of thing I would want to have met someone in person first to at least make sure they are real. :)) It feels dishonest to keep such a large part of my life secret and hidden away without so much as a mention.