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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I don't make it a habit of looking at women's photos, however recently I was viewing women's profiles after they posted interesting comments on the forums. I was amazed at how many women post photos of themselves "posing" in revealing attire. eyepopping Seriously, who are you trying to attract? I also noticed that the more revealing the outfit the more "likes" the photo gets scratchchin . I am no prude and have two twenty something year old daughters, so I know what is "appropriate"; some of these photos are definitely NOT appropriate for a CHRISTIAN dating site.

So, as we enter this season called autumn, take 5 photos of yourself in your favorite fall sweater/pants/boots and replace your favorite sundress/bathing suit photo with these FALL photos. I don't care if it is still 100 degrees in Phoenix! .

One last point. I am surprised that there have been no CM men who made this observation and "suggestion" wink. Obviously the men have no problem with the "revealing attire" photos. To help the men out, just imagine that the woman in the photo was your daughter. Would you want your daughter to post photos of herself in a revealing outfit for men to ogle? I would hope not.
Sep 12th 2013 new
Ummm,, i have.. if you look at Rachel's post "modest and responsibility" in the St. Peters sq about a week ago. I posted a comment in reply to her post..but also added that it should also apply here to CM photos.

** " Great Post Rachel.. i read through two of the links.. and i especially liked the one re. Photos, which i think can apply not only to teens, but to everyone-- even us here on CM." ** eyebrow biggrin
Sep 13th 2013 new
If any man commented about modesty would he get a reasonable reaction or get a never-ending amount of abuse? Even if it weren't personal but a more general thread the reaction would be the same.

"Keep your perverted eyes to yourself, it's what's in your heart not my dress!"
"Jesus loves me no matter how I dress you chauvinistic pig!"
"I feel so sorry for your wife one day"

Fraternal correction can only be made when the fault is grave (and I think many pictures here fall into that category), when you are in the correct relationship with that person (i.e. a friend, a relative, a priest) and when there is some hope of the correction being followed (and for many misinformed Catholics, their consciences are too poorly formed to properly understand why modesty is important, so you'd have to start from scratch with the basics of virtue than dive right in).

As for me, when I see an immodest picture I admittedly make a 'tut tut' noise as a knee-jerk reaction, say a quick prayer for the gal and move on.

It's not just what someone wears that counts as immodest, it's how you compose yourself and how you wear your clothes. Sometimes the clothes are just about appropriate but the poses aren't. Anyway, as a trad even a lot of Catholics think our modesty standards are too much (I argue otherwise of course!).

And for the record, men should be modest too in their clothing and presentation and conduct.

Also, if you look in old manuals of prayer and living a holy life (I'm talking ones that are 70+ years old) modesty was something that you also practiced when alone - out of respect for your guardian angel and God's omnipresence.

Pax +
Sep 13th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-529855 said: I am surprised that there have been no CM men who made this observation and "suggestion" . Obviously the men have no problem with the "revealing attire" photos. To help the men out, just imagine that the woman in the photo was your daughter. Would you want your daughter to post photos of herself in a revealing outfit for men to ogle? I would hope not.
Your conclusion that men have no problem with said photos doesn't follow from the evidence presented. Perhaps the men who have viewed the photos are not forum participants. Perhaps they have commented directly to the women who posted the photos.

Or perhaps the realize the futility of them bringing up this topic. Perhaps the women will pay more attention to another woman's opinion than they do to a man's.

Sep 13th 2013 new
I believe there may be a button that you can click to report an inappropriate photo. If you feel a pic is too revealing, or something not belonging here on CM, report it and let CM admin. decide.
Sep 13th 2013 new
Well, the notion that clothing changes with season is largely foreign to the male half of the population...

Everybody who wants to fire shots in them good ole Catholic modesty wars should be impelled to read this article first: www.patheos.com.

Sep 13th 2013 new
Hello Joan!
I think your initiative is daring and very much so on point. Today, image is everything. Let me explain: like Stacy and Clinton on "What not to wear" say all the time you need to dress the way you want to be treated, to represent who you are and where you want to go with your life. As Catholics, this advice is much needed. Here are a few questions on the matter to think about. On a personal level: "What impression do I want to make? What reactions do I want to have towards me? What is it I want?" On a faith level: "What does the Church teaches us about modesty? What does the Church want for our well being on the concerns of modesty? Why adhere to modesty?"

Personally, I adhere to modesty. However, in today's world, it is challenging. All the time I must discern what I am wearing is godly and respectful to men. It is an everyday conversion.

I love the idea of taking pictures of the newest fall trends to put in practice modesty. Great idea! I've done the same thing when giving a workshop on modesty to teenage girls this summer.
Sep 13th 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: Everybody who wants to fire shots in them good ole Catholic modesty wars should be impelled to read this article first: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithonthecouch/2013/09/the-challenge-of-authentic-modesty-5-things-to-...

Why? The article is based on a strawman argument:

"BUT all of these are very different from saying, for instance, that a woman dressing in a certain way must necessarily cause a man to lust. Or, for that matter that one persons actions automatically cause another person to feel any specific emotion."

I have never seen anyone argue that one person's actions will necessarily or automatically respond in a certain manner. That's not the point at all. A person dressing immodestly may cause some people to have lustful responses. Generally you won't know who and you won't know when, but it does happen.


Sep 13th 2013 new
(quote) Jerry-74383 said: Why? The article is based on a strawman argument:

"BUT all of these are very different from saying, for instance, that a woman dressing in a certain way must necessarily cause a man to lust. Or, for that matter that one persons actions automatically cause another person to feel any specific emotion."

I have never seen anyone argue that one person's actions will necessarily or automatically respond in a certain manner. That's not the point at all. A person dressing immodestly may cause some people to have lustful responses. Generally you won't know who and you won't know when, but it does happen.


The article is not based on that argument - certainly not on the 'must necessarily' part (which I concur I have never seen anyone argue).

The most useful section is the entirety of what follows immediately after that: unless we are we formed, we are perfectly capable of objectifying a woman (or a man, for that matter) no matter how she (or he) is attired. This point is oh so infrequently made, and I have never seen anyone else actually give concrete suggestion about how to rear our children (and, frankly, re-rear ourselves) to that the actually treat all other members of the human family as human subjects, and not as objects - no matter what they may or may not be wearing.


Sep 13th 2013 new
(quote) Adam-399324 said: The article is not based on that argument - certainly not on the 'must necessarily' part (which I concur I have never seen anyone argue).

The most useful section is the entirety of what follows immediately after that: unless we are we formed, we are perfectly capable of objectifying a woman (or a man, for that matter) no matter how she (or he) is attired. This point is oh so infrequently made, and I have never seen anyone else actually give concrete suggestion about how to rear our children (and, frankly, re-rear ourselves) to that the actually treat all other members of the human family as human subjects, and not as objects - no matter what they may or may not be wearing.


I admit I stopped reading as soon as I got to the portion I quoted, assuming the author was going to attempt to defend that position.

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