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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Wonderful article about discovering what love really means. "I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married" I posted this here because I thought maybe the article would help those dating take a closer look at their feelings and expectations. As a single Catholic, found it rather enlightening. I hope you do as well.

"...I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. A country of people trying to live a Disney movie. That's a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50 percent divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages. It's sad to see just how common all the above is. How many people are in pain simply because they've been lied to. Those people deserve better. We all deserve better..."

I would love to know your thoughts on this. Please read the entire article. Thanks :) (good to be back btw)

"I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married" www.huffingtonpost.com
Sep 13th 2013 new
Very good article Mary. The word "Love" gets thrown around too often.
Sep 13th 2013 new
I agree. But I'm just as guilty. How do we know when its really love? I think the longer a couple wait to say the words, maybe the more they really mean what they're saying. Maybe we should say, I'm in Like with you.
laughing Ok that sounds rather lame but how do you avoid the trap of saying the words without the true meaning? How do you know when its right? It's easy to look back on a failed relationship and have those "ah-ha' moments when you realize that it really wasn't what you thought it was but how do you avoid that in the future? Hmm.. just pondering...
Sep 13th 2013 new
Mary,

I like the article because it exposes and debunks love to be an "emotion" (a mistake so many make precisely of the way that article presented it - and at the root of it is TV and the media - via all sorts of entertainment venues), but I don't agree that it's a verb. To me, most importantly, love is a decision, and decision is a noun if I remember my grammar correctly.

What is also important to note is that even if one had true love for another, it does not make for a successful marriage ALONE. Love is just one of five key pillars I can identify that makes a lifelong marriage work. If any of these five pillars crumble, you better get it replaced quick or the marriage will crumble too.

The five pillars, I have posted before. Again, they are:

Fidelity
Communication
Sacrifice
Love
Commitment

When one of these qualities is missing, it begins to erode the others and the marriage is ruined if not fixed.

LOVE IS A DECISION.
Sep 13th 2013 new
Thank you for sharing, Mary.
Sep 13th 2013 new
Hi John, I agree with most of what you said. It does seem to take all of those things you listed. Love is such a hard thing to describe. But I like the way Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen defines love best.

"... Love then is an act of faith, a declaration of the unseen as the real..."
Sep 13th 2013 new
What a great article! Thank you for sharing it.
Sep 13th 2013 new
Thank you, MARY!!! That is truly beautifully said!

As I can see, I see our acts of faith as decisions too, but that elaboration puts any words I could come up with to shame. I am keeping that one on file to read and contemplate.

Again, much thanks for sharing those words of Bl. Archbishop Fulton J Sheen, in blessed memory.
Sep 13th 2013 new
Mary,

We have heard this be said: "How do I love thee, let me count the ways..."

Well, maybe all we have to be is mindful and start doing acts of kindness, express gestures, make willful sacrifices, talk and share and keep committing our actions to those around us instead of ourselves, and in time (God's time) the greatest work of God is presented to man, a woman God creates, just for him.

I am sure that every man would agree with me that there is no more beautiful a creation, save God, in all of heaven or earth than the woman God has so prepared for a man.

Yes, I think we men need to start counting the ways :) if not doing so already.
Sep 13th 2013 new
(quote) Mary-976718 said:
"... Love then is an act of faith, a declaration of the unseen as the real..."http://www.ewtn.com/library/YOUTH/LOVEDREA.TXT
Never seen this one. Good share!
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