I too have great kids, HOWEVER, we were the "low conflict" couple for 25 years mostly because I am a school teacher (master of defusing conflict) and am very skilled at preventing conflict. The kids were "blindsided" by our divorce. My daughter told me that she didn't see anything "wrong" with our family as we weren't any different than her friends families. She felt like we were living a 'Lie". Unfortunately her father was diagnosed with adult onset bipolar at the age of 45 (symptoms since he was 40) so the issues which caused the divorce did not arise until the kids were teenagers. I am a teacher of children with emotional disorders so I handled his bipolar issues the same way I do in the classroom, but when I saw that our kids were no longer able to deal with his untreated bipolar I told him he had to leave and NOT come back, unless he sought long term treatment. He remains untreated today. I filed for legal separation, he filed for divorce. I do believe the divorce has harmed our kids but I "let go and let God".