Before I begin I want to say as a care giver for my mother while I get a good deal of credit. the truth is Im really a link in her chain of care because so many people have become involved and I wish to acknowledge the ones in home health and Hospice particularly, because they really not only rolled up their sleeves but were there for both my dear mother and me too! Also many times were as joyful as desperate and one was sadly after getting knocked down and run over by the front wheels of the golf cart making the wise choice of not getting any medical attention but after a lot of pain in my legs and hardly able to walk, I made a full recovery on my own but things should never be this way and few probably know that they can be!
I cant say it was all smooth sailing but the worst times were not so much taking care of my mother but dealing with everything else!
About 3 years ago I noticed a few things that I attributed to as old age what sadly later on turned out to be dementia but for many years after my sisters got married, it was just her and I left so we ran the family business together what kept us on the go and making good money too we were happy but often we kept long hours and she knew this but still always wanted to come but a customer and good friend
Had a feeling that they reported it to the APS what really ended that and at the house she fell breaking the bones just above her ankle.
The APS was really on the war path and thankfully my friend warned me about that and the woman came out to talk to me and after saying that I was showing nothing that I could take care of her it puzzled me why she was so interested about the ranch and if it was divided or owned all in one parcel then after visiting my sister she only made things worse because she was dreadfully upset and we got into a dreadful argument.
We were in the middle of some remodeling and being told that the house would have to pass inspection I had to work long hours to finish the work but then had to let that go because after going to the bank I found out they were poking around there I thought I better see our lawyer and he recommended that it would be a good idea to start looking for a good one who specializes in things like this so I did and theyre very expensive. then once again back at the house I had to make up for the lost time and when Mary started to understand the situation we made up but one bad thing was the nursing home what is also a therapy center sent my mother home early when she was still non load bearing because she believed she could walk on it and needed 24 hour care what they told me they couldnt do and already exhausted from doing many things on the house that could have waited if the APS women only would have returned my call or kept her word about giving me a little guidance not only wouldnt I have been not so tired but giving up tending something that I needed to do was very costly .
For over 2 months she had to get up every hour or less all night and so I never really slept just lightly dozed , I had never been so tired in my life but as she healed things got better and many times I thought I wasnt going to be able to do it but not only was my mother so unhappy in the home the trouble was because the ranch , houses and we had joint accounts losing everything made the stakes very high if I failed and the APS woman warned me that since she told me that I was legally responsible I would be held accountable and face charges. And even just going to court I knew we could lose everything and our mother too!
She kept our case open full term and a friend in home health told me that some of her cases were just begging for attention and that she was trying to break me what was true and it was really all over money.
When the women closed our case she again gave me her warning again this time in front of my mother and after she left she just sat quietly then suddenly I never saw her so angry I told the women and she said she was sorry but just felt she had to be honest later out of this or not she had a heart attack and just after Easter my sister died from cancerA doctor told me stress can play a big part in that too! And shortly after that my mother started to decline rapidly and now is bed bound.
Last year she could get around great and over that period we had many happy times together and yes she would wander, want to go home even took a swing at me with her fist, also she would say hurtful things but what made the difference is knowing she never meant them and in a few moments be back to herself forgetting the whole thing.
When my sister was in the hospital only what would be a few days left my mother gave her a hug and for a few moments to my amazement was her old self then after we left the room was the same as ever but a mothers love broke through and how powerful it truly is