(quote) Andrew-290721 said: It could be that a person in his 50's expecting to marry an older woman also expects that she will need to use fertility drugs in order to conceive. In that case, he had better be ready for a big family because the use of fertility-inducing drugs definitely increases the chances of multiple births!
Once again, I am not endorsing or encouraging such aspirations; I am simply making an observation. I often ask myself the same questions-- I read profiles too. Also, one could be hoping to adopt.
Andrew, I can not imagine any good man "expecting" his future wife to "use fertility drugs." It is true there are good medications to boost a woman's fertility, and increasing the chances of conception, but there are many associated risks. Artificially stimulated hormone surges in a woman aren't particularly healthy.
I have read so many comments in these forums about this issue. I understand that desire for children from a woman's perspective. I was pregnant more times than I can count on two hands, and only carried one child to term. I suffered from primary and then secondary infertility. It is painful to not have the children you desire but to put physical fertility as a qualifier for marriage is objectifying the woman for her fertility.
I would hope that men are first looking for a wife, a good Catholic wife. I would love to have a faithful and faith-filled Catholic husband. I would also hope to have a "fertile marriage" (in my late middle and senior years) through shared ministry, volunteer work, an apostolate, etc. We focus on the physical fertility of children and forget that the relationship is about the couple, the man and wife, and their journey to heaven.
Finally, thank-you for mentioning adoption. There are several women here on CM that are adopting children, as single moms, and giving children a chance to have a Catholic mom. These gals are gems!!!