(quote) David-174079 said: Hi again, Kristen,
This seems like a good context to recycle the famous JPII quote:
There is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person. In short, the problem with pornography is not that it shows too much of the person, but that it shows far too little.
― John Paul II
Is this what you are intuiting? That a person's human dimension can be diminished by the Internet medium? One's humanity is not eliminated, but I do feel objectification and isolation of parts (face, words) from the whole person can distort reality. On the other hand, I think CM, unlike a bar scene, can serve to magnify the beauty of the mind, heart and soul. Giving truly intelligent, morally good, and inwardly beautiful a safe place to shine!
Thanks for sharing that quote! Hmm...while I'm not sure that I intended such a strong indictment of the online process as to compare it to pornography, I do think you are correct that there are some similarities. One can start to have an approach to this process akin to "online shopping" where one scrolls through profiles until one appears with the right look and style. (I say this being guilty of this behavior myself) The temptation is that one can become cavalier with the hearts of those behind those profiles, not taking time to truly SEE the person. This is a very self-defeating attitude because one stops looking for a fitting companion and spouse but instead starts to evaluate persons according to "Seinfeldesque" (I am not happy with this formulation - please someone improve upon it!
) qualities, ruling out people willy-nilly for pointless reasons. The end result is that the person becomes isolated in a world of self-defined perfectionism (often not evaluating if he or she is capable of attracting a person of the high standards the person demands), never risking to truly KNOW another person, and hiding behind the sad fiction that "there are no good ones out there." How can this be discerned if one has not truly risked to know the other and give them a chance?
So the short answer to your post is, yes David, I think you are right!
I am truly grateful for CM's Forums, as they add a humanizing quality to the online dating process. A sense of the person behind the profile is easier to discern! The longer I'm here the more convinced I become that if I am to meet someone it is probably going to happen at the grocery store or it will be the slow and steady deepening of a good friendship to Love. God bless!