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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I'm not sure if this is the right forum but here goes. I am new to the site and I have a full account. I've already had a number of men view my profile, and some either send emoticons or answer my interview questions, but I still haven't gotten a single message from anyone. I know I've only been a member for a few days, but I just want to prepare myself if this is normally how guys work on this site. The emoticons are fine, but for the most part I believe the woman is meant to be pursued. So it is confusing to me as to why, so far at least, none of the guys seem to be confident enough to really reach out with a full message. I have even tried making first contact with two members whose profiles I found really intriguing, but haven't gotten a reply even though the site says both members have since viewed my profile and were curretly online at some point today. I am trying to remind myself that not everyone has a full acount so I guess they wouldn't be able to reply by message, or of course they may simply be uninterested . I'm pretty new to the whole online thing, so like I said before I'm just trying to determine what my expectations should be on how guys act in an online setting.

If anyone has advice, comments, or has personal experience with this anything would be appreciated. Thanks :)

~Christina
Oct 13th 2013 new
Hi Christina!

Have you tried responding to the emoticons? Sometimes people use that as an ice breaker, of sorts, since it can be a little awkward to start off with a full message.

I see online dating like being in a bar. Men are supposed to hit on you there -- but it still takes a lot of guts to just walk up to a woman and start a conversation with her cold. So instead, they watch you from a far (viewing your profile), and eventually try to catch your eye (sending the emoticon). If you smile back (replying to the emoticon), they become encouraged to talk to you (sending a full message). Unfortunately, sometimes you can give your most charming grin, but for whatever reason, they decide not to talk to you. And that's ok, because it means God is saying "he's not right for you," or "he's not right for you right now."

I wouldn't take anything personally. Welcome to CM!
Oct 13th 2013 new
Some get lucky and find success here fast but that's a rarity. Most are here for at least a while and some will never find someone here. The best you can do is put yourself out there and keep an open mind. Be cautious always and respectful of others even when you're not interested and the first rule of internet dating is don't take it all so seriously. Sending messages and emotes and receiving no response or only a few responses is very common for more reasons than I have time to go into at the moment. If you're getting browses that's good. A browse back will let them know if you at least halfway interested. I usually respond in kind if they send an emote I'll return it or a message ectra. Many will disappear after a few exchanges again this is very common so don't take it personally. Have fun with it. I know it's frustrating don't let it become some big issue. If someone you like doesn't respond move on and forget them they weren't not for you for whatever reason. I'm of the same mind that a guy who is really interested will pursue. But some have had luck sending messages first. I prefer not to but then I'm old school can't change now. Prayers and best of luck.
Oct 13th 2013 new
Some get lucky and find success here fast but that's a rarity. Most are here for at least a while and some will never find someone here. The best you can do is put yourself out there and keep an open mind. Be cautious always and respectful of others even when you're not interested and the first rule of internet dating is don't take it all so seriously. Sending messages and emotes and receiving no response or only a few responses is very common for more reasons than I have time to go into at the moment. If you're getting browses that's good. A browse back will let them know if you at least halfway interested. I usually respond in kind if they send an emote I'll return it or a message ectra. Many will disappear after a few exchanges again this is very common so don't take it personally. Have fun with it. I know it's frustrating don't let it become some big issue. If someone you like doesn't respond move on and forget them they weren't not for you for whatever reason. I'm of the same mind that a guy who is really interested will pursue. But some have had luck sending messages first. I prefer not to but then I'm old school can't change now. Prayers and best of luck.
Oct 13th 2013 new
Thanks for the response! I'm not taking it personally for sure :) I've known guys like that, that are just a little too nervous or shy to make contact (message or in person), and they seem to always let that control how they act not only during first contact but throughout all conversations and it ends up not going anywhere because they hold back way too much. So I guess I was just hoping that since this is a Catholic site we all know we have at least one big thing in common and that factor should be enough of an ice breaker to find that confidence that seems to be lacking.

I guess I'm just old fashioned in thinking how initial contact should work, and I'm definitely not trying to come across as harsh to any of the guys out there because when I was younger I was shy so I understand the feeling. On a dating site though, we're all here for a reason, to hopefully find someone special so why hold back if someone catches your eye? :)
Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Christina-1018729 said: Thanks for the response! I'm not taking it personally for sure :) I've known guys like that, that are just a little too nervous or shy to make contact (message or in person), and they seem to always let that control how they act not only during first contact but throughout all conversations and it ends up not going anywhere because they hold back way too much. So I guess I was just hoping that since this is a Catholic site we all know we have at least one big thing in common and that factor should be enough of an ice breaker to find that confidence that seems to be lacking.

I guess I'm just old fashioned in thinking how initial contact should work, and I'm definitely not trying to come across as harsh to any of the guys out there because when I was younger I was shy so I understand the feeling. On a dating site though, we're all here for a reason, to hopefully find someone special so why hold back if someone catches your eye? :)
I started online dating with the same hopes. I adopted the attitude that if he doesn't have the gumption to at least start a convo, then he probably isn't the guy for me. That frees up my time to focus on other things and people :) Just think of all the frustration they're saving you! ;)
Oct 13th 2013 new
Christina,

Both Ann and Mel pretty much summarized it without going into a long list of reasons. I'm sure you'll get some on here.

As to the they are "on line", they may be logged in on their cell phone. I think if you are signed in on your phone, one will appear "on line".
Oct 13th 2013 new
Thanks, you have all given great insight. I am curious though if anyone could give me advice if there are any changes I could make to my profile to maybe get more messages rather than the other stuff from guys that show interest? Even if it is by being blunt and just putting "I prefer messages" lol. All opinions are appreciated (guys and girls) so I can get the full perspective on how others view a profile.

Thanks so much!
Oct 13th 2013 new
(quote) Christina-1018729 said: I am curious though if anyone could give me advice if there are any changes I could make to my profile to maybe get more messages rather than the other stuff from guys that show interest? 
Christina,

Do you mind if I look at your profile then?
Oct 13th 2013 new
Go right ahead, thanks in advance :)
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