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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 16th 2013 new
I hate to admit it, but this question didn't even occur to me at all. Admittedly, it's a non-issue for me as I'm a virgin, but the consideration of those I'm potentially dating ... that's a thought. That's a big thought. Good question and I will agree with advice already given, wait till you're sure the guy you're with (or gal if you're a guy) is someone you'd consider marrying and spending the rest of your life with.

If you're sure of that, if you're comfortable with that thought and the myriad thoughts that come with it, than the question can be asked. Bluntly, subtly, whatever style is the best between the two of you (you'll likely know by that point). Personally, I'd rather be asked outright. I appreciate that kind of honesty but I know a lot of people don't.

Good luck to you and the guy you have your sights set on, hope it works out. :)
Oct 16th 2013 new
Patrick--
His past IS relevant--whether it's one person or many, recent or long ago. Everyone--everyone, needs to make an informed decision. health and safety are very important--for their present and future and future children. It is very important to know factually whether there is an STD involved.

It's not a judgment, it's open dialogue on an important matter. Getting tested is easy--in the scheme of life.

Chris
Oct 16th 2013 new
I think if someone hasnt had sex since the Nixon administration they are in essence a virgin.
Oct 16th 2013 new
Tom---you're trying to make a joke--right?
Oct 16th 2013 new
Ask before you commit and know that just because someone says one thing doesn't mean they are telling the truth about it. You may want to invest in a good Private Investigator. cool laughing

Put your trust in The Lord, not man. He will guide you and if you ask He will protect you. theheart


Oct 16th 2013 new
If you are waiting for marriage to be intimate why are you wondering about this question? It is a personal question and not something you would ask someone you just met or went out with a few times. If you were going to get married then this is something you would want to know. However, if you are not thinking of getting married, and you are waiting to be intimate to the one you marry then I don't think you should ask this question.
Oct 16th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: Ask before you commit and know that just because someone says one thing doesn't mean they are telling the truth about it. You may want to invest in a good Private Investigator.

Put your trust in The Lord, not man. He will guide you and if you ask He will protect you.


If you have to hire a private investigator then your marriage is doomed from the start. You shouldn't be getting married.
Oct 16th 2013 new
(quote) Haley-1019327 said: Rather is there a right time to ask someone if they're sexually active? With all of STDs going around I have to be careful. I personally want to save myself for marriage and hope to find someone who is as well. I won't judge anyone who isn't a virgin. But what do you do? How do you bring up the topic, do you wait or do you just come out and ask?
There is a broader theology behind why we believe what we believe as Catholics. Maybe if you don't want to ask them outright about their history which can be awkward depending on who the person is maybe you can ask them questions about marriage and relationships in general. It might give you a glimpse as to whether they incorporate their faith into their worldview. Maybe ask what they feel about chastity, purity, and what sort of faith life they have.
Oct 16th 2013 new
This is a Catholic web site. Call me naive and foolish, but I wouldn't ask until I caught her in bed with someone else. I have no intention of asking such questions of a prospective spouse. When it comes to that, it's time to head for the monastery.
Oct 16th 2013 new
My only general advice, Haley, is to be open with others about the kind of woman you are, in a joyful way. That helps to draw good men to you, the men who value the type of woman you are. Then, as you proceed in getting to know someone, gradually discussing more personal, private, even difficult things is appropriate. The exact timing is as unique as every friendship. Some people are open very quickly; others take time to build trust and to see if the friendship is going to be serious. If the relationship is heading in a serious direction, then there are all sorts of things that are important for a couple to discuss. If you have a good relationship with your parents, stay close to them. People with more experience in life than we have usually have a good nose and can give us their advice and insight. Pray, use common sense, and listen to the people you trust. Best wishes!
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