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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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When should we throw in the towel in our attempt to try to meet a certain someone we are attracted to? Is there ever a time to give up hope?

Thank you.



Oct 19th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: When should we throw in the towel in our attempt to try to meet a certain someone we are attracted to? Is there ever a time to give up hope?

Thank you.



I don't think we should ever give up hope, because that's like telling God, "because You're not working on MY timeline, I don't believe You'll ever bring me together with the man you've picked out for me."

I have a LOT of really, really, really bad relationships in my past, and even more horrific first dates. And for a long time, I was almost despondent about it. I wanted so badly to have the security of a strong relationship that it compounded the frustration from those bad dates. I thought God was trying to tell me, "Nope, relationships are not for you. You're gonna need a bigger house for all your cats." But then I started thinking...maybe God is sending me all those craptastic dates to make it all the more obvious when the right guy does come along. Bad dates are still annoying, but now I care a little less :)
Oct 19th 2013 new
I am not sure if I will ever throw in the towel in my search for who God wants me to be with. It may get tiring at times, but like what Mel said, it is just like God telling me that those wrong ones in your life are preparations for the right one.

Oct 19th 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: When should we throw in the towel in our attempt to try to meet a certain someone we are attracted to? Is there ever a time to give up hope?

Thank you.



Michelle,

Excellent topic which many people on the dating scene encounter. I offer the following obviously from a strictly male perspective.

You should never have to fight for a relationship to work. If you have expressed your feelings, then he should do likewise. If he is hesitant or just seems to lead you on then ask him if he wishes a relationship with you. Some women spend a lot of time on something that is never going to happen. Considering the number of years God has allowed me to be on His beautiful earth, I have seen far too many men use women like pawns on a chessboard. They keep you hanging while they are searching for something better. How long are you willing to compromise your self-worth and self-esteem?

Obviously, some men are naturally shy and some fear rejection. Nonetheless, there comes a time when they have to take a stand.

There is a book called "Hes Just Not Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. . Your local library may have a copy or if you have one in your area - Half Price Books. It may provide some perspective that will help in your decision.

As with all my posts, just my opinion.

May God bless you in your journey, Praying hug rose

Leon


Oct 19th 2013 new
Hi Michelle,

Are you referring to hoping and waiting for a particular individual that one has in mind, or are you referring to the search in more general terms, as in trying to determine when to take a break from seeking?
Oct 19th 2013 new
Quit pursuing him. He's enjoying playing with you while he tries to change you, but he's still not going to give you what you want. If he ever wants to become serious about you, he WILL pursue you, not just play with you.
Oct 19th 2013 new
Hi Leon,

"You should never have to fight for a relationship to work."

Well said! There are exceptions to most any rule. However, a relationship based on friendship (common interests, sense of humor, you are into each other, etc.) just purrs like a smooth running car. Why settle?
Oct 19th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: Hi Michelle,

Are you referring to hoping and waiting for a particular individual that one has in mind, or are you referring to the search in more general terms, as in trying to determine when to take a break from seeking?
This was my question too. If you are referring to a relationship with a particular man where you've given him indication that you are interested and he doesn't respond, then I think it would be best to take Leon's advice for this situation. Certainly one might feel that a particular man is perfect for you or even might be "God's will", but if he doesn't agree then you may have discerned this relationship incorrectly.

However, if you are talking about having hope about finding a man to share your life with, I think you most certainly should continue to hope! You seem like a warm and caring person - the right man will recognize this and find you as life unfolds. When both you and he both respond to the opportunity for love as it presents itself, that's when it's God's will!
Oct 19th 2013 new
(quote) Angela-374523 said: Hi Michelle,

Are you referring to hoping and waiting for a particular individual that one has in mind, or are you referring to the search in more general terms, as in trying to determine when to take a break from seeking?
Kind of both Angela. If everything is God's will and we aren't supposed to pursue then why try?

Yes I have an idea of someone I would get along with. I wish the site would have an option here that would match people based on the temperament test. That seems fairly accurate when comparing people who would be best suited for companionship. I would be looking for someone who would be around 68% sanguine and 32% choleric (or close to that). This is my latest venture, comparing the temperaments. Of course you have to view the man's profile to do so. So some may think you are being too forward. I just don't know anymore.

Have you ever used the temperament test to match yourself?

Thank you.
Oct 19th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Quit pursuing him. He's enjoying playing with you while he tries to change you, but he's still not going to give you what you want. If he ever wants to become serious about you, he WILL pursue you, not just play with you.
I hear ya Rachel thank you.

I'm not really pursuing at all just keeping in touch based on spiritual things and ideas. He really has no idea of how I feel about him as a possible companion. Unless he's been listening in on my private conversations or something. wave

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