I'm new to this, and my situation is embarrassing, so please bear with me.
It's impossible to summarize a relationship is a few paragraphs, but I'll try.
Over six years ago, a woman I knew showed an interest in me, I was flattered, as this doesn't happen to me often, and we began to see each other daily. She had a ex who cheated on her, and left her with two teen-age children. Her boyfriend before me had also cheated on her, as had her dad on her mom. At the time, she had dreamed of meeting one man who would be faithful to her. I figured it would be me.
As time went by, I would only go so far in intimacy. She seemed to accept this, although not being Catholic, she wasn't used to it.She was brought up in a bible-based family.
As more time went by, she used to tease me about the fact that I had told her early on that I might never want to marry, so I wanted to be upfront about that. She asked if that meant "never" and I told her " well, maybe if we're together for 10 years."
More time went by, and her children moved back in with her full-time, as did her mother a couple of years later. Not much chance for us to be alone, and about a year ago, she stopped showing an interest in that all together. All this time, I have been living with an older brother who has health issues, and un-employment issues, and I feel he depends on me a lot (probably too much). My girlfriend often accused me of "putting him first", which in hindsight, I probably did.
I've always been a work/save kind of person. She was more the impulsive kind, who often got herself into financial trouble, and I helped her out many times.
She began working a second job late at night, and started telling me how "guilty" she felt. I though she felt bad that we weren't spending much time together, but if turns out that she was taking an interest in a co-worker. She has cried hysterically on a few occasions, but feels that we were in a rut, maybe a "dead-end relationship", and felt a need to change her life. She says she still cares for me, and we see each other less, but at least keep in touch most days.
We've had several heart to heart talks since. We talked about things that we never discussed before, including my failure to propose, and our family situations that would make that difficult anyways.
She doesn't see the new guy all the time, and tells me that he "isn't perfect either". Her ideas is that we both see other people, and if we're "Meant to be together, it will happen". She believes that something will happen to let her know what choices to make.
I'm heart-broken, and very jealous and insecure. I realize now that I am very attached to her, and have told her many times how much I love her. It seems that no matter what I do or say, she is determined to go about this her own way.
As a side-note, her daughter has moved out, and my ex-girlfriend is going through menopause, a time when I've read that many women become dissatisfied with their lives,
I understand that there are no easy answers, but I appreciate any insights.