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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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She thinks I am being too picky to consider only Catholic men. She doesn't think I will EVER find a Catholic Match. What do you think? irked
Nov 1st 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: She thinks I am being too picky to consider only Catholic men. She doesn't think I will EVER find a Catholic Match. What do you think?
There are DEFINITELY very devout non-Catholics. Of the 3 wonderful women I dated long enough where marriage could have occurred, one was Catholic, one Southern Baptist, and one United Methodist.
Nov 1st 2013 new
(quote) Bob-59786 said: There are DEFINITELY very devout non-Catholics. Of the 3 wonderful women I dated long enough where marriage could have occurred, one was Catholic, one Southern Baptist, and one United Methodist.
Would you have tried to convert them? Or hope they would convert someday?
Nov 1st 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: She thinks I am being too picky to consider only Catholic men. She doesn't think I will EVER find a Catholic Match. What do you think?
It's not a good idea.

If she's encouraging you to consider protestant or unbaptized men as anything but the very last resort in extraordinary need, then it doesn't sound like a good perspective of the institution of marriage. How can a woman who professes to be Catholic consider a man as her head, as a primary or secondary resort, who rejects the truth of what Christ taught in reference to the sacraments and the institution of His Church, or is not in a condition in which sanctifying grace is possible?

Obviously there would be no tranquil family life with husband and wife keeping one another at a distance due to the spiritual abyss that separates the two. Is that really what you would consider under ordinary circumstances? Are you really going to cuddle up to someone at night of whom you have good reason to believe will be separated to the left of Christ at the general resurrection?
Nov 1st 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: She thinks I am being too picky to consider only Catholic men. She doesn't think I will EVER find a Catholic Match. What do you think?
The two non-Catholics and I were on the same page in Faith practices. I prefer they would have continued as non-Catholic if they wanted. We would have had no problems living a solid Christian marriage. The only issue would have been if we married and had kids - the kids are supposed to be raised Catholic.

I have a good friend whose non-Catholic son married a Catholic, had kids and raised them Catholic, and then he converted to Catholicism.

Gotta go zzzzz because I'm running a 15K tomorrow at 8:30am.
Nov 1st 2013 new
I think we, as adults, have to prioritize what is important to us and stick to those principles. I think we, as parents, need to set an example for our children to follow, to model the behavior we think is best for them to model as well. I think we, as Catholics, need to know what Truth our Church teaches, and abide by those Truths, no matter how difficult that abiding might be, no matter how contrary to the world's ways that might be. I think "picky" is a pejorative term for "selective". I think being alone is preferential to settling. I think there are holy people of various religions.
Nov 1st 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: Would you have tried to convert them? Or hope they would convert someday?
My reply got attached incorrectly - see 12:25 am below.
Nov 2nd 2013 new
(quote) Michelle-860764 said: She thinks I am being too picky to consider only Catholic men. She doesn't think I will EVER find a Catholic Match. What do you think?
Hi Michelle! My father was not Catholic, but converted to Catholicism before my parents were married in the church. Either way, my sister and I would have been raised Catholic. A good friend's mother married a non-Catholic. Her father attended mass every Sunday with the family. She and her siblings were raised in a Catholic home. He converted to Catholicism about 15 years later. Both were very good men and wonderful fathers. All things are possible! IMHO, it would be best to have the conversation early on to know where your potential stands on the subject. Most Catholics I know are "fallen" ones; so, just being Catholic does not mean that your someday man practices his faith. I wish you the best in your search and hope you find your CM - one way or the other!! Chelle
Nov 2nd 2013 new
this is something i haven't giving any thought to for ages until you bring it up here.
I was engaged 4 times......only the second one was catholic..........
Nov 2nd 2013 new
Dear Michelle,

Your daughter is absolutely correct to think that you are being to picky to only consider Catholic men. There have been too many successful marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics to say otherwise. I have a good, very Catholic friend who dated a non Catholic who converted. I have another who married a wonderful woman who was not. She did not convert but they are raising 5 wonderful children Catholic.

She is absolutely wrong to think that you won't find a Catholic gent. how can she see the future? Finding another Catholic means you will already be compatible on all the important points, and that's worth being a bit picky about.

Marrying outside the faith is a pretty serious business, so my advice is concentrate on finding a good Catholic, but Don,t tell a good, handsome and charming gent no just because he isn't Catholic. If you are both adults you should be able to discern if the relationship should go forward or not.

Peace in Christ,

Matt
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