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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Would you marry someone who you loved dearly and was suffering from serious health or mental health issues?
Nov 8th 2013 new
I almost did.. got plenty of advice not to. as it happened, she called it off, because her family felt I could not care for her in the way she needed. unfortunately her mental health issues were a bit on the extreme side, and I suspect taking care of her would of been very difficult.
Nov 8th 2013 new
(quote) Chris-280015 said: I almost did.. got plenty of advice not to. as it happened, she called it off, because her family felt I could not care for her in the way she needed. unfortunately her mental health issues were a bit on the extreme side, and I suspect taking care of her would of been very difficult.
Hi Chris in the right circumstances people can and do recover from mental health issues. It's sad her family discouraged you from being together. She may have been better off and you may both be happy today. God only knows. I have seen extremely mentally ill and chronically ill people recover beautifully and continue on to do great things in life. How is she now? When did this happen? Has her health improved?
Nov 8th 2013 new
Michelle--
I was engaged last year to an older man who had health problems. I was pretty much willing to do whatever it took--I loved him very much. Objectively, on paper, in a bright light, without rose colored glasses, after the honeymoon was over--I might have thought differently. It is what it is. I do see our entire relationship in a different light--more objectively.
Nov 9th 2013 new
I have to say it would depend upon the exact nature of the problem.
Nov 9th 2013 new
Marriage requires reciprocity between the spouses and between each spouse and God. The desire to be of unique or very special or specific help to someone so they will not travel through life lonely can be met by being somebody's Best Celibate Friend. Marriage is primarily a sacrament, which means certain reciprocities must be observed between each spouse and God. If the physical, financial, social or mental pain (or mental confusion or inadequacy) of your The One is likely to cause chronic estrangement from or anger with God, you should consider a Best Celibate Friend status. While God is present in every marriage, he may limit his extent according to your spouse's (and perhaps yours, too) disgruntled free will. If he does, Satan might enter your marriage to exploit opportunities afforded by anger, pain and confusion. Marriage isn't only a welfare net. Loving a lover without sharing a bed is your sacrifice for the one you love and the One you love.
Nov 9th 2013 new
(quote) Karen-856326 said: I have to say it would depend upon the exact nature of the problem.
I agree with Karen, that depends on the problem. For instance, I have loved a man who was a recovering alcoholic, sober for 15 years. I would have married him while my children were still at home, and we would have blended families. But he died.

However, I would not marry an active alcoholic, someone with untreated health or mental health issues. If a man will not work on a problem to become as healthy as possible, I will not become involved. I too have health issues and I work to stay as healthy as possible. I expect the same of my future husband.
Nov 9th 2013 new
I will say that her illness would likely of been chronic, and likely to last indefinitely. Her illness reminded me of John Nash (A Beautiful Mind), with the paranoia and hearing voices and such. I never got an official diagnosis from the family, but schizophrenia was suspected by some of the mental health folks I described some of the things that she said and did. se split up about 16 months ago, and she was put on medication about a month prior. even much of the advice I was getting was to break it off, as my employer may consider marrying someone in her condition to be a sign of poor judgment, and a reason to terminate employment (this was given by both health care professionals and a side conversation from an immediate supervisor).
Nov 17th 2013 new
I would not let the health problem be the cause for a break up, but I would do a lot of praying to find the courage to handle whatever the illness is. I dealt with a husband with an undiagnosed mental illness for twenty five years. When he left me for a younger woman...(it took time to get over) I finally realized God had granted me clemency! I thank Him daily for his mercy!!
Nov 17th 2013 new
God won't give us more than we can handle. That being said I'm not sure if I'd want to, although I've had experience being a caretaker for my mom, it's always a case by case situation. We never know what God has planned.
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