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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

How do you feel about being single? I was at the library today and picked up a book, "Why Love Hurts," by a sociologist. It was saying that the Freudian way of thinking causes people to feel that they are failures -- they have a flawed childhood, a flawed past -- and that is why they are single.

eyepopping Honestly, it felt like a light went on for me. This may be how other people feel, I thought. I have never felt like a failure because I'm single. I have felt impatient, lonely, angry, depressed, longing, but not like a failure. I also have a good idea that my being single has to do with a variety of factors that, combined, make me a pretty rare (some would say odd) type of person. Therefore, the guy who falls in love w/me would need to be pretty unique himself.

What do you think? More importantly, how do you feel because you don't have a shiny gold wedding ring on your left hand?


Nov 9th 2013 new
Good question.

Well, I sure would like to have a shiny gold wedding ring on my left hand but I don't feel like a failure because I don't. I'm a wonderful, beautiful child of God and I'm just living life and waiting patiently for Him to send the right man my way! I am pretty content with my life but would love to have someone to share the adventure with. It will happen in God's time.
Nov 10th 2013 new
(quote) Margo-404841 said: ... how do you feel because you don't have a shiny gold wedding ring on your left hand?


People just want too much! At least, most of them ................................................... have a left hand. Or sump'n that looks like one.
Nov 10th 2013 new
excellent post Margo!..really got me thinking
Nov 10th 2013 new
How interesting... I am not sure if failure is quite the right word. I do wonder why after actively searching for a good husband for many, many years, that left-hand is still ring less. It definitely makes me question my worth when the only men who are interested are more than twice my age, ex-cons, or guys just looking for a good time. I am left wondering what's wrong with me... And talking to other conservative, marriage and family minded, single women, it seems to be a common thought... We are just not good enough, apparently. (Which we know is not reality but an overwhelming feeling none-the-less...)
Nov 10th 2013 new
Hi Margo,

You are a special lady to post this. I appreciate that you admit your uniqueness. Lighthearted posts are fun, but these are better.
The other day I was at my gym and I saw my local priest on a treadmill. He had earphones on and I wondered if he was praying. He saw me. When I went over to the mats to do some situps, I was thinking about loneliness and wondering if my priest ever felt loneliness. He is a native African. Then I thought about my own loneliness and experienced a prompting from Jesus for me to trust Him and as well a distinct request for me to offer my suffering for the world. I consented and realized once again that all is not for nought. As the great stewards of the earth's resources that my parents showed me over and over, I can be a steward of my own resources and return it in measure to God.

Sara






Nov 10th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: People just want too much! At least, most of them ................................................... have a left hand. Or sump'n that looks like one.
So Roystan, I'm wondering if you feel unworthy to be married because you write, "People just want too much." Am I making an incorrect assumption? I believe it's not too much to want a husband.
Nov 10th 2013 new
Nancy, Sara, Susan and Debbie,
Thank you all for your honest replies. I think that, as Catholics who attempt to follow our church's teaching in the United States, we are swimming against the tide of the dominant culture. Therefore, the fact that we are catches -- yes, catches -- as potential wives, is not understood. We are faithful, tenacious, usually employed, usually have good credit ratings.
Here are some thoughts:
  • If you haven't read the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachael Heller, you should. I use it frequently w/my clients. (I'm a psychotherapist.) It explains adult attachment styles, the tough road that singles traverse looking for a mate, and how to make it easier through self-knowledge.
  • Also, engage in some self-reflection. Is there any way you are sabotaging yourself from finding a mate? Have you switched things up, changed online dating sites, worked on yourself, your own issues, to guarantee success?

Nov 10th 2013 new
(quote) Nancy-1015412 said: How interesting... I am not sure if failure is quite the right word. I do wonder why after actively searching for a good husband for many, many years, that left-hand is still ring less. It definitely makes me question my worth when the only men who are interested are more than twice my age, ex-cons, or guys just looking for a good time. I am left wondering what's wrong with me... And talking to other conservative, marriage and family minded, single women, it seems to be a common thought... We are just not good enough, apparently. (Which we know is not reality but an overwhelming feeling none-the-less...)
wave rose rose Nancy, this was your first post. Welcome to Catholic Match! wave rose rose

Nov 10th 2013 new
I have failed to marry because I do not want to fail at marriage.
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