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This room is for general discussion that doesn't specifically fit into one of the other CatholicMatch rooms. Topics should not be overly serious as this is to be more of a "cafe setting."

Saint Peter's Square was created so that more people could be in the presence of the Pope and was named after Saint Peter, one of Jesus's apostles.
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Tis better to give than to receive.

Receiving is the highest form of giving.

Its a relationship, a two-way street. To show love, one may give a gift; to showlove, one may receive a gift graciously.

But what if the giveryour spouse/significant other givesyou something you dont like, gives you something that shows lack of thought,gives you out of obligation? What if it's the first time this happens, what if it isn't the first time?

Discuss.

Nov 12th 2013 new
Put first time to good use and show appreciation.
Give each other "potential" list of ideas for gifts. Since it's their list, they will like it. OR...
Maybe they come to an agreement that they could exchange it for something they would like.
Shouldn't get to a second time if the list is used.
Nov 12th 2013 new
Hi Lina! Whether or not we choose to admit it to ourselves or to each other, I believe that gifts have meaning. You can often tell where a person is "at" in the relationship by the type of gift s/he gives the other. That's why I think it's so hard to buy a gift for a significant other at the first Christmas or birthday. With that said, I try not to focus too much on the gift itself but the sentiment behind it. I think most of us will agree that it's the amount of thought that went into the gift not the size of the item or the actual cost! Chelle
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: Put first time to good use and show appreciation.
Give each other "potential" list of ideas for gifts. Since it's their list, they will like it. OR...
Maybe they come to an agreement that they could exchange it for something they would like.
Shouldn't get to a second time if the list is used.
"Put first time to good use and show appreciation."
Not sure I understand what you mean here, Johnny.

If we show appreciation for a gift that we don't like, simply to be kind or to be gracious, doesn't that set up reinforcement of getting similar gifts that we would, again, dislike?

We are not to lie. If the giver asks how we liked the gift, what do we say?
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Chelle-924354 said: Hi Lina! Whether or not we choose to admit it to ourselves or to each other, I believe that gifts have meaning. You can often tell where a person is "at" in the relationship by the type of gift s/he gives the other. That's why I think it's so hard to buy a gift for a significant other at the first Christmas or birthday. With that said, I try not to focus too much on the gift itself but the sentiment behind it. I think most of us will agree that it's the amount of thought that went into the gift not the size of the item or the actual cost! Chelle
Chelle, I agree--the thought or sentiment behind the gift matters more than the size or cost.

Selfishness comes to play in gifts. Whose self is more important--the giver's or the recipient's?
What I mean is, is it more important for the giver to give what the recipient likes or would want, or is it more important for the recipient to show gratitude to the giver?
Nov 13th 2013 new
That it was the thought that counted and I will use it.

I had to do the list option with my kids after each were disappointed with a gift. They did not happen the same year. So, we applied "the list" to everyone and it worked out REALLY well. No disappointments at all from anyone.
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said:

'Tis better to give than to receive.

Receiving is the highest form of giving.

It's a relationship, a two-way street. To show love, one may give a gift; to showlove, one may receive a gift graciously.

But what if the giver--your spouse/significant other--givesyou something you don't like, gives you something that shows lack of thought,gives you out of obligation? What if it's the first time this happens, what if it isn't the first time?

Discuss.

Grr. For my original post, I copied and pasted from Word, and forgot to preview the post and make corrections--some punctuation and spacing doesn't translate properly. I tried to fix it above, but I wasn't allowed! Grr again.

embarassed Sorry, it bugs me.
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Johnny-975202 said: That it was the thought that counted and I will use it.

I had to do the list option with my kids after each were disappointed with a gift. They did not happen the same year. So, we applied "the list" to everyone and it worked out REALLY well. No disappointments at all from anyone.
Gift lists--another sub-topic here!

The definition of gift is "a thing given willingly to someone without payment." At Christmas, it's rarely gift-giving, isn't it? It's more thing-exchange. I know Aunt Martha will be giving me something, so I better not forget to get her another something! But I might get her something she won't like, and I don't want to do that. So I get a list from her of a couple of things she wants. And that changes the entire meaning, don'tcha think? It's not really a gift if you tell me what you want, & I tell you what I want, and we separately go fight the crowds and shop, then wrap, all so that on Dec 24 or 25, we can give each other the wrapped thingamajigs, tear open the packages, and exclaim to each other, "Wow, just what I wanted! Thanks!" What a surprise and delight. Not.
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: Chelle, I agree--the thought or sentiment behind the gift matters more than the size or cost.

Selfishness comes to play in gifts. Whose self is more important--the giver's or the recipient's?
What I mean is, is it more important for the giver to give what the recipient likes or would want, or is it more important for the recipient to show gratitude to the giver?
Those are interesting questions, Lina, and good ones! I think a gift can't be given without a receiver to receive it. So, both parties are necessary for the exchange. If the giver has given the gift with the receiver upper most in his or her mind, then the only proper response from the receiver should be gratitude (even if only for the effort). If the giver has given the gift with him/herself uppermost in his or her mind, then, the recipient should be (at the very least) gracious. At that point, I think the recipient should be careful of the giver's intentions in the relationship! (By the by, I've seen this happen with others and experienced it myself.) Chelle
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: What a surprise and delight. Not.
I see.
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