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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Follow your Bliss

Nov 13th 2013 new
www.catholicmatch.com

There is a great article on the CM Institute right now about commitment and people over 40. My favorite quote from the article:

"My dad once told me (when I was in college), Erik, youre going to meet a million women in your lifetime, and half of them will be the right one. Sounds unromantic, huh? The simple truth is that doesnt take a whole lot to make a marriage. It takes two people of similar values, who are attracted to each other, and who want the same things in life. The big things. If a man tells you he hasnt met his soul mate yet, it means he has been looking for the perfect woman. And there is no such thing. Hes been unwilling to face the fact that no one is perfect. Consciously or unconsciously, hes still unwilling to accept that ALL relationships mean compromise."

What do you think about this quote? Do you think there is just one "soul mate" out there for you, or are you of the school that "all relationships mean compromise"?
Nov 13th 2013 new
I believe every relationship needs compromise. I also believe there is someone out there we are meant to be with. I like the thought of having a soul mate, but I also realize that you can't sit and wait for that person to show up. It's like waiting for your ship to come in at the docks, when the ship came in at the airport. Proactive instead of reactive!
Nov 13th 2013 new

Erik's dad is on the money.

There cannot be such a thing as a 'soul mate' for Christians. To use the butterfly analogy, adults are merely imagos. The final stage of the soul, its chrysalid version, so to speak, is not mated to any soul in particular but, if saved, enjoys a deeper communion with countless other souls and, of course, with God. The intimate bonding between spouses in this world is an immature version of the intimate bonding that God desires to occur in the next, not, in the truth of things, destined to last. You are destined, in the truth of things, to become your spouse's sibling. Marriage is special and it is not special. It's only a halfway house to something else.

In practice, too, because widows and widowers are allowed to remarry, there can be no necessary uniqueness about the first pair of spouses that makes the bonding between the surviving spouse and his or her new partner a lesser or second-rate bonding. Both bondings are qualitatively equal but both are immature foreshadowings of the real destiny of the soul to be bonded to many.


The 'soul mate' idea probably makes more sense for Mormons with their idea that a married couple will go on to become gods of their own world. However, I'm not sure how nonpolygamous Mormons handle the question concerning the widow with seven husbands, with which husband will she be the goddess of her own world.

So, all of this serial dating is hoo-hah. If two people are determined to make a go of themselves from the first date, it'll happen.


Nov 13th 2013 new
Thanks, Roystan. I enjoyed reading your post and it gave me a lot to think about. I believe marriage does take lots of compromise and selflessness. The success of a marriage is determined by the commitment and willingness of both to serve the other.
Nov 13th 2013 new
I've lately given considerable thought to the bride of Christ being the church. God's love is totally fascinating me more than ever before.....................in another thread I mentioned wisdom and I seem to have been given some....................I think teaching the mentally challenged kids is good for me also............
Nov 13th 2013 new
If I have to compromise to the point that I am a different person, it isn't worth it. I think the quote is another unjustified broad generalization. There is a reason God created me and led me to the values that are dear to my heart, and it isn't so that I can just toss them out the window and be someone else.
Nov 13th 2013 new
I highly doubt that Everyone is looking for the perfect person.. or not willing to Compromise. I would guess it's more what Everyone is willing to compromise on. scratchchin just my .02 Praying
Nov 13th 2013 new
laughing No one is asking that much.
But we are asking each other to consider the guy/gal who:
- isn't tall, dark, and handsome
- isn't wealthy, or even good with money
- doesn't like the same radio station
- doesn't celebrate holidays the same way
- doesn't like your Thanksgiving specialty
Nov 13th 2013 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: No one is asking that much.
But we are asking each other to consider the guy/gal who:
- isn't tall, dark, and handsome
- isn't wealthy, or even good with money
- doesn't like the same radio station
- doesn't celebrate holidays the same way
- doesn't like your Thanksgiving specialty
THAT'S MEEEE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well....maybe not ALL of it. JS
Nov 13th 2013 new
But what about men who leave toilet seats up? Must they be told never to approach women without ringing a bell and saying, "Unreformed, unreformed"?
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