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Turkey Day Disasters

Nov 19th 2013 new

Have you ever had a holiday mishap when preparing for a crowd? I thought it might be fun to share our not so secret disasters. You know, the ones your family will never let you forget. Now, I promise to laugh with you and not at you if you'll please do the same! So in classic Chevy Chase style, I will admit...
I did forget to pull the neck and gizzard bag out of the bird my first year. That made for an interesting surprise.

I think my favorite faux pas was when I opted to bring chicky buns to my sisters. (You knot and fold bread stick dough into the shape of a bird and add an almond beak.) Well, I took it a step further and put cloves in for eyes. They smelled great baking and looked adorable, but I sent all the nephews clammoring for water and holding their throats when I neglected to tell them not to eat the eyes!

Nov 20th 2013 new
The first time I made a chocolate pecan torte, I had a silly mishap with the bain-marie, I didn't have enough cinnamon, and I burnt the pecans that were only meant to be toasted. But hey, everything did work out in the end!
Nov 20th 2013 new
I go up to my cousins every year in New Hampshire.The people down the road have a pet turkey.Every time I walk down the road the turkey follows me and pecks.(I guess the bird knows what I come up for every Thanksgiving.Can you blame him?)
Nov 21st 2013 new
  • Well, Margaret, it looks like we're the only ones with egg on our face! Glad your torte turned out ok after all that. I don't think I've ever attempted anything so complicated.
  • Brian, that was the bird's way of saying "Eat Ham."
Nov 23rd 2013 new

To give this thread a boost, as Turkey Day is arriving soon, I will submit my story...

First, I would like to make it very clear that this did not happen to ME. I would like to think that I am smart enough not to try such an ill-advised maneuver.

Second, I would like to point out that the person survived and recovered.... but perhaps not his dignity or ego were completely intact.

Years ago I used to work as a civilian engineer for the U.S. Navy. We reworked aircraft and were responsible for the Navy's S-3 Viking aircraft. Every month the engineers would get a "Mishap Report" which listed all of the things that went wrong with the aircraft that month, plus some general Navy-wide mishaps. The reports exclude names of people, but include their rank.
.....

As it turns out, a Lt. was home with his wife on Thanksgiving. They were cooking a turkey in the oven. When the turkey was finished, the Lt. decided it would be a good idea to transfer the turkey directly from the pan in the oven to a large platter on the counter beside the oven. His tools were a turkey-sized meat fork and a similarly large knife. He opened the oven and pulled out the oven rack. Then he stabbed the turkey on either side with the fork and knife. He then proceeded to lift the turkey off the oven pan and over to the platter on the counter. Unfortunately, midway in the turkey-transfer, the turkey started to slip from the fork and knife. Not wanting to drop the turkey on the floor, the quick-thinking Lt. thought that it would be a good idea to re-stab the turkey in mid-air. Unfortunately, he missed in re-stabbing the turkey and instead stabbed himself in the stomach. weeping After a quick trip to the hospital, he eventually recovered. scratchchin wave

The End.

Ed

Nov 23rd 2013 new
(quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Have you ever had a holiday mishap when preparing for a crowd? I thought it might be fun to share our not so secret disasters. You know, the ones your family will never let you forget. Now, I promise to laugh with you and not at you if you'll please do the same! So in classic Chevy Chase style, I will admit...
I did forget to pull the neck and gizzard bag out of the bird my first year. That made for an interesting surprise.

I think my favorite faux pas was when I opted to bring chicky buns to my sisters. (You knot and fold bread stick dough into the shape of a bird and add an almond beak.) Well, I took it a step further and put cloves in for eyes. They smelled great baking and looked adorable, but I sent all the nephews clammoring for water and holding their throats when I neglected to tell them not to eat the eyes!


Great Thread.

When I was a teenager, my family went to my Uncle and Aunt's home for Thanksgiving. Of course, in traditional Italian style, all the women were in the kitchen cooking and preparing and the men were in the living room smoking and chatting. I was asked to take a very large bowl of salad to the dining room table. It was one of the most beautiful salads I've ever seen an everyone was commenting about it. The salad dressing was already mixed in. On my way to the dining room, I dropped the salad all over my Aunt's new white rug. Yes, at that time, everyone had wall to wall rugs, and in the dining room no less. My Uncle and Aunt were never able to get that stain out of the rug and it was a constant (and I hope funny and loving) reminder of me. Everyone still laughs over that incident till this day.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.


Nov 23rd 2013 new
  • Oh, my word, Ed. That poor man! (Thanks for the boost, by the way.)
  • We have a family tradition of going bowling after Thanksgiving dinner. A few years ago, I was cutting the meat off the carcass when I accidentally cut my finger. I opted not to go to emergency room, but hindsight tells me that I probably should have. It did sort of work to my advantage as my children were then relegated to dish duty. To add insult to injury, we didn't go bowling. They remind me every year now to use a smaller, duller knife!
Nov 23rd 2013 new
One year a new friend gave me a turkey from his farm for my big family Thanksgiving :scr
My parents were hosting that year and I gave it to them to prepare.
It was a BIG turkey -- 42 pounds!!! eyepopping eyepopping
it did not fit in a roaster.
it did not fit in a roasting bag.
They decided to tape 2 roasting bags together to roast it all night. scratchchin
Um, tape melts in the oven.
There was a terrible mess of leaking greasy broth from the oven!! weeping surprised
And of course even after the clean-up, the big bird was also old and tough and not tasty at all. irked
I haven't kept in touch with that generous friend.
In hindsight, cutting the bird in half and roasting it with bacon might have helped!
My parents buy their own free-range birds now. wink
Nov 23rd 2013 new
All this family nonsense is driving me crazy. First it was going to be at my mother's house, but I would cook. Then she told me this past Wednesday that she's going to my cousin's house instead. So then it was going to be at my house but the ex is now insisting that we cook and eat at her parents' house (they're out of town all winter). WHY??? Now my daughter is threatening to go to her boyfriend's house. It's making me crazy. I'm ready to throw the turkey onto the neighbor's garage roof and go to a Chinese restaurant. It gets worse for Christmas. I'm thinking of going to Las Vegas this year and hiking around rather than subject myself to it.

Nov 23rd 2013 new
I can feel how embarrassed you must have been, Joesphine. In my family, they would have named the salad after you. My sister was asking Grandma to make her famous "fruit and mushroom salad." I assure you, Grams used marshmallows, not mushrooms, but every year after that, we called it Eileen's mushroom salad!
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