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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Being the Right Person

Dec 6th 2013 new
I am currently teaching my high school students about the Sacrament of Marriage and the Theology of the Body. Each year, I learn so much through our class discussions and it gives me pause to reflect on my own life and "Marriage Readiness." One resource the students use is the USCCB's http://www.foryourmarriage.org website, which has a lot of great topics to think about when considering the Sacrament of Marriage.

One of the things it says on the site is that having a successful Marriage is about more than just finding the right person. It is BEING the right person. I wondered if my CM brothers and sisters might be interesting in sharing their collective wealth of experience here about what it means to BE the right person?
Dec 6th 2013 new
Great topic! I'll start it off! tongue
One of the things that I think would be important in the quest to be the right person is to learn the meaning of John 15:13: There is noo greater love than this: than to lay down one's life for a friend."
Dec 6th 2013 new
You know I always got that part of it. Not sure if the girls I dated over the years got it (or even wanted it). But part of the "implied commitment" meant that in any situation I'd be willing to lay down my life for them. Now days a lot of girls want "freedom" in a relationship. I wonder if they understand that the "protection clause" goes out the window in that situation.

Like one girl I had one date with around last Christimas. We were both lonely I guess. I begged and begged for another date all summer. Then recently she calls me up in the middle of the night and asks if I'm sitting in her drive way with my headlights on. I'm like "No I'm at home." Then she asks me if I can come over. Sure maybe it was a clandestine attempt to get me over to meet the kids. Cast me as a heroic figure. But I kinda doubt it. It was all I could do not to say "Sorry that must be one of your other boyfriends".

rolling eyes
Dec 6th 2013 new
Before you say I was a bad person for not going to her aid. I saw her out on the town safe and sound a week later with a guy about half her age. All I did was smile at her and wave.

Then my phone blows up with text messages. He's my younger cousin, nephew or somethng. "Why did you look at me that way?" I was just happy to see she was okay. She had some kind of guilty consciene.

laughing
Dec 6th 2013 new
(quote) Kristen-878108 said: Great topic! I'll start it off!
One of the things that I think would be important in the quest to be the right person is to learn the meaning of John 15:13: There is noo greater love than this: than to lay down one's life for a friend."
I agree...in marriage, one needs to be willing to lay down ones life. Sacrificial and selfless love is something one needs I think.....reflecting the love of Christ to each other, is what Catholic marriage is about in part.....doesn't always happen over night....but as love deepens and purifies, and if God is in the love of a man and woman, it will happen. It happened in my previous relationship with my ex. All relationships will absolutely require greater degrees of sacrificial love....so if a spouse is not ready for that, or value or strive towards that....there readiness is in question. A lasting marriage needs this dynamic, within the hands of the sacramental bond. Is this not what the church proclaims( admittedly I have not read much of john Paul's theology of the body), but I know it is marvelous from the bit I have ages ago...as is he)... A spouse is asked to die to themselves, and live in service of the other....sometimes easier said then done, amidst a world that shouts out, I, I, I, and me, me, me.....what is in it for me, will I be happy...instead of can I serve. No doubt I have not had to struggle with it myself. However, I can testify, that one gets to the point when you can honestly say, there is nothing( aside from bad sinful things ) I would not do for my intended, there is nothing I will not give up ( aside from being a saint), etc. you are ready for that blessed perpetual yes.

Yes, being the right person is important I think. But perhaps, with the right person, you will be come that ready....you will evolve. I did, as in my former relationship I had to give up many of my marital aspirations, one by one, future kids, living preference, etc....it was hard at first...but God and love encouraged me. In the end, I joyfully relinquished them all.....and in my experience, the love was all the more stronger for it....I was madly in love with him in the beginning, but in the end......it had evolved, into something more.....

i guess at least I will take that awareness and readiness to my next relationship.
Dec 6th 2013 new
(quote) Jillian-1014035 said: I agree...in marriage, one needs to be willing to lay down ones life. Sacrificial and selfless love is something one needs I think.....reflecting the love of Christ to each other, is what Catholic marriage is about in part.....doesn't always happen over night....but as love deepens and purifies, and if God is in the love of a man and woman, it will happen. It happened in my previous relationship with my ex. All relationships will absolutely require greater degrees of sacrificial love....so if a spouse is not ready for that, or value or strive towards that....there readiness is in question. A lasting marriage needs this dynamic, within the hands of the sacramental bond. Is this not what the church proclaims( admittedly I have not read much of john Paul's theology of the body), but I know it is marvelous from the bit I have ages ago...as is he)... A spouse is asked to die to themselves, and live in service of the other....sometimes easier said then done, amidst a world that shouts out, I, I, I, and me, me, me.....what is in it for me, will I be happy...instead of can I serve. No doubt I have not had to struggle with it myself. However, I can testify, that one gets to the point when you can honestly say, there is nothing( aside from bad sinful things ) I would not do for my intended, there is nothing I will not give up ( aside from being a saint), etc. you are ready for that blessed perpetual yes.

Yes, being the right person is important I think. But perhaps, with the right person, you will be come that ready....you will evolve. I did, as in my former relationship I had to give up many of my marital aspirations, one by one, future kids, living preference, etc....it was hard at first...but God and love encouraged me. In the end, I joyfully relinquished them all.....and in my experience, the love was all the more stronger for it....I was madly in love with him in the beginning, but in the end......it had evolved, into something more.....

i guess at least I will take that awareness and readiness to my next relationship.
Meant to say.....no doubt I have had to struggle with it....dying to self.....

ipads arent dent the best for typing.....
Dec 6th 2013 new
Thanks for starting this one Kristen. It is certainly "The Challenge" that defines our life. When we go before the Lord I think that will be the question He asks, even if it stated like Matthew 25. The real question seems to me to be...What does it mean to be the right person. Your scripture quote certainly would serve as a proof of being the right person...it is the fruit of the journey. The trouble, as I see it, is that I think we all secretly think that we ARE the right person, "just because I'm me". Our natural ego driven perceptions give us a pass and everyone else needs to be tested. We naturally rationalize all our bad behavior ( e.g. "if you only knew what they did to me...then you would understand") I could go on, but I guess my initial observation is that it is SOOO hard for us to take a good honest look at ourselves. And unless we do, how can we begin to respond to your theme???
Dec 6th 2013 new
I'm starting to think that all your acquaintances are weirdos.

wide eyed

hug

Dec 6th 2013 new
(quote) Jillian-1014035 said: ...A spouse is asked to die to themselves, and live in service of the other........However, I can testify, that one gets to the point when you can honestly say, there is nothing( aside from bad sinful things ) I would not do for my intended, there is nothing I will not give up ( aside from being a saint), etc. you are ready for that blessed perpetual yes.  

Give this lady a cigar!!!

thumbsup clap Bow
Dec 6th 2013 new
Right person=being the person God calls us to be,to be the best we can for Him.
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