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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

The powers that be might place this topic in St. Peter's Square or elsewhere. However, I think this issue is of paramount importance in Single Living because many of us are either raising children and grandchildren or are doing our best to stay joyfully childlike as we patiently await our future spouse...

These are from Anthony Esalen's book 10 Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child. What others can you think of?

1. Begin by rearing children almost exclusively indoors - give in to the threats of the outdoors, don't risk allowing them to have unbridled experiences out of our observable space. Lock them up in classes and organised instruction and avoid giving them opportunities to run free.

2. Never allow children to organise their own worlds of exploration of that which is interesting or challenging - replace the spontaneous and child initiated and replace it with 7 days of structured activities controlled by others and a timetable that leaves no scope for exploration, time wasting and contemplation.

3. Don't risk allowing children to explore machines or encounter those who know and use them - privilege safety above all things, cut craftsmen from the child's world, despise practical and craft knowledge, forget about the challenge and fascination of maps, diagrams and the like.

4. Replace fairy tales with cliches and fads - water down stories to remove the evil and violent, look for tales that 'flatten' and homogenise, replace fundamental truths with cliches and ideological manifestos.

5. Denigrate or discard the heroic and patriotic - remove fathers who are heroes, men who are warriors, lose sight of the 'piety' of a place like the Welsh uplands and coal mines of Richard Llewellyn's 'How Green was My Valley'. Ignore the dignity of simple people and their ways.


6. Cut down all heroes to size - don't allow a sentimental admiration of a hero, dismiss courage, beat from our boys any hint of hero worship. Instead grow men 'without chests' who spend hours on violent video games but never rumble in the back yard.

7. Reduce all talk of love to narcissism and sex - replace the music and tenderness of love in the Odyssey, or the poetry of Stephen Foster for a lost love, with a reduction of love to the mechanics of sex, "reduce eros to the itch of lust or vanity". Replace the first pangs of curiosity of a boy for a girl, or a girl for a boy, with a bombardment of images of what love isn't.

8. Level all distinctions between man and woman - just as individual personalities are washed from our classrooms, so too, reduce all differences of gender, and convince children that boys and girls are just the same.

9. Distract the child with the shallow or unreal - fail to encourage the child to hear and sharpen the senses before creating, abolish solitude and silence, fill the child's life with the 'noise' of television, video games and other forms of banality. Don't just give decibels of noise but rather, more importantly, mental and spiritual interference. Separate the child from the relationship of family, neighbours and friends and place them in after school care, preschools etc.

10. Deny the transcendent - deny the idea of God, ignore the mystery of faith and religion, ensure that unlike the ancients in the caves of Lascauxthere is little opportunity to contemplate and create a veritable cathedral born of their imaginings. Do everything possible to erase any opportunity for your child to search out the inscriptions of praise on each human heart.
Dec 07 new
11. Send the child to an institutional school instead of homeschooling.
Dec 07 new
Telling a child they are foolish or not praising them for their achievements. Telling them they aren't good enough and must try harder rather than recognising the creativity in what they have done. Failing to recognise that children are closer to God because of their innocence. Telling them that children should be seen and not heard....their voices and their confidence shattered. ...children should be allowed to explore, to camp out and to ask the simple yet really difficult questions about their creator
Dec 07 new
12. not educationing oneself in the joys of attachment and self esteem
Dec 07 new
(quote) Susan-857876 said: 12. not educationing oneself in the joys of attachment and self esteem
Gabor Mate Hold on to your kids.
Dec 07 new
(quote) David-174079 said: The powers that be might place this topic in St. Peter's Square or elsewhere. However, I think this issue is of paramount importance in Single Living because many of us are either raising children and grandchildren or are doing our best to stay joyfully childlike as we patiently await our future spouse...

These are from Anthony Esalen's book 10 Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child. What others can you think of?

1. Begin by rearing children almost exclusively indoors - give in to the threats of the outdoors, don't risk allowing them to have unbridled experiences out of our observable space. Lock them up in classes and organised instruction and avoid giving them opportunities to run free.
2. Never allow children to organise their own worlds of exploration of that which is interesting or challenging - replace the spontaneous and child initiated and replace it with 7 days of structured activities controlled by others and a timetable that leaves no scope for exploration, time wasting and contemplation.
3. Don't risk allowing children to explore machines or encounter those who know and use them - privilege safety above all things, cut craftsmen from the child's world, despise practical and craft knowledge, forget about the challenge and fascination of maps, diagrams and the like.
4. Replace fairy tales with cliches and fads - water down stories to remove the evil and violent, look for tales that 'flatten' and homogenise, replace fundamental truths with cliches and ideological manifestos.
5. Denigrate or discard the heroic and patriotic - remove fathers who are heroes, men who are warriors, lose sight of the 'piety' of a place like the Welsh uplands and coal mines of Richard Llewellyn's 'How Green was My Valley'. Ignore the dignity of simple people and their ways.

6. Cut down all heroes to size - don't allow a sentimental admiration of a hero, dismiss courage, beat from our boys any hint of hero worship. Instead grow men 'without chests' who spend hours on violent video games but never rumble in the back yard.
7. Reduce all talk of love to narcissism and sex - replace the music and tenderness of love in the Odyssey, or the poetry of Stephen Foster for a lost love, with a reduction of love to the mechanics of sex, "reduce eros to the itch of lust or vanity". Replace the first pangs of curiosity of a boy for a girl, or a girl for a boy, with a bombardment of images of what love isn't.
8. Level all distinctions between man and woman - just as individual personalities are washed from our classrooms, so too, reduce all differences of gender, and convince children that boys and girls are just the same.
9. Distract the child with the shallow or unreal - fail to encourage the child to hear and sharpen the senses before creating, abolish solitude and silence, fill the child's life with the 'noise' of television, video games and other forms of banality. Don't just give decibels of noise but rather, more importantly, mental and spiritual interference. Separate the child from the relationship of family, neighbours and friends and place them in after school care, preschools etc.
10. Deny the transcendent - deny the idea of God, ignore the mystery of faith and religion, ensure that unlike the ancients in the caves of Lascauxthere is little opportunity to contemplate and create a veritable cathedral born of their imaginings. Do everything possible to erase any opportunity for your child to search out the inscriptions of praise on each human heart.
A lot of these....most, actually...could apply to couples only the title would be more like: "10 Ways to Destroy a Relationship"
Dec 07 new
Gordon Neufeld is another great author on this subject
Dec 07 new
Homeschooling is only as good as the parent's talent, knowledge, and temperament and the child's receptivity. It is not a panacea.
Dec 07 new
(quote) Marge-938695 said: Homeschooling is only as good as the parent's talent, knowledge, and temperament and the child's receptivity. It is not a panacea.
Homeschooling would have been awful for me. Junior and senior high school were very isolating and lonely, but I needed them in order to learn how to live in the world and not hide myself from it.
Dec 07 new
Depending on the child -- the IQ or education of the parent is not a problem. I homeschooled my kids on and off and my intelligence is not nearly as high as theirs! Mostly I un-schooled, letting them explore the world and their interests at their own pace, letting them delve into areas of interest that I knew nothing about -- computers, for interest -- my son built his own at a young age! We practically lived at the library using their resources to find out all kinds of things. I made sure the basics were covered, but let them just go as deeply as they wanted into the different areas in each field. My 17yo loves history -- read everything she could. My 2 nature kids devoured everything about animals, nature, environment. My youngest spends free time writing poetry and stories. Second youngest designs clothing and draws illustrations for her sister's books. My musically gifted oldest daughter became proficient on many instruments and was paid to entertain at functions.
My kids were self-driven and I just created an environment that let them grow -- I was their appreciative cheering section, but not their teacher, really!
And -- you are no way socially isolated or 'out of the world' when homeschooling if you join groups for field trips, field days, gymnastics, etc and take advantages of the many opportunities available!
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