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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Here's an article that spells it out nicely!
1. It doesn't matter what you say, it matters how she feels.
2. Men
work on logic, she works on emotion.
3.
Women dont compartmentalize.
4.
What women want isn't that complicated.
5.
She is more afraid of rejection than you are.
jamesmsama.wordpress.com
What do you think?

Dec 12th 2013 new
Though I can't attest to any of the above mentioned items. I had an interesting conversation with a woman yesterday. She goes to church but considers herself more "spiritual". That is a concept that I believe most men can't wrap their arms around. So I will add that men are "religious" and women are "spiritual".

Is that akin to "logic" and "emotion"? scratchchin

My Mother is the only person in the world who prays for me. Daily. Rosary after rosary. But since coming here I have touched some hearts. And Saturday night (while at work) around bed time I felt something.

I was convinced that it was people praying for me. Either more people than usual or someone very holy and important. Or maybe it was just one individual but it really meant something.

In that brief moment I thought I understood "spirituality" but now I again can't find the meaning in it. Even though I can reconstruct what happened to make me feel it. Now it's just another definition in the dictionary.

Guess men are from Mars or something. eyebrow


Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: Here's an article that spells it out nicely!
1. It doesn't matter what you say, it matters how she feels.
2. Men
work on logic, she works on emotion.

What do you think?

I think:

(a) (1) and (2) are generally, albeit not necessarily just for women, although with men the presentation is a bit different.
[I'm only considering these two points at this time; omission of the others is not necessarily an indication of agreement.]

(b) (a) is objectively a very big problem both for the individual and society.

Contrary to what many believe, the conscience is a faculty of the intellect, not the emotions. When we allow out actions to be governed by emotion rather than reasoned thought we are bypassing our conscience: as such, we are acting in error, regardless of whether the end result was morally correct or incorrect.

This is not to say that emotions are necessarily wrong or should have no part in how we act; however, the final decision has to be an intellectual one which uses right reason to evaluate the emotional inclinations against what we know to be the truth and to avoid acting in contradiction to the latter.




Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Eric-929127 said:  She goes to church but considers herself more "spiritual". That is a concept that I believe most men can't wrap their arms around. So I will add that men are "religious" and women are "spiritual".

What this usually means is the person is trying to distance themself from religion without coming out and denying God. I have seen many men use the "I'm spiritual, just not religious" line as well.

Every person has a soul, so we are by nature spiritual beings, whether we realize or want to admit to it or not. Even the demons are "spiritual" -- even more so than us, since they have no physical component.


Dec 12th 2013 new
Jerry -- did you read the article?
#1 and #2 do not mean we operate only by how we feel, which would be wrong.
. For number 1, "As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words." means that telling a woman you love her or respect her does not mean much unless you consistently show it.
For number 2 -- that means that we won't see things as just right or wrong, but more wonderfully right or more terribly wrong -- not just fact, but feeling too.
Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: What do you think?

Well, I do like that blue and white polka dot dress in one of the pictures. But I suppose that's not what you're asking about. smile

I'm always suspicious of men giving men advice about how women act, and women giving women advice on how men act. I find it much more useful to get it straight from the proverbial horse's mouth. Some of what was written applies to me, some of it doesn't. So, I suppose in that sense women are complicated and can't be generalized quite so neatly as the author wants us to believe. Of course, his intent could have been to be a springboard for discussion, and if that was his goal he did bring up some good points to chew on.
Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Margaret-20183 said: .... horse's mouth .... chew on.
Which raises the obvious question .........................................................................................................................

Why do horses have a one chamber stomach unlike a sheep or goat when they all eat the same thing?
Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Rachel-731570 said: ..... For number 1, "As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words." means that telling a woman you love her or respect her does not mean much unless you consistently show it.
For number 2 -- that means that we won't see things as just right or wrong, but more wonderfully right or more terribly wrong -- not just fact, but feeling too.
1. 'Why do you call me Lord when you never do as I say?'

2. A conviction is a feeling. You may know that something is right but if that's all, you're in an inferior state to some who both knows and feels that something is right. 'Happy are those who do not see yet believe ....' But, of these happy people, only some have the conviction that what they believe but cannot see is true. Most would have the intellectual position consisting of the joint opinions that it is a greater probability than not that God exists, and that it is provably personally and socially beneficial to take the first opinion and run with it.
Dec 12th 2013 new
(quote) Eric-929127 said: ... I felt something.

I was convinced that it was people praying for me.  ....

In that brief moment I thought I understood "spirituality" 
Happy are those who feel these 'somethings' (tempered with the feeling that it was because of 'since coming here'). Feelings are a wild horse. Feelings tempered by truth are a tamed one.
Dec 12th 2013 new
Dear Rachel,

Yes and no...Women, being human beings, are incredibly complex, so let's not set guys up for disappointment. But the good news is we guys are up to the task, once we understand how the communication is supposed to work. From something I wrote...

Two Paths of Blessing

When we looked at the dance there were two paths of communication- the concise path of blessing from the man to the woman and the broad path of blessing from the woman to the man, and this blessing continuously flows between them. We saw that despite the fact that the man seemed to be the only one talking because he leads and she follows we saw the truth was the opposite. The woman speaks more, but she speaks through her very being, and the man does most of the listening, using the knowledge to create the perfect lead.

Its the same way in romance. Woman speak more than men; for every word a man says a woman says 5 or 6 or 10. In a typical romantic conversation most men are befuddled because even though she is speaking on and on she may seem to be saying nothing in particular. This is because when men communicate they typically are short and to the point, brief and concise. The styles of communication between the man and the woman seem contradictory, but once we view it through the dance it all becomes clear that they compliment each other. The concise communication of the man is suited to blessing through the lead. In speaking in a broad, continuous manner the woman is expressing who she is, and is suitable for blessing through the response. She is speaking not only with her words but in the way that she acts and dresses. The woman is looking for something very specific- to be the center of the mans world. She wants a man who is confident yet gentle, thoughtful, creative and attentive. If she were to tell him she wanted some specific material thing, then she has no idea if he is any of these things. After all the gent at the coffee shop who does not know her can make her a double whipped mocha if that is what she says that she wants. But if she chooses to just be herself then she will know she is the center of his conversation when he shows understanding how to lead the conversation, when he recognizes her emotional, visual and verbal cues she is giving. Through questions and statements he can lead the conversation, creating space for the woman to fill, to continually express who she is. When he uses this knowledge to create a unique gift to her that on one hand matches who she is but on the other is a complete surprise, then she is supremely happy, because she knows that he knows her and cares for her. This is not a one shot deal, but a continuous decision on the part of the man to love the woman.

Side note, some men to think that because the woman talks on and on then he can talk on and on about himself too. This actually annoys women.

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