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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

A flaw you repaired

Dec 13th 2013 new
What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.
Dec 13th 2013 new
Flaws? What flaws? I don't have flaws--I have facets. Battling eyelashes rolling eyes laughing
Dec 14th 2013 new
So, a rough diamond you're not, but a polished gem. That can't be natural.
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.
that's awfully personal laughing. I am a work in progress with God's help.
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.

Funny you mention that. I was a fixer also. Its so strange that I attract men who have some issue that needs fixing, and I used to be so happy to help. I guess it's part of the woman's nurturing nature to want to take care of people. As a fixers, however, it seemed that I always would up getting personally emboiled in the problems and seemed to take them on to my plate. That was draining for me emotionally. The difference between your experiences and my experiences is that I've been somewhat successful at fixing their problems- and then once better, then they move on to someone else. In a way, I started thinking that that was my lot in life, but then I made the decision that it wasn't. It is no longer my responsibility to fix other peoples problems, especially the men I date. Everyone has problems, and I can't take on everyone elses. I will offer advise if I can and if they want it, and help if they ask without getting so personally involved, but the fixing can't be at my expense.




Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Roystan-340472 said: So, a rough diamond you're not, but a polished gem. That can't be natural.
True--I am unremarkable in outer appearance, a dull, battered external surface. Certainly not polished. The pavilion angle must be too shallow, and my scintillation brilliance not up to par, as human eyes perceive my lifeless, milky reflection. Maybe I am still set in cement. Or maybe 1 Samuel 16:7 should be my comfort. Still, the Cutter's Hand is bruiting, at work attaining the goal of TIR. And His is a supernatural hand.
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What is a past flaw that was the demise of your relationship(s). For me, I am a "fixer" by nature. I learned the hard way that: somethings I cannot fix, some things are the responsibility of others to fix, and a man's pride is an important part of him, accept it and move on, he doesn't want you to fix situations.
Flaw? What flaw? :)

Seriously....I fixed the unrealistic expectation that with work and patience,any relationship would work out. It's a roll of the dice, and if you roll 7s before GOD's WILL is manifest, it won't work.

So, I stopped trusting in myself and let Him drive.
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Josephine-586127 said:
Funny you mention that. I was a fixer also. Its so strange that I attract men who have some issue that needs fixing, and I used to be so happy to help. I guess it's part of the woman's nurturing nature to want to take care of people. As a fixers, however, it seemed that I always would up getting personally emboiled in the problems and seemed to take them on to my plate. That was draining for me emotionally. The difference between your experiences and my experiences is that I've been somewhat successful at fixing their problems- and then once better, then they move on to someone else. In a way, I started thinking that that was my lot in life, but then I made the decision that it wasn't. It is no longer my responsibility to fix other peoples problems, especially the men I date. Everyone has problems, and I can't take on everyone elses. I will offer advise if I can and if they want it, and help if they ask without getting so personally involved, but the fixing can't be at my expense.




Josephine, I totally agree that as women we are inclined to "fixing." We are nurturers, but like you stated, it can be emotionally draining when we don't have a healthy balance. I will say that our "helping" nature often leads us to pursue "helping" professions. When we choose these professions, then we must remember not to allow our clients/patients' lives intertwine with our personal lives--i.e., bringing the work home. Out of curiosity, are you in a helping profession also?
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: Flaws? What flaws? I don't have flaws--I have facets.
That's right Lina every women is a multi-faceted diamond ready to surprise her guy with her many traits, talents and tenderness. I am always looking for the guy diamond in the rough who will shine when he is loved.
Dec 14th 2013 new
(quote) Lina-796057 said: True--I am unremarkable in outer appearance, a dull, battered external surface.
I have one word for you: poppycock! smile
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