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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

My cousin confided in me that she wanted to meet a man who truly loves her (a pure love). I told her we can only expect from someone what they are capable of giving. I further explained that most people don't know what true love is. Infatuation and many other impostors are confused for love. In today's society, how many are capable of committing to a 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 love? She agreed.

What have you expected in a previous relationship that your significant other was incapable of giving? For me, I expected a level of faith that provided hope in the very challenging situation we were in. Unfortunately, he did not have it. His response was like the person illustrated in James 1:6.
Dec 23 new
I had no reason to doubt his faith since we had met in a Catholic Singles group. He proved me wrong. Not Catholic and not very religious either. I asked him why he went to a Catholic group in the first place. His reply was that he liked being around those people and he liked the hugging during the sign of peace. oh brother!
Dec 25 new
(quote) Joan-679620 said: What have you expected in a previous relationship that your significant other was incapable of giving? 
I think both sentences, your Highlighted text and your headline sort of juxtapose each other. One one hand we create certain expectations of someone.. and on the other we don't know if they have the capability to meet those expectations. scratchchin scratchchin
Dec 25 new
Although I kinda agree with Dave on this one, I see what you're trying to say. We all have basic ideas of how a relationship should be and what we should come to expect from a partner or spouse. To me, the ability to compromise and think about how your actions would affect your loved ones are two basic expectations that I have in a relationship with someone. In my previous relationship, even though everything else was there, she didn't know how to compromise, and she did whatever she wanted expecting me to be okay with it.
Dec 25 new
I'm looking for commitment & undivided love. Loyalty. Someone who actually walks the talk! I guess we should all reasonably expect that. Anything else is a bonus!
Dec 30 new
(quote) John-917143 said: Although I kinda agree with Dave on this one, I see what you're trying to say. We all have basic ideas of how a relationship should be and what we should come to expect from a partner or spouse. To me, the ability to compromise and think about how your actions would affect your loved ones are two basic expectations that I have in a relationship with someone. In my previous relationship, even though everything else was there, she didn't know how to compromise, and she did whatever she wanted expecting me to be okay with it.
John, you hit on something I thought about a bit--when our expectation is about something that is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship, but our significant other doesn't have. Your example, compromise, is a great one. It was reasonable for you to expect your girlfriend to compromise, but it wasn't within her capacity at that time. Consequently, the relationship deteriorated. Maybe if we can pinpoint what people can give before we fall too deeply for them, perhaps we can save ourself some grief.
Dec 30 new
(quote) Dave-146273 said: I think both sentences, your Highlighted text and your headline sort of juxtapose each other. One one hand we create certain expectations of someone.. and on the other we don't know if they have the capability to meet those expectations.
So true , Dave. I think the issue lies in the fact that our "expectations" are predetermined and not necessarily tied to a particular person. We have our expectations and try to fit people into our preferred mold. As a Christian, I expect the man I am with to be compassionate. The reality is he may not have had an awareness of the plight of others via his family environment and/or his life to this point. So, the lens he sees the world through may not allow him to be empathetic. We often feel we can change people and this view can get us and the relationship into trouble.
Dec 30 new
(quote) Connie-17641 said: I had no reason to doubt his faith since we had met in a Catholic Singles group. He proved me wrong. Not Catholic and not very religious either. I asked him why he went to a Catholic group in the first place. His reply was that he liked being around those people and he liked the hugging during the sign of peace. oh brother!
Connie, I am glad he was truthful in his response. He told you who he was in actions & words.
Dec 30 new
My cousin confided in me that she wanted to meet a man who truly loves her (a pure love). I told her we can only expect from someone what they are capable of giving. I further explained that most people don't know what true love is. Infatuation and many other impostors are confused for love. In today's society, how many are capable of committing to a 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 love? She agreed.


I was formerly engaged and from my experience and what I learned in a year of pre cana was this: You cannot have expectations from someone if they are unreasonable or are something that they cannot meet. With regards to true love, that is something most of us seek, but like you said, people do not know what it is. If I have learned anything in my journey this year it is that in order to receive the love that you want, you have to be able to give yourself that level of love. Once you are able to love yourself the way you want to love someone and that way you want someone to love you, the laws of attraction will then do their part. Along with this of course one has to pray and have faith that when the time is right, God will help you to find someone who loves you the way you want to love and be loved. You get a Gold Star!
Dec 30 new
This is very true and the difficulty is we don't know what we can withstand or what the other can give during a crisis until that very crisis erupts. This is why having a deep faith and trust in God is so important for both parties and when you cannot lean on that person, you turn to God and not substances (drugs, alcohol) or another person (and end up having an emotional affair). This is when that 'commitment' is supposed to kick in and unfortunately, this is what most people don't get. Only with God's grace can a couple make it through many problems in relationships and unless that couple is committed to prayer, receiving the sacraments, and consciously working through issues together -- that relationship will fail.

We may have expectations especially when a 'vow' is taken. But we can't predetermine how any human is going to respond to any given situation.
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