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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
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My husband passed away five years ago. I haven't been in any real hurry to start dating again---more because I haven't really met anyone yet than anything else. But I got to thinking, how would I feel if I walked into my date's home and his late wife's picture was still hanging on the wall---or visa versa.

Never expected to be widowed so young. The whole prospect of dating again since my last "real" date was probably 37 years ago is pretty weird to be honest, but I'm open.

This photo thing just popped into my head. Any thoughts?
Dec 22nd 2013 new
Merry Christmas Gianna

Never should you remove the photos of your late husband. Would you remove your right arm? He is a significant part of who you are. I call your attention to the thread "When should you take your rings off?" I made a post of why I think that your partner should be honored not only by you and family but by any one who has the desire to establish a relationship with you.

Your next potential mate should continue to honor and respect not only you but your former husband as a part of your loving life together. Should he feel threatened by the phiotos of your husband I submit that he is not the one for you. It would show how shallow he is. As your new relationship develops you will mutually find a balance of what is good for both of you .

I hope that your journey on the CM site will be rewarding and you find joy and happiness as you navigate life's challenges.

God love and protect you

Philip




Dec 23rd 2013 new
wave I would not advise you to remove any of your husbands photos.He was an important part of both you and your children lives,The fond memories will help both you and your children,
I don't think that any future beaus should feel threatened by it.

Wishing you and your children all God's blessings theheart
Dec 23rd 2013 new
Thank you kindly for your well thought out perspective.

Hmm...as far as this site. Nope, haven't had any good luck at all. This is my second shot at it.

Either I'm wrong about the way I'm pursuing Mr. Right...or this venue just isn't in the cards!

I pray that the Lord will send you a Godly woman who will respect your character.

A blessed Christmas !


Jan 3rd 2014 new

Re: Removing your late husbands pictures.

That is a good topic for me also. My husband only died last February but I do not think I could get on with life without his pictures around. In fact, when I had the Memorial Service for him, I dug up as many "living, happy" photos of him as I could and came across some I had forgotten about. I managed to find frames to fit some and now proudly display them. My current house does not have the nooks and crannies my old house had, so they are mostly in my bedroom. It may seem strange but I still write to him in a journal every night (mostly) and hold a favorite picture of the day (or night). I even found some old letters he wrote to me while I was in school before we were married. It was quite a surprise and boy did they get me through some rough days and nights. Preserve your memories however you can as long as it does not become an excessive compulsion. I think we all will know when the time is right to give them their own spot. Heck, I just had a guy wish me goodnight after 15 min. back in my house because he doesn't like dogs. I have a 15 yr. old pup he wouldn't even look at. So I say -Good Riddance to him!! I don't know if I wandered to far off the topic but hope something made sense.

Have a Happy, Successful New Year.

annmarie

Jan 4th 2014 new
I still have pictures of my husband up on the wall of fame right when you walk in the front door. He is my daughters father and important part of our lives. I did not and will not take them dowm when dating and will have discussion aobut him with a date. I have loved and lost and that makes me who I am today.
Jan 5th 2014 new
Interesting perspective. A question we all have to answer, when, if at all, do we take our spouses pictures down. Especially if it was a good and blessed marriage. The other question is when do we take our wedding ring off.
Those questions did not come up until around the 5th year for me. After much prayer and seeking guidance, I decided to take my late wife's pictures down. The hurt of losing her was not leaving and every time I saw her pictures, it brought back memories of her suffering before she finally passed away.
I had to take the pictures down, just so I could continue with life. Having said that, I did allow both of my sons
to keep any picture of their Mother. The youngest still lives with me and he decided to hang her pictures on the wall.
Memories, They will not go away whether you have pictures hanging on the wall or not. Especially the happy
moments, but even the sad moments and arguments yall had will occasionally come back. That was our life
and I won't change it for the world.
I dated again at year 5, but it was while dating that I realized how much influence my late wife still had on me.
I remember the lady stating that she felt as she was dating a married man. More important I felt as if I was
cheating on my late wife. Neither was true. It was then that I realized if I wanted someone in my life then I had
to move on to the next chapter in my life. Which is what our Lord wants us to do. He can not work through us if
we try to stay in the past no matter how beautiful and great that past was. If our Lord was in you marriage then it
was great and beautiful.
The decision will be yours to make. The only advise I can give is do not make the decision based on some one else, the new person in your life. And trust the unknown future to Our Lord.
God Bless You

PS The wedding ring was simpler, I lost weight, was working on my car and some how it came off. Never found the ring. I always thought it was my late wife's way of telling me that she wanted me to move on and it was OK.
Of all the post, this one was a toughie for me, brought back many memories. Thank You
Jan 6th 2014 new

YES!!!!!! No picture!


Is he gone or is he not?
Are you ready for a new relationship or are you not?
The instant I see a photo of a widower's dead wife, I tell myself, "Sorry, bub, but you are not ready to move on."
And if you're not ready, dear Pink Sistah...move aside, please, so that they can get to ME. wink

laughing



Jan 6th 2014 new
(quote) Richard-999453 said: Interesting perspective. A question we all have to answer, when, if at all, do we take our spouses pictures down. Especially if it was a good and blessed marriage. The other question is when do we take our wedding ring off.
Those questions did not come up until around the 5th year for me. After much prayer and seeking guidance, I decided to take my late wife's pictures down. The hurt of losing her was not leaving and every time I saw her pictures, it brought back memories of her suffering before she finally passed away.
I had to take the pictures down, just so I could continue with life. Having said that, I did allow both of my sons
to keep any picture of their Mother. The youngest still lives with me and he decided to hang her pictures on the wall.
Memories, They will not go away whether you have pictures hanging on the wall or not. Especially the happy
moments, but even the sad moments and arguments yall had will occasionally come back. That was our life
and I won't change it for the world.
I dated again at year 5, but it was while dating that I realized how much influence my late wife still had on me.
I remember the lady stating that she felt as she was dating a married man. More important I felt as if I was
cheating on my late wife. Neither was true. It was then that I realized if I wanted someone in my life then I had
to move on to the next chapter in my life. Which is what our Lord wants us to do. He can not work through us if
we try to stay in the past no matter how beautiful and great that past was. If our Lord was in you marriage then it
was great and beautiful.
The decision will be yours to make. The only advise I can give is do not make the decision based on some one else, the new person in your life. And trust the unknown future to Our Lord.
God Bless You

PS The wedding ring was simpler, I lost weight, was working on my car and some how it came off. Never found the ring. I always thought it was my late wife's way of telling me that she wanted me to move on and it was OK.
Of all the post, this one was a toughie for me, brought back many memories. Thank You
very inspiring and intuitive smile, thank you .... you have a wonderful wife heartbeat angel and raise amazing/remarkable sons... hug Praying theheart rosary rose rose rose
Jan 6th 2014 new
Well, here's my 2 cents.

I have very few pictures up on my walls in general of my family. Took them down to re-paint and I'm still "getting a round tuit". Anyhow, I disagree with removing pictures of deceased spouses as a deliberate effort not to offend a potential. I do understand if looking at the pictures cause you pain. That is one reason I don't wear my wedding rings. It hurt too much to look at/feel them. I respectfully disagree that it means one isn't "over" the spouse. These pictures are of my children with their parents; activities done as a family, life events, etc. Why remove them? Would one remove pictures of a deceased child? Fear of offending the other children? Not talk about a deceased child who once was part of the family in life? Who does that? In that situation, I think removing a child's life with the family is not healthy. There, I would encourage talk therapy. Avoidance and denial hurt a person and prevent "moving on". Believe me, I know!!!

Pictures can be a source of many different emotions--good, bad, and ugly. Pictures should not be a threat to another. They are what they are--capturing a moment in time of events in our lives.

That's my 2 cents!!
Chris
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