You are exactly right we should focus on being the best person we can be, being social, being engaged, being of service. I think, however, instead of facing the fact that we will always be alone, we should work to think it is okay if I never marry or remarry because I am able to develop intimate relationships with the people around me (not intimate as a term for sexual intimacy but intimate as in knowing and caring and interacting with others on a deep level.
I come from a large, rowdy family and was married a long time and I still felt lonely at times and even made statements to myself like, I should just accept the fact that I will always go to social events alone, or family events alone. . .because Pete worked long, hard hours to provide for his family and that meant that he wasn't always available to do things that came up. I finally came to the realization that I could feel sorry for myself or I could feel sorry for my husband for having to miss those things. I always admired and loved him for how hard he worked, it mattered to him and he took it seriously and he hated missing things. So, I tried to make his time at home warm and loving and enjoyed just being together whether it was for a few hours or a few days. And, I took all the other time I had and focused on activities at church, with my extended family and a few good friends.
At one time he asked me why I did so much volunteer work at church and the kids parochial school. And, I told him that I had chosen to take that path and do something beneficial in an environment where I could develop friendships and a support system to fill some of that alone time but also so that I was in an environment that was not negative -- meaning that I could have filled it with friends who were likewise often alone and negative about it, where we would have commiserated and gone out on Saturday nights for a girls' night of drinking and dancing without our husbands and feeling always alone would have made me vulnerable to the attention of someone else.
It was good that this post came tonight. I've been sitting here battling this vein of thought tonight. It's the second Christmas without Pete. My kiddos are grown and have other families to visit as well and so I have spent most of this day all alone and was starting to feel sorry for myself and even thought, I should just accept the fact that I will always be alone on the holidays from now on. . .but that is just bull hockey. Next year I won't be recovering from surgery and I will make plans to be with friends or family for this day, or volunteer at a community dinner or something. And, I am not alone, I have people who love me and have made contact throughout the day. I have my guardian angel and Our Lord and memories of my guy.
God may or may not call me to another marriage, but every day He calls me to engage with others and everyday He gives me opportunities to learn more, to be more. So, I am going to chose to be positive and proactive about my currently unmarried state and just see where it takes me. Like you said, when we stop being urgent about it, things happen.
The important thing is not whether we are married or single, alone or in a crowd. But that we are focused on doing what God wants us to do today the best we can; tomorrow we can focus on tomorrow.