(quote) Maria-1022025 said: Lately, I have found myself reading various posts that show how unhappy and at times desperate people are in their never ending quest to find the one thing that is perhaps the most sought after in this world-love. One of the most powerful and rarest emotions one can find in its purest form. I have been through many broken relationships and have realized recently that being single does not have to be as taboo or as much of a condemnation to loneliness and pain as everyone portrays it to be. Call it being overly optimistic, but I wanted to share some things that help me get through those bouts of loneliness and sadness when it comes to being single-
1. God never gives us more than we can handle. If we are single there is a reason for it. Some people believe it is because our soul mate is not ready for us. Others believe it is because we ourselves are not ready for love, so when we are ready we should hold faith that God will steer us in the right direction.
2. Love is patient, love is kind.....it does not boast....patience is perhaps one of the most difficult concepts for most of us to grasp when it comes to love...I have realized I would rather wait for the right man when God deems it, than to rush the process and give all I have into something that will not work out.
3. The more relationships you are in the more likely you will suffer from a broken heart..I would rather be single that suffer from a broken heart....
4. Until we understand ourselves and know what we want and have enough self love, we are not ready to share love in God's way with anyone else. God created us in his image, and if we do not love ourselves how can we expect someone else to love us the way we want to be loved?
These of course are just a few of my ideas....anyone else have some words of wisdom on how to cope with being single and having faith that when the time is right God will bring us our soulmate?
Please share! Let's stop feeling sorry for ourselves and focusing on constructing negative self fulfilling prophecies. Let's take being single with stride and trust in God...in the mean time a little positive thinking about being single may help us all get through this time of year.
Hi, Maria. You have made some thoughtful and caring posts here on CM!
I may be making a mistake in answering you with my initial reactions rather than pausing and thinking it out, but here goes.
1. Some are single because they keep seeking to receive
love much more than they are seeking to give
love or to BE a good spouse for someone.
2. You said you'd rather wait for the right man when God deems it rather than rush the process and give it all you have for something that won't work out. How will you know when the "right" man that God deems is in front of you? And how will you know something won't work out unless you give it all you've got?
3. Pain is a part of being human, whether we are in a relationship or not, because this is a fallen world. We will still sometimes feel pain when we are with the "right" person, because we fall short of loving perfectly and being totally selfless. Yes, the more relationships we develop, whether romantic ones or platonic ones, the increased risk of having our hearts broken is present....and the greater opportunities of loving others is present as well, of helping others through our friendship, giving comfort, laughing and enjoying companionships.
4. One way we come to understand ourselves is through the various relationships we experience throughout our lives, where our theories of Self are tried and tested against the types of other people we come to know. We may believe ourselves to be a kind and patient person, but that is proved only when others may be jerks to us. And certain types of people will bring out particular characteristics in us that may not necessarily show themselves when we are with other people. This doesn't make us false; this is just being like a multi-faceted prism.
"God will bring us our soulmate"--it is nigh unto impossible to have soulmates delivered to our door. We must be out there in the world, meeting people, doing His Will, for the encounter to happen.
Oh, yes, I agree we should not wallow in self-pity, though sometimes we will naturally have our low moments. Keeping a positive attitude is most beneficial; encouraging and uplifting others help keep negatives times at bay.
Again, I'm just off-the-cuff writing here....